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really need help! only male on mumsnet haha!

(27 Posts)
CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 22:33:23

Im a wanna be dad, only male on here! Haha, my partner and I have been trying to conceive she's been off the depo since last September we are trying so hard we've tried Agnus cactus, another one from Holland and Barrett's in a red pot can't remember the name they ain't doing a lot! Although she's had slight spotting and really deep red brown colour blood nothing regular can any help? We are so desperate, and could someone please let me know what opks are?

VimFuego101 Mon 02-May-16 22:39:45

Opk = ovulation predictor kit. You dip them in pee and they indicate when your hormones surge just prior to ovulation.

How long are your partner's cycles? A 'normal' cycle starts on day 1 (first day of period) and lasts about 28-30 days, you would normally expect to get a positive opk on around day 14.

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 22:42:50

She doesn't bleed a lot! There isn't really a cycle to be honest! Just here and there for a day or two at a time she hasn't had much bright red blood it's mostly been really dark!

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Mon 02-May-16 22:51:15

It took me two years to get my periods back after I came off the depo.

Vap0 Mon 02-May-16 22:53:18

Hi calvin
Sorry to give a bad story but it took me 28 months to get pregnant after the depo. Well, I had 2 mc at 24 and 27 months, I think my body still just wasn't ready.
There are plenty of ladies out there who get caught sooner though.
It sounds good that she is having some form of period as I had nothing for a year after stopping so hopefully that means it won't take her as long to get back to normal.
There is nothing you can really do to get it out of her system. I tried agnus cactus and told my infertility dr I had and he was very unimpressed and sent me away for another 3 months because I had told him about taking it.
P.s. Opk's don't work for everyone, I think I've only had about 2 positives in all that time trying although I don't think I was ovulating for most of the time. Also, I didn't get a positive the month we conceived. They seem to work for most people but for me if anything they just stressed me out.

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 22:54:00

Was that just naturally? Or was you taking tablets?

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 22:57:47

Vap0 thanks, hear so many different stories, just I feel like, we are trying so hard as I seen on one of these forums that you can ovulate with out a period! We've tried Agnus cactus and there's another one can't remember what it's called think it begins with m! Just wondering if you heard of any others as we are so desperate!

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 22:58:58

Was that just naturally? Or was you taking tablets? Peaceloveandjaffacakes

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Mon 02-May-16 23:05:26

I didn't take anything, but I wasn't trying to conceive. It just took that long for my periods to return.

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Mon 02-May-16 23:05:52

Also you're definitely not the only male on mumsnet.

Seeyounearertime Mon 02-May-16 23:06:14

depo since last September

Was that September 2015? Or 2014?

It can take a very long time to et things back in order. How long was she on depo before that?

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 23:09:25

Umm a good few years September 2015! I'm the only male that can't use it haha, I'm new please be patient haha

kiki22 Mon 02-May-16 23:11:50

It took me from Sept 2014 to Sept 15 to get a proper period but I was pregnant by Nov so didn't take long after. Bst thing to do is stop trying so hard, I decided to give the baby making a rest in Aug 15 so it clearly helped not to stress

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 23:17:44

Kiki22 so after you're period you caught 2 months later?did you take any tablets? Know of any we can try?

Seeyounearertime Mon 02-May-16 23:17:51

I think, and I'm sure someone will correct me, but don't they say it takes 12 months or so for periods to become normal after last depo injection?

Best thing to suggest is to not get to pressured yet. If you're under say 40? then take your time, there's no rush, have sex every other day for a few months, make sure it stays fun and doesn't become a chore. If you have no news by Xmas then it'll be time for tests etc. Ovulation kits can be done though of you desire. This is what me and my GF are currently trying to do. She came off the pill in November though so we're just rolling with it and having sex when we fancy it.

Good luck to you both I say.

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 23:21:01

There's so many stories from straight away to 3 years! We don't have it as a chore it's just 2-3 a week! It's just getting so frustrating, thanks for the advice another wanna be dad thought it was just me haha! Thanks good luck to you both too!!

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Mon 02-May-16 23:34:07

These things can take time even without the added extra of the depo. Just try to relax.

VimFuego101 Mon 02-May-16 23:36:36

Did she have more normal periods before she got the depo? I've heard lots of people say they only had spotting/ light periods for a while after getting removed, it sounds like it takes a while for your body to get back to normal afterwards.

CalvinLee Mon 02-May-16 23:53:41

I'm not sure she was having it before we got together I assume so because she says she hated them before! Yeah time will tell, just getting impatience as soon as we get a bit of blood we get all excited but it never lasts, do you know why the blood is so dark almost brown? Anyone?

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Tue 03-May-16 00:00:12

It's old blood.

CalvinLee Tue 03-May-16 00:03:24

Ah even though she's been on the depo for many years? But she's having spotting of fresh bright red blood too!

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes Tue 03-May-16 00:09:04

Have a read of this.
It's all normal.

CalvinLee Tue 03-May-16 00:14:31

Thank you that's a good help for future I can tell her now! I was worrying a lot over the darkness I still want to know if there's any other natural pills or remedies that can help us along! Please!!!

kiki22 Tue 03-May-16 00:16:01

The only thing I done was give up actively trying we just stopped worrying about it, I had a random spotting from mayish then a proper period Sept, Oct, Nov then none in December took me til 3 weeks late to realise because they had been so random I thought it was just not settled yet. Honestly stress is the worst thing you can do just stop marking period dates and stop worrying about making it happen and most likely it will.

CalvinLee Tue 03-May-16 00:21:06

Yeah that's the thing we don't know what's happening! Is it a good sign all the old brown blood is coming out? Obviously the spotting of bright red blood means she must be ovulating! What other reason could the blood be? I know it's just I'm so impatiant all I've ever wanted is my little Jacobi or esmé haha.! No I'm 27 this year and found the one I truly love weddings and babies is all I can think about! We are trying not to talk about it as much now! Having less sex!

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