3rd pregnancy...scared 😢

[dustytv84]

Hi, I'm new here, just after some impartial advice! I've recently found out I'm expecting for the 3rd time, completely unplanned..I was on day 17 of my cycle and we have been using the timing method so as far as I was aware we were well past the risky area! Apparently not.. My girls are 3 and 2 at the moment and I've found it so hard, I'm a stay at home Mum, we have no family nearby to help with childcare and to be honest I have found it a struggle, I miss work and have felt pretty isolated most of the time. The youngest has just started pre school so I was looking forward to maybe looking for a job soon to feel a bit more "normal!" I am so worried how I will manage, if it is fair on the girls, if it is fair on the baby... If I'll ever have a life again?! I feel really trapped at the moment.. Sorry I haven't really asked a proper question but would just be nice to have some advice! Thank you

[Zoe475]

Hi hun I know it's bit scarey.I'm 34 weeks pregnant with my 3rd girl.I didn't think I could have any more it changed my life around I'm in middle of moving baby's heads engaged.I think we learn to cope hun.I'm on my own to don't see no one live in sticks know how you feel but we are strong hun do are best for are kids I have my 9 year old at home I worry think it's naturally to worry hun.try not to so much.xxxx

[Albri]

Hi Dusty,

I'm 40 and I found out 3 weeks ago I'm pregnant and I feel past having kids. I have 2 beautiful girls age 4 and 6 who are both at school and our house is pretty civilised and my relationship with my husband is good (it wasn't when they were babies). We are out of the baby/toddler stage and we weren't planning on going back to this.

We did consider having a third but I think it was more me not wanting to admit the baby years were over - deep down I didn't want to go back to that.

I am worried about the physical side (I had SPD, sciatica, morning sickness, antenatal depression and my teeth and gums also really suffered). I am worried about my mental health - I found the first 2 years so stressful and I suffered mild depression. I do not cope well with lack of sleep. My relationship with my husband suffered. I am worried about the financial side - the cost of childcare, bigger car, possibly having to move, holidays etc. I am worried about the social side - everyone I know is done having babies and I would find telling my work, my parents and certain friends (with fertility problems) difficult.

And also the unknowns, what if the pregnancy/birth doesn't go well, what if I have a difficult baby or there are problems.

There is a long list of reasons NOT to but obviously I would feel so guilty if I didn't continue with the pregnancy. We have a loving household and we would somehow make it work. I am 50/50 as to what to do - I switch from one side to the next.

Anyway, I wanted to say that I think it's really normal to feel scared and anxious, especially when it's unplanned and you weren't intending on having that many kids. I'm sure it will get better throughout the pregnancy.

For me it all feels a bit to much to bear.

[Zoomtothespoon]

Hey op!

I am also pregnant with my third and quite nervous this time. I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old.

I look at my 6 year old now and he is sooo EASY and he is SIX... He's been at school full time for 3 years and they have flow.

My point is that the hard bit doesn't last forever, they will all be packed off at school full time before you know it and you will wonder where the time has gone!