Hi everyone.
MEGA LONG POST ALERT!!!
After some advice, hopefully this is the right forum to ask in.
I'm due DC2 soon and I'm having a stress out about visitors. I'm part of a large family and I live about a 7 hour drive from my parents and DH's parents. My mum is a school teacher and so her and my dad will only be able to visit for a weekend when the baby is born. My inlaws also want to come down to stay with us when the baby is born. The trouble is, they will want to come for about 4 or 5 days and stay at our house. The other issue being, I find my inlaws very difficult and they've always been very unsupportive of my parenting choices. They are completely overbearing. To give a bit of an insight, if DC1 misbehaves and I give her a time out (which I always do in a very calm manner), they will start shaking their heads, asking why I gave her into trouble etc. They tried to force me to give my breastfed baby a dummy when she was little, tried to force me not to breastfeed etc. When my MIL spends time around our 2 year old, she'll do things like touch her hand and say "oh your hands are cold sweetheart, you should have a cardigan on!" Then if I put a cardigan on her, 20 minutes later, she'll be touching the back of her neck saying, 'oh it's warm now the sun's out, you feel far too hot! You need that cardigan off now.' Sorry, these sound like ridiculous examples as I write them, but it's just the constant undermining really wears me down. There are many, many other issues their too, frequent bad language infront of my 2 year old, FIL smoking while standing right next to 2 year old, trying to get my to put my finger into glass of wine and then in DC1s mouth if she cried as a baby etc etc.
I really can't face the thought of them staying that long. I have already told all our family that we want some time alone immediately after the baby is born so we can bond as a family. We feel this is particularly important for DC1. It would be different if our family lived locally and just wanted to pop in for a couple of hours, but the reality is, we will be putting them up for the duration of their visits. It's not just parents visiting, it will be all our siblings coming down at various times with their families too.
Anyway, my gut feeling is that I need to tell DHs parents that they can only stay for say 2 nights. The only problem being that flights to where we live are very expensive if not booked far in advance. They won't be able to book in advance due to not knowing when the baby will arrive. That leaves them with the option of driving but they are in their 60s and the drive does take it out of them. Traffic can add a substantial amount of time on too. So would it be fair of me to expect them to drive down this far for such a short time? They do have lots of savings so they could physically afford to fly but it is definitely overpriced when booked last minute.
I honestly can't bare the thought of them staying full stop when I'm at a vulnerable time and adapting to life with a new baby.
What do I do??? Please help!
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Pregnancy
Visitors after baby's born
16 replies
LittleMiss215 · 06/04/2016 09:49
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