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Negative reactions baby number 5

(18 Posts)
Loudhouse85 Sat 05-Mar-16 18:54:11

I've been married 9 years and with my husband 10 years, I have 2 older children to a previous relationship and we have 2 together aged 7 and 5, I'm 13 weeks pregnant and although this pregnancy wasn't planned but we are now happy about it my only problem Is everyone we've told so far have been really negative!! Reactions have included 'oh no what are you going to do?' 'How stupid can you be' 'you are not seriously keeping it' not one person has been positive!! Me and my husband own our home, both work and receive no support from anyone to raise our children... They all do well at school, have nice things, are well behaved and polite so it's not like we have raised tear aways or are living in poverty, yes money is tight at times but we work hard and are always trying to better ourselves for our children. I'm feeling so upset, my best friend called me selfish and no longer speaks to me, not one person had a nice thing to say and just feel like I'm going to snap if all the negative comments continue. So far I've told people close and it's made me scared to tell outsiders for fear their reaction will be worse, I feel so ashamed now and it's put a real negative spin on the pregnancy 😔 anyone else feel this way?

KittyandTeal Sat 05-Mar-16 18:56:58

Congratulations on baby number 5!

I have no experience of having that many and the reactions of others but I wanted to say awesome news for you 💐

Will you be finding out the sex? Have you told the children yet? Bet they're super excited for another little brother or sister

RudeElf Sat 05-Mar-16 18:58:03

Those are some really odd reactions based on what youve posted. Suspect there is more to it tbh.

Congratulations. Fwiw, no-one else has to be happy about your family. As long as you and DH are and can manage then dont worry about anyone else.

Loudhouse85 Sat 05-Mar-16 19:14:09

Thank you 😊 think we wait for a surprise this time 😊 older children not too impressed tbh as worrying about having to share a room ect but hopefully will come around to idea as pregnancy progresses, our little 2 are ok about it bless them 😊

Nothing terrible to it really... Guess everyone had expected we'd done having our family and obviously they do not find it acceptable to have 5 children as most my friends and family have stuck to what's considered a normal size family of 1 or 2 children... They somehow think our children won't get the attention they require in a large family but that's just not the case, been a large family doesn't always mean a bad family.

MsFiremanSam Sat 05-Mar-16 19:39:45

Congratulations! 💐 Every baby is a blessing and what fun your new addition will have with so many siblings x

macdat Sat 05-Mar-16 20:14:46

That's just the way people are sometimes when it comes to large families. I come from a huge family, and my mum does receive nice comments, but there's a lot of judgment too. My sibling group is more than 5, and we did all get enough attention, all had hobbies, all had after school clubs and things to do on the weekend, people just assume it is impossible.

Congratulations on number 5, hope it all goes well for you. Don't mind anybody else, they aren't the ones paying for or raising your kids, so what they think really doesn't matter.

novemberchild Sat 05-Mar-16 21:23:00

Wow - if there is nothing else to it, then that's some very extreme reactions.

It's nobody else's business how many children you have, and years ago 5 or 6 kids were quite common - myself one of 5.

elQuintoConyo Sat 05-Mar-16 21:27:38

Fuck 'em grin

My dad's 1 of 9, DH 1 of 6, Bil has 5, Dmil was 1 of 15 shockgrin big families are old hat to some x

Congratulations Loudhouse85 flowers

Mrs5boys Sat 18-Jun-16 09:36:14

When I found out I was having number 5 my nan refused to aknowledge it for a long time ,, not sure why as same as you my children are well behaved , polite , and looked after completely by me and my husband . I wondered if it was because people thought we had moved on from having children ,,, with their opinion being that 4 was more than enough ! Maybe they are just being selfish ,,, because as you're children get older you have more free time for friends and family and once you have another baby they consume a lot of your time ? I've also had the awkward comment of ohhhh god another one to add to the Xmas list , this is getting expensive !!!!!! I'm now expecting number 6 and really not looking forward to the comments that I know will come !

leopardspice Sat 18-Jun-16 09:43:42

Congratulations op flowers lovely news!!

People are so horribly judgy... If I tell people I plan on sticking to 1 baby (a number of reasons fertility and health related) I get told that I'M selfish so you really can't win.
It's lovely news op and the baby will be a lovely addition to your family

Mishaps Sat 18-Jun-16 09:47:31

Congratulations - lovely news.

Tell the naysayers to go boil their heads - how dare they be so rude!

MrsJoeyMaynard Sat 18-Jun-16 09:49:43

Congratulations OP.

I wonder if part of it is people projecting their own preferences about the family size they would like?

I'm pregnant with DC3 now, and I've had a few comments along the lines of "oh, I wouldn't want 3 children because of xyz".
Almost like because it's not what they would want, they can't quite understand how we might be happy about it.

Chillywhippet Sat 18-Jun-16 10:32:42


4DC here and had a bit of that on DC 3 and 4. You were probably "allowed" those because of new DH.

We kept our youngest in our room for ages before moving the older ones around but that may not work for you.

Have a look at the larger families board here. Lots of people with 5 and more that will have experienced the same reactions.

Like you, our kids are well looked after, good kids. After DC 4 MIL gave me a talk on if DH made a mistake I could get the morning after pill. angry
She also said he should have the snip. I said he'd rather have a 5th child than the snip.

WinterRose92 Sat 18-Jun-16 14:47:15

To be honest, I really don't understand how people can be like this. Nothing to do with them. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let them ruin it for you - you and you hubby are happy and that is the main thing. Congratulations on your happy news! smileflowers xxx

DontDeadOpenInside Sat 18-Jun-16 14:54:36

Congratulations flowers

Some people just have nothing better to say. I have 9 children and have had the negativity since I was pregnant with number 3. I'm used to it and no fucks are given!

Jodie1982 Sat 18-Jun-16 16:18:42

Congrats to you.
I'm pregnant with no.6 and do not give a toss what outsiders think. I only get nervous when telling my mum and sister but they are happy for me, thank god lol. My eldest lives at her Dad's unfortunately so will really only have 5 at home apart from when she's visiting.
I'm one of 6 kids myself. I love having a big family, there's never a dull moment at home!

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout Sat 18-Jun-16 16:27:49

I know how you feel! We had the same reaction to, what we thought was, baby no 4. It turned out to be twins and the general reaction was "More fool you!"

I was shocked by the amount of people who assumed it was an accident and more so by those who actually said so

Who cares what they think? I always wanted a big family. Congratulations on yours!

Plumsieinaonesie Sat 18-Jun-16 18:00:19

Congratulations x

I'm also pregnant with no5 (22 was) so far the comments have been fine, I'd have only told a selective few but I'm waiting for the playground mafia to pounce once they find out because I know that's where the less nice comments will come from, it was bad enough with no4.

I've decided that as long as you and your family are happy that's what matters x

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