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When to announce.

(21 Posts)
LoraLou1211 Sat 16-Apr-16 08:28:49

Hi just wondering when people decided to announce their pregnancy to family and friends. Is it better to wait until after 12 weeks? Currently only about 5 weeks now but it's so hard to keep it a secret as we've been ttc now for a year. I have a 4 year old daughter and we told people almost straight away with her but looking back I think maybe that was a bit foolish. Opinions please. smile

KittyandTeal Sat 16-Apr-16 08:35:54

I am now of the opinion that it really makes not one jot of difference when you tell people tbh.

I've always waited until after 12 weeks and it's made no difference, dd1 healthy pregnancy, dd2 died at 22 weeks, ds died at 14 weeks.

What I was glad of was that I'd told people so they could be around to support me.

Sorry to be a bit of a downer but I guess one of the things to think about is who you want to know if they're worst happens.

Congratulations on your pregnancy 💐

superwormissuperstrong Sat 16-Apr-16 08:36:29

there is no 'right' answer - because people are individual.
First time around I was working and sick as a dog at about 8 weeks - so I was asked by colleagues and I didn't particularly want to lie.
Second time around I was super excited as we'd been trying for about 6 months and was happy to tell close family and was feeling even more sick this time so useful to have their support.
As I understand - lots leave it till after the first scan so they know that all is ok - but the truth is if I had a miscarriage I would be devastated and would want the support of my close family.
I tend not to announce pregnancies e.g. facebook, rather tell people as and when I see them or talk to them as its not my style to be like that on facebook. Will do a baby pic when safely delivered and snuggled in our arms...

Chinks123 Sat 16-Apr-16 08:42:47

It's up to you, I've seen people announce at 5 weeks on Facebook which I personally wouldn't do but it's personal choice. I announced to 2 close friends, and OH, as soon as I found out. It's a long story so I won't bore you but basically I was young, scared and so some people found out straight away. (My mum at 8 weeks by opening my mail blush) but I didn't tell Facebook until 20 weeks, after our sexing scan, we put it on because we were so excited and wanted to just tell everyone smile Congratulations!

VocationalGoat Sat 16-Apr-16 08:42:49

Congratulations! I remember with DC1- many moons ago- I told people the moment I found out. Fast forward 14 years later to DC4 and I didn't tell anyone until 20 weeks. Both times were 'right'' times, based on experiences or lack off, etc.

I'd always suggest waiting until after 12 weeks or after your first scan. But that's me now and it's not what I did with DC1.
Best of luck! flowers

VocationalGoat Sat 16-Apr-16 08:49:57

"Sexing" scan is an anomaly scan.
The 20 week anomaly scan is not about gender by the way, which is why it's never called a sexing scan. It's to make sure everything is forming/functioning properly. They are ruling out soft markers, spina bifida, etc. The gender aspect of the scan is for parents.
Please don't call it a sexing scan. grin

Joinourclub Sat 16-Apr-16 08:58:26

I waited until 12 weeks because it was nice to have some time when just me and my husband knew. Our lovely little secret. And we needed time to adjust to the news ourselves before others found out. Second time around I waited too, because I knew that 9 months is a very long time to be pregnant and to be constantly asked 'how is bump?'. I don't like a lot of fuss, I'd have waited even longer than 12 weeks if I could have, but I think family would have been offended.

MoggyP Sat 16-Apr-16 09:03:51

It is particularly tactless, in the 'choices' topic (which is where this thread currently is) to talk about a 'sexing' scan, as this is the forum for terminations of pregnancy including TFMR. And often the need for TFMR is discovered at a scan.

It's pretty off anywhere, tbh, but please not here in this topic.

LindorBunny Sat 16-Apr-16 09:05:45

You might want to have this thread moved. This board is for people considering termination.

Mishaps Sat 16-Apr-16 09:08:11

Congratulations to you and your family.

I always think there is nothing to be gained by waiting to tell people. Those who love you will want to be happy with you; and if the pregnancy did not stick then they will want to comfort you.

LoraLou1211 Sat 16-Apr-16 09:09:23

Thank you for the replies ladies. Experiencing a loss must be just awful so I can certainly see the point in telling a select few to have that support if the worst happened. On the other hand I do like it being our secret so maybe I'll tell only the very closest to me for now just because I'm itching to tell someone! smile

LindorBunny Sat 16-Apr-16 09:40:13

I've reported the thread as it should be moved and you didn't seem to notice the posts telling you this. In case you didn't know you can click on the report button yourself and ask for a thread to be moved.

murphyslaws Sat 16-Apr-16 09:44:56

I told at 8 weeks as I wanted support if it went wrong.

Next time I would do early for same reason.

chelle792 Sat 16-Apr-16 10:02:49

I guess op is thinking she has a make - whether to tell or not. I can see the logic.

I told early but didn't really announce. When I lost the baby at 11.5 I was glad of the support.

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 16-Apr-16 10:10:36

Hi there, we're going to move this over to our Pregnancy topic now, we think it's a better fit for this thread. smile

StarkyTheDirewolf Sat 16-Apr-16 11:20:32

I'm 8+2 and haven't told a soul. Other than Dh! He told his boss (as he wanted to come with me to the booking in appt and it was scheduled at the same time as a meeting. I want to wait until after the initial scan, and then ill see how I feel!

I'm too scared/anxious to be excited yet and it would upset my dsis beyond belief if we told her and then the worst happened. I couldn't do that to her. She lives with us at weekends so from Thursday-Sunday we don't speak about it at all in case we are accidentally overheard! Neither if us have facebook so we won't be doing any "public announcing" so to speak anyway!

It's different for everyone though, do what feels right for you!

Chinks123 Sat 16-Apr-16 14:24:05

I had no idea what topic it was in so I was not being tactless at all when replying I didn't realise, just saw the title.

VocationalGoat I called it a sexing scan because that's what it was, yes I had the 20 week anomaly scan and I know that is not about finding out the gender. I then later had a specific scan to reveal the gender and put it on Facebook then, hence why I used the term sexing.

LoraLou1211 Sat 16-Apr-16 14:38:49

I am new to this and I do apologise if I caused any offence by posting in the wrong place/topic. I just saw choices and thought this is what this is a choice one of many decisions we have to make while pregnant. I genuinely did not realise! MoggyP no need to be so rude!

Dixxie Sat 16-Apr-16 16:41:34

Hello, may I join this thread? I'm 5 weeks pregnant but having miscarried before and understanding the statistics, I don't want to get too carried away. Guess I'm protecting myself and my hubby... The way I see it, we have conceived and our egg is developing, and I'm looking after myself to give baby the best possible chance, but I won't consider myself truly pregnant until I'm more confident that the pregnancy is viable - say 8 weeks and after an early private scan to check my little bundle has a heartbeat and is developing on track. Even then we will try to keep it to close friends only until 12 weeks, and at that point I'll feel much so happier and we can start to enjoy the pregnancy smile

MoggyP Sat 16-Apr-16 17:41:37

Bereavement does sometimes lead to bluntness, and I do know it is inconvenient to others.

My gripe was with the terminology 'sexing' scan, not with the thread being in the wrong place. I doubt I would have posted at all had that comment not been there.

My apologies. I know I am not always in perfect control of myself, and I also know that MN is not a safe space, even though a I really wish bits of it were.

Chinks123 Sat 16-Apr-16 21:48:30

I only used the term sexing scan Moggy, because that's exactly what it was, a scan specifically to see the baby's gender no other reason, therefore it was a sexing scan. If you thought I was referring to 20 week anomaly I apologise and as I said already I had no idea what topic it was in just saw it on active and commented.

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