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Teaching, pregnant and emotional

(33 Posts)
User1288 Thu 14-Apr-16 20:52:58

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone else is a teacher on here? I am 11 weeks pregnant and have been quite emotional - or more specifically, easily annoyed and angered throughout my pregnancy. I have been trying very hard to surpress these emotions at work (secondary school) but did have a real outburst when a student misbehaved. I really let rip which I know is counterproductive and unprofessional. I found myself getting really wound up and not holding back. This resulted in shouting and really arguing with a student to the point where I made it so much worse. I know this is bad practice and it is unlike my normal approach. So I was wondering if anyone else felt like this and if you have had similar experiences/outbursts? Will I stop being so agitated at some point? Everything and everyone is winding me up at the moment and it's making me really upset. I know this sounds really self centred but I genuinely am finding it hard to control my emotions. I felt horrid after my aggressive confrontation with the student (the student was absolutely horrible and unteachable at the time but no excuse). Have pregnancy emotions made work life more difficult?

Belager Thu 14-Apr-16 21:12:19

Teacher here too, (22 weeks). I was exactly the same in my first trimester. It does get better!

I actually walked out and tried to quit at 7 weeks! I didn't know at the time it was most likely preg hormones.

flowers you'll get through this

mrsbee2be Thu 14-Apr-16 21:19:30

Yep sounds normal, Not a teacher myself but I have today praised my daughters teacher for coping with my child all day whilst pregnant, when I can't even manage an hour over tea & bed time!
I actually genuinely believe at the moment (13 weeks with no.4) that I don't even like children and my DH tries every evening to convince me that I do, it's going to be a long 6 months!

User1288 Thu 14-Apr-16 22:43:25

Belager - it is good to know I am not the only one. I actually behaved worse than the child and to make matters even worse teachers all emerged to figure out what the commotion was...it was mainly me by the end of it. I felt horrible for the student (we talked it through) and couldn't stop thinking that if my child was treated like that then I'd be so angry! I also feel so embarrassed. Other teachers looked at me like I'd lost it and to be fair I had. I can't get out of my head how much they are probably judging me and how pathetic I looked. I am actually tearing up writing about it...I can't gain any control over these emotions whatsoever.

Mrsbee2be your post has made me laugh after the tears which has now convinced me I am officially mad. It is good to know that this kind of emotion is normal though. Honestly, I hated it when teachers shouted as a kid so really try to avoid it but I just lost the plot on this occasion and now filled with guilt and embarrassment. No one knows why I am a hormonal cow at the moment as no one knows I am pregnant and even if they did, I can't let it be an excuse. This is my first pregnancy and heard about all the 'hormones' but just thought it was nonsense as I'm not usually overly emotional. More fool me.

Congratulations to you both and thanks for the support flowers

proudmom135 Thu 14-Apr-16 23:14:54

Hi, I'm a secondary teacher, too! The best thing to do is to ignore these students or it will boomerang to the baby. As long as the students are there and didn't do harmful stuffs, just don't mind them and continue with what you're doing.

Helbelle75 Fri 15-Apr-16 05:58:46

You're not on your own! I had a complete meltdown before Easter, had no idea why I was exhausted, thought it was the job and cried on many a shoulder. I had little patience with th kids and was a bit of a b*tch frankly.
Of course, I now know why.
i'm now 6 weeks and am able to control it more because I know what's causing it. I hope things get better for you. It will be so much easier as well when we can tell people.

ktkaye Fri 15-Apr-16 06:49:47

Another emotional wreck of a teacher here. I'm 8 weeks and work in primary. I had absolute rage yesterday because my planning sheet went missing and just generally feel like the whole world is against me and that I hate all children and should never have become a teacher. I don't mean it but I do at the time! I've lost count of the amount of times I've burst in to tears, mostly once I got home but one day I had to hide in my cupboard and cry - all because a lesson obs hadn't gone as planned. Dear me. Like you I'm not normally like this and my poor TA was very bewildered. She guessed though. To me it feels like extreme pmt. You aren't on your own. I do find that I'm worse if I'm tired too. It will pass (I'm told??!!!) x

fitzbilly Fri 15-Apr-16 06:54:43

I'm a teacher too and was shocked at how little patience I had in my first trimester! It does get better though, now I'm 17 weeks it's all a lot easier!

Wait4nothing Fri 15-Apr-16 06:58:25

I'm at the other end and getting a bit emotional again - luckily I teach little ones and they are lovely (most of the time) so my emotions (mostly crying although a bit snappy the other night) are taken out on my colleagues. Hormones definitely settled for most of 2nd/3rd trimester for me (from about 12 weeks - 36 weeks).
I finish next week and I'm really looking forward to it now!

shopaholic85 Fri 15-Apr-16 10:03:58

Another secondary teacher here. You're only human OP, and everyone has days like that, pregnant or not. It will all be forgotten by next week. When are you planning to tell work? I think it will be easier when people know so they can support you.

Is anyone else really struggling with the workload? I normally stay in school until 5/6pm and mark books, but have been too tired to this week and haven't had the energy to carry them home either. Which means I haven't marked anything all week blush

Helbelle75 Fri 15-Apr-16 13:04:59

I've had to come home today, I'm exhausted to the point of feeling dizzy. I think I'm going to have to tell them soon, particularly as I'm going to France with them in a few weeks.
It sounds daft but I really didn't realise the first few weeks of pregnancy would have such an impact on my body!

User1288 Fri 15-Apr-16 14:12:54

I am so glad I have a chance to share this with other teachers and be completely honest about this. Like some of you, I am not only very irritable but also exhuasted. Shopoholic- workload is another issue which I can normally deal with but my extreme tiredness is making everything seem a million times worse. I have 5 sets of A level essays to mark and haven't stayed up long enough to get anything done. I can't stay in school because I'm unproductive and just moody. I am also HOD which just adds to it all. For those further along, does the tirdness get worse?
Ktkaye I think I would cry at the thought of an observation right now! I hope it went OK in the end smile

I am planning to tell the head and my dept. next week after my 12 week scan because I am paranoid something is going to go wrong before then. I can't get negative thoughts out of my mind and don't want to have awkward conversations with people if things go wrong. Helbelle, I hope you feel better, it sounds like you need to go home. I can't imagine going on a trip right now so good luck! I guess these are all things all pregnant women go through but the nature of the job can make it feel lonely and very stressful - I am going to have to keep reminding myself how to behave normally for now!

Belager Fri 15-Apr-16 16:18:37

I'm more tired, but I'm having a rough pregnancy! Last term I couldn't mark though. my HOD was aware from quite early on, there's a v temperamental child that has attacked me in my class, and just assured me to do what I can.
Unfortunately we are all in the job where it's never enough!

User1288 Fri 15-Apr-16 20:51:14

Belager that is really bad, does that child have regular outbursts or was it a one off? It is great your hod sounds supportive, I don't really have anyone other than my line manager but there is not much point telling him as he doesn't get involved with my day to day as such. Anyway, not long until I can reveal all and hopefully everyone understands my moods a little more. Yeah it definitely is a job where it's never enough which makes it so much harder. It just feels like no other pregnant teacher around is having random meltdowns! Maybe as other posts have mentioned...it all calms down by the time people can see the bump! Shame most of the issues seem to be most severe when no one actually knows you are pregnant.

DrSausagedog Fri 15-Apr-16 21:26:39

It affects people in different ways. I felt so sick today and opened all the windows so I could (hopefully discreetly but probably not at all) keep standing near them and keep gulping down air to stop myself from throwing up. Poor kids must have been freezing!

Then after play I had to make a quick dash to the nearby girls toilets to throw up as adults toilets miles away. Thanks God there were no first in there or would have been humiliating.

Thankfully this afternoon was much better. I feel utterly exhausted this evening though, can't even be bothered to switch the TV on.

You will feel much better in the second trimester I'm sure.

DrSausagedog Fri 15-Apr-16 21:27:47

First=girls! Too tired to type!

Missingcaffeine Fri 15-Apr-16 21:45:57

I'm not a teacher, but a senior nurse and I had similar problems especially in the first trimester. I seriously don't know how secondary school teachers cope as I can only imagine how teenage kids must wind you up when hormonal!!
The exhaustion for most people is at it's worst before 12 weeks and then again in the final weeks. For me the hormones were intermittently an issue the whole way through, but always made much worse by exhaustion, so they were much easier to deal with once the first trimester sickness, dizziness and total exhaustion had passed. In my previous pregnancy I was in a different job and I shouted at a colleague of mine in front of the whole team (I was team lead). The colleague was was totally in the wrong, but I was so mad at myself for not acting professionally, I ended up hiding in the rain and cold on the fire escape sobbing uncontrollably to the extent that I had to call my boss and ask to go home immediately!
I ended up telling my boss and a couple of other senior staff that I was pregnant before my scan. I think half the team had guessed anyway as I had turned from this calm supportive professional person into a snappy irritable mess. I wanted to keep it a secret until my scan but I felt so awful I needed support otherwise I would have had to go off sick as I just wasn't coping. I amended my shifts so that I wasn't doing too many long days in a row, and also told a few seniors under me, so that they were a bit more supportive and sympathetic - rather than overloading me with all their little problems - they actually started solving their own problems and offering to help me when they had capacity. If you told your boss could they get someone else to help out with a little bit with your marking etc temporarily?

Potkettleblack2 Sat 16-Apr-16 00:04:42

Secondary school teacher here too. Don't worry-it gets better! I am 33 weeks now but found weeks 6-14 very difficult. I think I took most of my frustrations out on DH though!

For me the hardest part was workload and my need to be in bed by 8 (this went on well past 14 weeks) but 8 is when I usually start marking etc as DC1 in bed and dinner is over with. I've had to be very disciplined with myself at weekends and during frees/lunch, and basically grabbing any tiny chance I had to do work. Counting down to Mat leave now though!

User1288 Sun 17-Apr-16 12:04:21

Drsausagedog I really hope your sickness calms down. I've had some very bad nausea and some vomitting but luckily I haven't had to throw up at school. I read it calms down in the second trimester so I hope you don't have to put up with it for much longer.

Missingcaffeine it does make you feel bad when you have those kind of moments, doesn't it? Poor you in the rain - I guess like someone else said - pregnant or not, sometimes we all have those moments. It's difficult to not beat yourself up over them though. It sounds like it really helped to let people know that your pregnant. It makes people more tolerable if anything. Not sure some students would fully understand the impact hormones can have. I certainly didn't prior to getting pregnant so will definitely be so much more understanding of any pregnant woman. I only ever thought about how tired you must get but that was only when I could see a massive bump! Oh the ignorance haha!
As for passing on marking - I wish! No teacher will willingly take on someone else's marking. We all have way too much of our own as it is. Once I tell the students (the older years), I think they will be a bit more understanding in terms of waiting to get work back.

Potkettleblack2 can't imagine how tough it must be when you already have children. Not too long for you now, so good luck with everything! It is nice to hear it gets better. Oh poor DH gets the bulk of my frustration and anger - I feel really sorry for him at times and try to control myself. Very difficult but luckily he's not taking me too seriously.

You must be so excited now! I can't wait to have a bump and be visibly pregnant to all!

Another secondary teacher here who is struggling to cope with the anger! I was really snappy with a y12 class just before easter as the majority hadn't done homework, were on phones and not doing what I asked and then one of their mum's emailed the head teacher to complain about it! I found out on Friday and have now spent most of the weekend in tears! I'm cross with myself for being snappy and cross with the student whose mum complained for telling her when clearly I'm not normally like that! I guess it's all patience and sweetness and light on Monday. In my last pregnancy I was just grumpy with other teachers (but never in front of them - just raged to my friends about it!!!). Fx it's easier as we get further in!

User1288 Sun 17-Apr-16 14:51:34

How horrible they went as far to complain about it. Especially if you were just snappy and not having a complete meltdown like I did (I was worried I'd get a complaint and I would have deserved it if I did if I am completely honest). It is such a horrible feeling to feel like we are being questioned or challenged when we work hard and just want the best for our students. Some parents are more pushy than others too and it could have been an offhand comment by the student about their day which pushed the parent into writing an email. I am sorry you spent the weekend feeling rubbish, I would have felt horrid too but try not to beat yourself up about it. Someone will always have something or someone to moan about I guess. Anyway, with exam classes it can be tough on a normal day, especially as there is now huge exam pressure coupled with some teenagers trying to ignore the pressure by doing very little. Smiles through gritted teeth for now!

As for other teachers, I am trying to deal with them as and when necessary. I don't need to make enemies right now!

MsFiremanSam Sun 17-Apr-16 15:43:41

Secondary here too - I'm back tomorrow after the Easter hols and could cry at the thought of it😭 I have four exam classes so it will be full on now until June. Tons of marking to do before the controlled assessment deadline as well. Motivation is on the floor at the moment!

Thanks op. If I'd sworn at them or something I'd understand it, but I just refused to help them do things they should already have done for homework/repeat things for the 100th time so it just send really harsh, but each to their own!
Good luck those returning after easter. I've been back a week and it feels like a lifetime!!!

Spottyladybird Mon 18-Apr-16 10:09:13

Another teacher here- primary and I'm 10 weeks! Have no patience at all, especially with my year sixes who are driving me up the wall!

Helbelle75 Mon 18-Apr-16 10:23:12

It's the tiredness I'm finding difficult.
I've decided I'm going to tell my line manager this week as I may need some support/ understanding about certain things not getting done.
My patience is fine today, but I teach MFL and it's all action stations and I just don't have the energy! Plus I'm starving and have just had to go and have a banana in lesson changeover!

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