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Can I please just share?

(44 Posts)
Thelittleredhead Mon 25-Apr-16 12:44:00

I had my NT test today at 13 weeks exactly. My baby is developing well, is the right size, has a nice strong quick heartbeat and was wriggling around. My Trisomy 21 risk came back as 1:1800, which the doctor tells me is very low risk. He was really pleased with all the results and told me everything looks good and healthy. I saw loads of different angles in 3D and 2D up on a big TV on the wall, and even got a little wave (well, as much as a 13 W old foetus can wave..!)

I just wanted to share. My baby's father is my ex and he's really, really unhappy about this pregnancy, he can't see anything but the negative, he says his life is ruined, I've taken his future away from him, etc. I'm trying to be excited but he brings that down every chance he gets. So, I sat alone in the waiting room, surrounded by happy looking couples, and I cried. I cried when I saw the baby in 3D up on the screen and there was no-one to be excited about it with. And I cried when I came out and the only person I had to tell was my mum, because my ex doesn't want to know and he's 'forbidden' me from telling any friends that I'm pregnant before he has told his parents and his OW, so I can't talk to anyone else about this.

So...I thought I'd tell you lovely lot, and maybe you can be excited about it for me and help me feel happy about it rather than just miserable and totally alone.

C'mon MN-ers - show me what you're made of smile

Dixiechick17 Mon 25-Apr-16 12:49:05

Congratulations!!! That's great that the scan went well and the results are all good.

Personally giving his attitude I don't think he has a right to tell you who you can and can't tell. Sounds like a right piece of work!

Hope you have an amazing rest of your pregnancy smile

FuzzyOwl Mon 25-Apr-16 12:52:35

Congratulations and I am so pleased your scan went well. Maybe try to stop focusing on what your ex is missing out on; enjoy how exciting it is and don't let him bring you down.

Really hope everything else goes well for the rest of your pregnancy. smile

BeauticianNotMagician81 Mon 25-Apr-16 13:05:51

Congratulations. To put a different spin on it I was with my cheating, violent, waste of space ex when I had my first two children. I don't think I fully enjoyed my children until I left him. Better to be alone & happy than in a relationship & miserable.

Enjoy your pregnancy. Pamper yourself, go on a holiday with your girlfriends, treat yourself. Tell whoever the hell you want and let him get on with it. I wouldn't pay attention to anything he wants. How exciting your having a baby. Enjoy every second of it my lovely.

leoniethelioness Mon 25-Apr-16 13:07:21

Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy. You will find lots of support in the antenatal club threads on here too.

superking Mon 25-Apr-16 13:09:08

I'm so glad it all went well, I don't even know you but had a smile on my face reading about your healthy little wriggler smile

Don't let your ex suck all the joy out of your pregnancy. You and your baby are what matters.

BeauticianNotMagician81 Mon 25-Apr-16 13:10:01

I was just going to add join one of the ante natal clubs for the month you are due. It's lovely to share it with others. I'm currently pregnant with number 4.

TheCrumpettyTree Mon 25-Apr-16 13:29:49

He has no right tell dictate who you tell. You tell whoever you like.

KnitsBakesAndReads Mon 25-Apr-16 13:42:37

Congratulations on your pregnancy! The dating scan is such an exciting time, for me it was when it all started to feel real and I could let myself get excited about having a baby.

Make sure you take time to enjoy your pregnancy. Things like taking bump photos, talking to my baby, listening to a pregnancy relaxation meditation and rubbing moisturiser or massage oil into my bump are all things that helped me feel excited about my pregnancy and able to start bonding with my baby.

And I agree with those who have said it's not up to your ex who you tell about your pregnancy and when.

Congratulations again!

LittleLionMansMummy Mon 25-Apr-16 13:50:03

It's a wonderful and beautiful thing op, congratulations! You say you could 'only' tell your mum but don't underestimate how special that is. She's the closest person in your life who knows what it feels like to become a mum, that's very special and worth holding onto when you feel down or lonely. You're absolutely not alone.

As for your ex, I'd be inclined to tell him to get stuffed and tell whoever you like. He has no right over you whatsoever.

albertcampionscat Mon 25-Apr-16 13:52:26

Congratulations.

And tell who you like. Actually, this is a rare case where a splashy facebook post complete with scan pic, due date and smile is perfectly appropriate.

Thelittleredhead Mon 25-Apr-16 14:54:13

Ah, thanks everyone smile. It does make me feel better having people I don't even know behind me!

I know it's not his place to say who I can and can't tell, but honestly my life is difficult enough as it is, at the moment we are mroe or less keeping the peace, and I don't want to do anything to ruin that!

amysmummy12345 Mon 25-Apr-16 14:57:07

He's your ex, has no right to say who you can and can't tell!! Congratulations, wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!! Xxx

BirthdayBetty Mon 25-Apr-16 15:00:27

Congratulations op flowers
Frankly he can go and fuck himself, he has no right to dictate to you, as pp have rightly stated. You tell who you like when you like.

LeonoraFlorence Mon 25-Apr-16 15:04:31

Congratulations! Your post took me right back to my last dating scan (with DD4). Enjoy every moment! Having your mum to share with is lovely. My own parents love sharing in my daughters lives, it's truly magical to see their developing relationships flowers.

LilyTP Mon 25-Apr-16 15:24:05

Hooray for you and for your baby! I'm so pleased that the scan went well - it's so scary beforehand isn't it? And then so emotional when you see the little beasty moving around in there safe and well.

Many congratulations!

(and damn him to hell, he's not worth a second of your time).

kiki22 Mon 25-Apr-16 16:19:41

Congratulatoons!!! Tell the world don't let him ruin it for you it's a wonderful time

ProbablyMe Mon 25-Apr-16 16:26:40

Congratulations!! I'm sorry you're feeling so sad thanks did you get any pictures from your scan?

Please don't let your ex dictate who you can and can't share your news with - he sounds like a complete waste of air. Maybe tell a close friend or two first for support until you feel ready to shout it from the rooftops?

MollyBloomYes Mon 25-Apr-16 16:36:10

Congratulations! It's so exciting and such a relief isn't it?!

My ex left me four weeks before our second child was born. I know exactly what you mean about other happy couples in the hospital, waiting to go down to my ELCS and fighting back tears was not how I wanted things to go.
However, my children and I are an incredible team, the bond is amazing. My mum was there for dc2's birth which she felt was the most wonderful privilege and was incredibly special. Could your mum come with you to your next scan? Attend nct classes (or similar) with you? Or perhaps a close friend? You shouldn't be excited on your own just because your ex is a wanker.

thanks for you, what a lovely scan result. Here's to many more exciting moments!

Syrine Mon 25-Apr-16 17:29:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

firawla Mon 25-Apr-16 18:08:32

Congratulations! That's lovely scan news, how exciting! I would ignore dh and tell a few friends and family if you like - it's not up to him plus you're 13 weeks you'll be showing soon enough anyway! Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy flowers

Frazzled2207 Mon 25-Apr-16 18:12:38

Congratulations, lovely news.
You tell who you like, your xp has no right to dictate.

theveryhighlife Mon 25-Apr-16 19:49:24

Congratulations! I was in a similar situation as yourself almost 10 years ago, so I can understand the hurt.
Keep strong for yourself and your little one and be kind to yourself. I wish I'd been kinder to myself. It does get easier!! thanks

theveryhighlife Mon 25-Apr-16 19:49:32

Congratulations! I was in a similar situation as yourself almost 10 years ago, so I can understand the hurt.
Keep strong for yourself and your little one and be kind to yourself. I wish I'd been kinder to myself. It does get easier!! thanks

cnchapmanxx Mon 25-Apr-16 20:36:14

Congratulations Hun!
I hope you have a lovely pregnancy and this baby brings you a whole new meaning of love! To a happy and healthy 9 months thanksxxx

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