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Pregnant at 43.

8 replies

Whatabanana · 07/05/2016 10:39

Complete shock, youngest is now 12. My husband is older than me and not particularly happy about the idea. I wouldn't have chosen it either but am not keen to go through with the alternative. Feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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ElspethFlashman · 07/05/2016 10:44

My mate was 43. Her kid was 10, turning 11.

It's safe to say they were thoroughly depressed for several months. The stress was unbearable. They were kinda horrified, tbh. But like you, couldn't contemplate the alternative.

Then they had their gender scan and after that their attitude completely turned around as now it was "real" and they could visualise it.

Kid is now a toddler and a right laugh. This baby has brought a lot of fun into their lives. Hang in there.

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Whatabanana · 07/05/2016 11:02

Oh thank you, I can imagine that happening. I just don't know if my husband will come round to it, I don't want him to be resentful. I hope he can.

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ElspethFlashman · 07/05/2016 11:17

Well he was so negative that at one point she kicked him out and he slept on our sofa for a weekend! But tbh I think there were two of them in it as she was pretty highly strung at the time by her own admission.

The weekend off did them both good tbh as "the baby" had taken up every available thought and all of them were worrisome. They were basket cases about abnormalities too.

So it was bumpy but like I said, the scan changed everything.

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Whatabanana · 07/05/2016 11:27

Yes, abnormalities are a big worry. Plus husband retiring before child would be grown up. Weird how in one moment everything is suddenly thrown upside down. I guess I am not certain it's the right thing to do so I don't want to have to persuade him, I want him to just be OK with it for himself.

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Marquand · 10/05/2016 07:46

I'm 43 and pregnant with no 3. The other two are 6 and 3, so we started late. Not planned, but not unplanned either.

It's a rough ride but I'm sure it will be worth it.

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Whatabanana · 10/05/2016 08:07

Thank you, he has accepted my decision because it's my body, hopefully it will be OK and there won't be any resentment. I won't tell my children until we get a bit further along-pretty sure one will be thrilled and one horrified!

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Northernlurker · 10/05/2016 08:12

I think a man who says honestly this isn't what he wanted but it's your body and he respects your choice is a good and decent person and good and decent people make good parents.
I think it's often hard for men to enthuse about a pregnancy even in ideal circumstances because it's just not as real for them as it is for us. But when the baby arrives it's another ballgame Good luck OP

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Whatabanana · 10/05/2016 08:22

Thank you northern, I agree absolutely! We have had some ups and downs lately but this has restored my faith in him.