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Well, I've completely ballsed up its first month!

(27 Posts)
Cynthesizer Wed 25-May-16 19:04:54

Today I found myself looking at the most positive-positive pregnancy test I think you can get, short of a guest appearance by an annunciating angel. This fetus is exactly 25 days old, it is a complete surprise, it somehow made its way into existence across contraception... and its first 25 days have been Fucked Up.

It started its first week of existence bathed in lead paint chipping as its parents tackled the renovation of an old house. Although I wore a mask, gloves, etc, this is very much not recommended in the pregnancy websites. It also experienced quite a lot of solvent exposure with nearly every brand of paints and paint thinners that has a big scary label on it. Oven cleaner, nitromors - if it had a scary label, this fetus has had it all.

In its 25 days of existence I got drunk twice, drank unreasonable amounts of coffee and ate a lot of undercooked soybeans (long story). if there is anything you are most definitely NOT supposed to do in the first trimester, I did it. Twice. My husband and I were even joking "it's a good thing we're not pregnant" as we read the warning labels on chemicals.

Just to ice the cake of regrets I walked straight into a bollard on the street while talking to a friend and have a perfect bollard shaped bruise right over my stomach, having been punched poisoned and drunk it's frankly a miracle this poor fetus has any energy left to come up positive on a test, but I missed a period and here it is, a great big blue plus sign.

Now, it's a big surprise but I'm feeling pragmatic about it. Since I've been doing everything as wrong as possible, it might miscarry. Depending on how frazzled the poor thing is it by its traumatic three weeks it might even have to be terminated. But I'm also thinking about this logically and I'd like to do what's best for it. The poor thing is clearly a trouper.

Surely other parents have fucked up their first months? I can't be alone in this, surely?? Help me, Mumsnet... all the mums I know had complicated conception journeys involving IVF or emotional struggle as they tried so hard to get their baby, and then they became these perfect shining Mummy types who didn't eat soft cheese for nine months. And here is my soft-cheese-gobbling self with a fetus, asking for reassurance that I might not have COMPLETELY fucked it up. But I mean we all got here somehow right??

I should book in some kind of viability scan, shouldn't I? Are the doctors just going to scold me? I'd like to be a bit prepared for it if so...

blowmybarnacles Wed 25-May-16 19:07:57

I don't think its connected to you for the first three weeks, then it beds down, so I wouldn't worry too much.

Cynthesizer Wed 25-May-16 19:08:01

(I should add, I've lurked here long enough to know that not too much of Mumsnet is of the perfect shining mummy type, which is why I'm here and not on Netmums... Yes I know I should have magically intuited the fetus's presence and eaten only lentils and folio acid for the past four months... But I didn't!!)

BadDoGooder Wed 25-May-16 19:12:01

Please don't worry!
I got pg accidentally while taking the pill.
I won't tell you all the things I did the first 8weeks or so of pregnancy, MN would have me lynched!! shock grin

I drank a lot (it was over festival/holiday season), smoked, ate terribly bad food and more I can't even remember!

I had no idea I was pg until much later, immediately stopped everything (obviously!) and DS is currently an incredibly healthy 4year old with no issues whatsoever.

Congratulations! flowers

LumpishAndIllogical Wed 25-May-16 19:20:47

Your womb is still in your pelvis until 12 weeks so bumping your stomach definitely won't have an effect. And lots of people get drunk before they find out, and guzzle coffee!

I think you may be overreacting to some of the other stuff. Pregnancy is counted from first day of previous period but in reality you don't conceive until 2 weeks after that, or later. So by the time you take test you might only have had the cells developing for 2 weeks or less but be counted as 4 weeks pregnant!

Speak to your GP if you are concerned tho! They can advise on this stuff. Particularly regarding what a scan could tell you etc.

TheCrumpettyTree Wed 25-May-16 19:28:49

I got pregnant on holiday, drank every night, ate unpasteurised cheese, pink meat, you name it. I ate everything I shouldn't. Found out I was pregnant about a week later. My baby is now a 4 year old!

bumpingalong9386 Wed 25-May-16 19:31:37

I got pregnant over Xmas & new year (whilst on contraception)

I carried on taking my pill until I was about 10-11 weeks. We had been out numerous times getting drunk, went on holiday and did dune buggying, went on all the water parks, are rare steak and ate Brie / Camembert.

I even had the dreaded lurgy so dosed myself up with cold & flu products and downed 2 bottles of prosecco the weekend before we found out we were expecting....

Bump is now 22 weeks and doing just fine so don't worry yourself! These things happen!

iwouldgoouttonight Wed 25-May-16 19:32:46

I would think the majority of women drink, smoke, fall over, etc before they know they're pregnant even if they're TTC. It's hard not to worry (I had a fixation on my baby having club foot for some completely inexplicable reason when I was pregnant) but I would really doubt you've done the baby any harm. Me and DP decorated our whole house when I was pregnant, including sanding 1930s paint which was likely to have lead in.

MyUsernameDoesntHaveNumbers Wed 25-May-16 19:34:38

I found out I was 6wks pregnant after two weeks hard partying in ibiza. Drunk every night, ate a terrible diet and spent most of my time in a drunken state.
Baby born perfectly healthy.

Muddlingthroughtoo Wed 25-May-16 19:37:16

You can't be held accountable for what you did/ate for the time when you didn't realise you were pregnant. Make sure the rest of your pregnancy you make sure you do your best for a healthy baby, then you'll have nothing to feel bad about. Think of all those mums who don't realise their pregnant until the baby is born not sure how that's possible and end up with healthy little babes.

Tinklypoo Wed 25-May-16 19:37:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatsername17 Wed 25-May-16 19:42:28

I agree with everyone else: you need to relax! In the first couple of weeks the baby doesn't take anything from you. The placenta doesn't kick in until week 10. Stop drinking/decorating/walking in to things from now on. grin

AgeOfEarthquakes Wed 25-May-16 19:42:58

Babies are tough. Ladies are tough too. There are women all over the world getting on with life, being pregnant and giving birth to very healthy babies in far worse conditions.

^This. Please don't worry. I got pg by accident with DD1. I was on the pill and it took me quite a long time to realise. I drank like a fish, took prescription drugs, painted a fence with creosote and gloss painted every door in my house.

My baby was fine and yours will be too. Be sensible from now on and buy some folic acid if you're not already taking it!

Good luck with it all OP. And congrats!

LaContessaDiPlump Wed 25-May-16 19:47:09

took all the decongestant womb-drying medicine you can think of for a mega-heavy cold in his first week.
flew to a 3rd-world country and ate their food
had a dental X-ray
took painkillers, probably
worked in a cancer research lab with 'lots of cytotoxics' (thanks safety officer) hmm

had a cervical smear at 4 days
drank everything in reach at 12 days
cleaned the bathroom with heavy-duty cleaners at 3 weeks

They are both fine DS1 is ginger though grin

Lules Wed 25-May-16 19:53:20

I got incredibly drunk a few days before I found out I was pregnant and it was all fine. Ironically I hadn't been drinking that much for the previous year of TTC but I was due to start Clomid with the next cycle and so thought the chances of me getting pregnant naturally were pretty none existent!

Flisspaps Wed 25-May-16 19:53:21

Both of my +ve tests came after I wondered why my horrendous hangover was lingering for several days. Don't worry about it!

Zoomtothespoon Wed 25-May-16 20:07:32

I was on a medically clinical trial when I accidentally fell pregnant with my son. I was objecting Interferon alpha (I think) into my stomach weekly and had around 5 doses- my perfect not so little lad is nearly 7! Those first few weeks should be fine x

Zoomtothespoon Wed 25-May-16 20:07:58

Jesus wept- spell check what are you playing at?!

Schmoochypoos Wed 25-May-16 20:08:07

I found out I was pregnant at 9 weeks, I was still taking the contraceptive pill, had been skiing over new year and got horribly drunk as well as falling over a lot skiing! I ate all sorts of strange cheeses, rare steak and lots of red wine. My son is a very healthy and bright 2 year old now. Try not to worry

allegretto Wed 25-May-16 20:10:13

I had a long operation under general anaesethic, was given loads of drugs (legal ones!) which I was later told were incompatible with pregnancy and also had five x-rays. DS turned out fine! In fact, he is super-intelligent and never gets ill - maybe all those extra rays gave him superpowers wink

CupidsArrows Wed 25-May-16 20:11:10

I ate alot of soft cheese, was outrageously drunk the night before I found out, smoked.

Had a very healthy baby at scan on Monday. Don't stress it.

123rd Wed 25-May-16 20:11:33

I fell up some stairs because I was soooo drunk ( a week before finding out I was preggers) didn't even think that really three drinks should not have had that effect on me. I managed to get pissed the second time round too. Both dc turned out fine wink

gryffindorwannabe Wed 25-May-16 20:25:43

I have another horror story. I was 6 weeks pregnant when I found out, during that time I had 3 hen do's, another 2 big drunken nights out, regular sun beds, a wedding with lots of champagne and a VERY drunken 5 day honeymoon to Vegas, all eating whatever I wanted.
When I found out I was pg I was horrified, and my mum made a 'joke' that the baby would come out pickled blush
Thankfully baby was born with no problems at all, and is now a very healthy 2 year old.
Don't beat yourself up about it. You can't help what happened when you didn't know you were pregnant and I'm sure all will be fine.

Cynthesizer Wed 25-May-16 20:29:03

Oh Christ!!!! I should go off the Pill! WHAT were you PLAYING at, Pill?!

Cynthesizer Wed 25-May-16 22:39:22

Babies are tough. Ladies are tough too. There are women all over the world getting on with life, being pregnant and giving birth to very healthy babies in far worse conditions.

Oh my, this really resonated with me. It's what I KNOW to be true - it HAS to be!!! - but considering that all the mums I know did this, like, extended Pregnancy Olympics thing before even conceiving, I just feel like I am a BUCKET OF FESTERING SINS who is fermenting a SIX LEGGED GOAT BABY.

Thanks everyone for all of this, I'll have to read it through again properly to really appreciate it but I am very grateful (and thanks for being the first people to offer congratulations!)

I wish this kind of information was more widely available though I do understand that the pressure on people to do everything perfectly is meant to ensure the continuation of the species. But it doesn't seem to take into account how humans actually live their lives so I do appreciate hearing some actual mums! I also think the culture of perfect mummies means that even if they fucked up their first weeks too a lot of people won't admit it!

Even if nothing comes of the baby it will be very hard on me not to "blame myself" too much (I didn't even know you were there, fetus!!! You're being unreasonable!) so it's good to have that validation.

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