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Telling work at 20 weeks - doable?

(13 Posts)
Stretchedfortime Fri 27-May-16 21:52:48


I've got a real dilemma. I'm 17 weeks pregnant - I had a miscarriage last year so it is great to get to this stage. During the pregnancy though my job (which I love) has been a little unstable. There have been discussions about expanding my department by adding another team to it. I really want this to happen and I've basically been pushing for this for six months. It's now all agreed but hasn't been announced officially.

It should be announced in the next fortnight though the organisation isn't brilliant at getting things done on time. I'm wondering if I can really wait to tell people I'm pregnant until then. I'm worried that if I say anything before then, the whole thing could be postponed or just not happen and after advocating this for 6 months I would really hate to go back to square one. There are some bullying issues to tackle in the new team that were being left to fester and I really want to sort them out so no-one else suffers.

I don't think anyone has guessed so far. I've been extremely careful in what I wear to work. But it's hard to be 100% sure. I was thinking I could explain to my boss I was worried about saying something earlier given my previous miscarriage, which is also a factor.

So am I bonkers to think I can keep this quiet until 19/20 weeks? Would really appreciate some advice - I'm naturally a very open person so I'm finding keeping this quiet very hard indeed.

Thank you anyone who has advice and good luck to everyone with their pregnancies. It's not easy!

onemoremummy Fri 27-May-16 21:55:42

I kept my first quiet until 20 weeks (wanted to make sure my rating / bonus had been decided before they knew), it was fine. Had to wear some baggy tops towards the end, but I was never super slim so I don't think many people guessed (a couple did ask though, but my boss was very surprised).

Having said that, people probably think I'm pregnant now (stupid baby weight!)

Stretchedfortime Fri 27-May-16 22:08:38

Thank you onemoremummy. I'm a 16-18 usually so hopefully for once that is on my side. And haven't put on any weight yet. Really appreciate your reply - have a great long weekend.

onemoremummy Fri 27-May-16 22:14:50

Also, if your boss is a male / doesn't have children, it might be that they don't even know how many weeks a pregnancy lasts for or when people usually tell at work, I really don't think mine did!

Stretchedfortime Fri 27-May-16 22:23:23

Good point though in my case he has many children. So don't think that will work for me sadly. I did almost blow my cover by writing with a Pregnacare pen at work a couple of weeks back. But luckily I noticed before going into a meeting and binned it!

guineapig1 Fri 27-May-16 22:24:13

Definitely hold off! I hid both pregnancies until 20 weeks with a colourful array of bright scarves and waterfall cardis. I doubt anyone would actually ask so brazen it out :-)

Stretchedfortime Fri 27-May-16 22:43:55

Thanks guineapig1. I have been using waterfall cardis a lot. But may get some scarves too to be sure. Thanks for responding-good to know it's possible.

guineapig1 Fri 27-May-16 22:48:50

Yes go for it. If they ask you (and I bet it will be colleagues rather than management) , you don't have to deny as such... Just look mildly offended and mutter about unflattering outfits and having eaten too much on holiday/thinking about joining a gym or running a 10k... Soon puts people off the scent!

MrsMKJ Sat 28-May-16 00:05:36

You can definately get away with it! I'm almost 21 weeks and think I could get away with it for another few weeks if I tried hard enough! I had a real word with myself about this very dilemma a couple of weeks ag

MrsMKJ Sat 28-May-16 00:08:17

Sorry! My post (rant) wasn't finished!! Anyway, we shouldn't feel pressure to tell anyone until we are good and ready. It's not anyone's business (until about 25weeks when most contracts will stipulate you have to declare it). Don't let the paranoia that people are guessing get to you. Do what suits you and what makes you comfortable. Good luck with the team merging, and of course the pregnancy! wink

Junosmum Sat 28-May-16 10:49:01

I 'announced' at 17 weeks people were totally shocked and hadn't guessed at all. I could easily have kept it hidden another few weeks - baggy tops, layers etc.

Nousername2015 Sat 28-May-16 11:37:16

I told the office at 23 weeks. A rumour had started circulating at that point so I don't think I could have left it any longer but I'm pleased I managed to make it to then. Baggy tops are your friend!

Stretchedfortime Sat 28-May-16 11:40:55

Thank you everyone. That's very reassuring to hear.

MrsMKJ - that's a good motto. We should do what's right for us.

Nousername2015 - I think I'll make 22 weeks my absolute deadline.

Junosmum - I will stick to the baggy tops. I've been surprised by how much difference different outfits make.

Thanks again. You've really helped put my mind at rest.

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