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Needing a bit of help with depression

(7 Posts)
TealElephant Wed 01-Jun-16 11:54:27

Hi ladies, im having a bit of trouble deciding what to do. Me and my SO have been together a few years now, we have a beautuful 2 yo girl and he has a cheeky chap (almost 7 YO) from a previous relationship who we have shared custody of and im 27 weeks pregnant with the next cheeky chap to add to the mix smile
I've just been diagnosed with 'moderate to severe' depression (first time I've ever heard a scale used by a doctor!) And had an emergency referral sent to a psychiatrist.
Now to get to the point, ive suffered with depression and anxiety for years and while everyone close to me is aware of this, I've mafe a conscious effort to sheild them all from it. My SO is the main one I'm worried about, he has never had to deal with my depression, never seen the full extent of my anxiety and hasn't had to deal with me getting help before. He's an impatient, foul tempered sod (not harmful or anything, its just who he is) and I dont think he'll understand or know how to react, so I dont really want to tell him. But I know I have to because I cant deal with this alone anymore. Any advice on how or when to broach the subject with him? Or what to say? Or any encouragement or advice at all really please!
Thanks for reading my essay lol

seven201 Wed 01-Jun-16 13:01:08

What's a SO?

I think you need to tell your partner and it might actually feel good to get it out in the open. I have no experience but if you're worried about him not understanding how to support you then could you print off useful resources for partners of people with depression/anxiety or point him to websites etc. It's great that you identified you needed help and are now getting it. smile

TealElephant Wed 01-Jun-16 13:43:52

Significant other smile
That's what I tbought to start off with but first off, I dont think he's going to take it seriously, secondly its hard to get him to read anything, I had a very challenging first pregnancy and I had a brilliant midwife that got together a load of information on how he could help me but he wouldn't even read that, so I doubt he'll read anything to do with this. My guess is he'll just try to block it out because he doesn't deal with problems, he ignors them :/ I'll just have to awkwardly blurt it out and hope for the best I think, although a huge part of me is screaming saying it will make it worse, but that could just be the anxiety eating away at me.
Thank you smile

Jojoclaire Wed 01-Jun-16 14:44:27

Poor you sad You must have enough on your plate without having to worry how he will react to this.

Maybe part of the depression is causing you to feel downbeat about talking to him. Past evidence would suggest he's not interested, but I think you have to give him a chance and try to feel positive that he might understand?

I think the idea about leaving him something helpful to read, maybe even write him a letter about how YOU feel too so it's not all "theoretical" and have faith that he will read it in his own time. So hard though hugs

Can you speak to anyone else in the meantime who knows him and how he might react? Or how would you feel about asking him to go to the doc with you to talk it through together?

TealElephant Wed 01-Jun-16 18:02:53

Well I told him and it went as expected, he looked up from his phone long enough to say 'oh right' then went straight back to his phone and changed the subject. Completely uninterested, I guess im still in this alone then so it wasn't worth telling him at all.
Hopefully the help that the doctor offers will be enough sad

Jojoclaire Wed 01-Jun-16 20:00:01

I'm sorry. Must be so hard. I'm sure the doctor will help you. Did she suggest a counsellor? That could be just what you need to build up your strength with him and for yourself once the little one arrives.

elliej83 Wed 01-Jun-16 20:15:41

You're not in this alone we are here for you smile I've been through the same thing with a similar SO he didn't know how to react.
Rather than just mention it once I've continued to talk to him about when I feel anxious. It's really surprised him at times. I love going to the cinema but when I mentioned that's where I get the most anxious he was really taken aback. There's times when he doesn't acknowledge me saying how I feel and he still rarely talks about his feelings but I need him to understand what I'm going through.
If you need any support I'm here smile

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