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Relationship breakdown during pregnancy.

(5 Posts)
charlottexox Tue 05-Apr-16 21:19:55

Hi ladies,
I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and recently suffered a relationship breakdown.
I am only 21 and this is my first pregnancy.
Before I got pregnant things were fantastic with my boyfriend and I, and I do believe we were very much in love. When I told him I was pregnant, it took him such a long time to go around to the idea and also asked me to get an abortion.
I refused and said I would go on with my pregnancy, at my 12 week scan at the start of Feb, he started to come around to the idea of being a father, but ended our relationship because he said that he is scared of being a family.
I am absolutely beside myself, as he was my first proper relationship, being a young mum too, I just wanted a family. I have longed for a baby since 17, but struggled to get pregnant due to having PCOS.
He is still playing a part, coming to my appointments and that sort of thing, but when I see him it hurts.
I also just have constant worry that he is meeting someone else, I guess you could say my self-esteem isn't the greatest.
I am also on anti-depressants (mirtazapine) which my GP recommended due to my low mood. I just feel very alone during my pregnancy even though he wants to still play a part. I was just wondering if anyone else has been through this and how you managed it?
I just keep counting down the days till I can hold my miracle baby, that's what keeps me going through all of this.

clashofclanswidow Tue 05-Apr-16 21:37:16

Hello OP flowers

Going through this myself - 32 weeks pregnant, 6 year relationship ended, one DD already, second DD due end of May =) Fellow PCOS sufferer too!

Our circumstances are different but I just wanted to say I know the emotions you are going through and they are so hard, however it does get easier in certain ways.

Break ups are hard emotionally anyway but throw in pregnancy hormones and it's a mindfield.

Didn't want to read and run and I'm not through it yet so to speak but much like you, I remind myself how lucky I am to be having my second DD and telling myself that all my DD's will need is my love and the love of my family and if Father wants to be around then lucky them and if not, so be it, we'll be ok without.

As for your relationship - it's hard to advise. Would you want to get back with him or do you think it's for the best that you have seperated?

For me I won't be getting back with kids Father due to difficult circumstances so I have coping strategies for myself but I guess it depends what you want long term?

In the meantime, really try focus on yourself instead of him, remembering to eat and drink etc and just pamper yourself whilst you can =) xx

cocochanel21 Tue 05-Apr-16 22:01:13

I was on my own with my first dd, I was also young (15). Her dad didn't want to know from the beginning.
It was hard but it was also the best thing I've done.

You should just concentrate on yourself and your baby.
Good Luck flowers.

seven201 Wed 06-Apr-16 08:29:41

Gosh, how stressful. So you were both trying for a baby but then when you got pregnant he changed his mind and wanted you to abort?! You can do this on your own, the most important thing for a baby is love. Do you have family to support you?

charlottexox Wed 06-Apr-16 13:54:09

Thanks ladies.
I do have my family's support - well.. I would say my dads support. Our relationship is very close and he has supported me since day one, although unfortunately my relationship with my mother is strained.
I am just going to try and focus on my pregnancy :-)

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