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Telling people (not work) early because of "morning" sickness?

(4 Posts)
magnificatAnimaMea Mon 04-Apr-16 05:13:33

Am 6+6, feeling bloody awful with constant nausea and extreme tiredness.

I know that on the one hand, this is mild compared with many people's experiences; but on the other hand, it's bad enough that i really have no great desire to do extracurricular things that I would normally do a lot of.

However as this is the 4th time I have been pregannt in the past year, people are getting fed up with me being a flake and not turning up to extracurricular stuff (thankfully my job is at home and my uni course caters for the reclusive, so no issues there).

I am beginning to feel I owe it to a couple of choir conductors to tell them just why I have missed quite so many rehearsals and (for one of them) why I might need to pull out of the concert in 7 weeks' time...

But then there is the point of view that it's none of their business... and the question of feeling stupid when you miscarry and say "oh, it was another false alarm, sorry".

Anyone else know how to deal with this?

AKP79 Mon 04-Apr-16 12:18:47

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I had a missed miscarriage at Christmas and am now 5 weeks pregnant again. I have decided to tell the close friends I told while I was having the miscarriage and have also told my boss at work. My reason for doing this isn't because I felt I should in any way, but because I think where possible, I need to take the pressure off me and do my best to be relaxed. I felt that telling these people just released some of that pressure and helped reduce my anxiety. So maybe that's a way of looking at it?

And as for 'it was another false alarm' don't go there, it's too negative (which I'm sure is how you may be feeling).

SouthDownsSunshine Tue 05-Apr-16 09:25:08

I hope this pregnancy goes really well for you.

I've had 3 miscarriages and now I don't worry about telling people early on. But that's my personal decision, and you need to go with what's right for you. Can you explain that you've got some 'medical problems' but not specify any further?

magnificatAnimaMea Fri 08-Apr-16 04:55:09

Thanks both. In the end I told one of the conductors, who, thankfully, was sympathetic (he's 45 with 3 kids).

The other one may perhaps be less so (aged 30ish, no kids, tends to be unsympathetic about things he hasn't previously encountered), so I'm seeing if I can get away with not telling him yet.

Pregnancy currently going well. Embryo has a heartbeat, I have all-day nausea and feeling like I've been hit by a bus. I just slept for 3.5 hours in a chair, in the middle of the day, having closed my laptop to try to push away the nausea for a bit...

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