Posting because I feel like I need to write down how I am feeling, I expect some judgement but really looking for people who have dealt with similar or some advice.
I am pregnant and due in September, very happy and excited and totally in love with my partner. But lately every night I can't stop thinking about an abortion I had 7 years ago, having really horrible dreams and then lie awake all night thinking about it and how I don't deserve to be happy about the new baby arriving when I terminated a pregnancy before. My circumstances then were different in a sense I found out I was pregnant after breaking up with my partner who had been seeing someone else behind my back for 6months but I feel I made the decision irrationally and out of anger and hurt and looking back I don't feel my reasons were enough to justify my decision. I was 7 weeks when I terminated the pregnancy and at the time told myself this was nothing but now after actually going through pregnancy and being excited at an 8 week scan I realise I was wrong and feel so guilty. I never told any friends or family about what I went through only my ex. I don't feel I have anyone to talk to. I could talk to my partner now he is very understanding but I don't want to upset him or offload my past on to him or him be upset that I never told him before, it isn't something I have ever wanted to share.
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Pregnancy
*sensitive* Feeling guilty
5 replies
PurpleMermaid · 01/06/2016 11:09
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