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Pregnancy after infertility

(1001 Posts)
bananafish81 Thu 03-Mar-16 13:15:55

Thought I’d start this thread as I find myself feeling quite out of place on the ‘normal’ antenatal club threads - find it difficult to relate to being upduffed after 'just' having some sex, and thinking ahead to buying maternity clothes, how much maternity leave to take, where I’d like to give birth etc

I realise it’s entirely my own issues and that infertility world has clouded my views, but I want to scream ‘DON’T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THAT COULD GO WRONG!!’.

There’s a thread for pregnancy after previous loss, but thought there might be some kindred spirits who are navigating the world of pregnancy after infertility

bananafish81 Thu 03-Mar-16 13:16:50

To add my tuppence, I’m 34, currently 8+3, pregnant for the first time after our second round of IVF. Already mentally planning how I would prefer to manage a miscarriage (medically or ERPC) as I cannot believe that a pregnancy could turn into a healthy baby.

Saw a beautiful hb at our 7 week scan and now just nervously counting down to 10 week scan. Eek.

Sweetheartyparty76 Thu 03-Mar-16 14:30:44

Can I join?
I'm 39 and 5 weeks pregnant with 2nd round of ivf. We have been trying for 6 years and we fell pregnant naturally 2 years ago but we had to end it as our baby was diagnosed with a lethal condition following the 12 week scan.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up but it's getting harder not to get attached and get mildly excited. I'm really dreading the scans. We have an early one next week but the 12 week scan will be terrifying. I can't imagine the sonographer saying anything but horrible news.
Good luck to all our precious loads x

MrsPickwick Thu 03-Mar-16 15:32:02

Hello hello, what a good idea. I too have trouble relating to the normal antenatal threads, especially with people expecting third, fourth, and fifth babies etc, like it's the easiest thing in the world!

I'm currently ten weeks pregnant after three years of infertility. It was a surprise natural conception while waiting to start our second round of IVF. I have stage IV endo and various other problems, but we saw our baby's heartbeat at 8+2, so we're quite hopeful.

sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I can't imagine how heartbreaking that must have been flowers

Here's to a thread full of happy pregnancies and healthy babies smile

HP07 Thu 03-Mar-16 18:53:33

Hello, I wanted to join you as my husband and I have been battlng infertility for the past two years. I have endometriosis and a very low ovarian reserve and high Fsh for my age. My husbands sperm count is normal. At first I found it very hard not to read into everything that could go wrong but as I am approaching the end of the first trimester I am starting to relax a little and enjoy the happiness that has come with conceiving against the odds. We were about to apply for NHS funding for Ivf when I found out I was pregnant and couldn't believe it! I know others have tried for much longer and don't know how couples keep their spirits up when there is so much disappointment. I don't think you can truly understand the struggles of infertility unless you have been there. We have been told that further children may be difficult so this pregnancy is very important. We feel very blessed and trying to stay positive.

Vap0 Thu 03-Mar-16 20:52:05

banana thanks for starting this thread! I've been meaning to do it as I feel bad updating our old thread with too much pregnancy stuff.
I'm well and truly in and will ask flat to come and join.
Hi ladies! Nice to have a group of people who can understand what an achievement it is to get to this stage. I'm 13+2 shock, had my 12w scan today and they pushed my dates forward by another 3 days. After 28 months of unknown causes of infertility we had our BFP grin. Sadly we had 2 losses (aug and Dec last year) along the way which has made this one nerve wracking and probably less exciting as I'm just waiting for things to go wrong. Feeling a lot better after the 12w scan and it is actually starting to feel real and like we may actually end up with a baby at the end of all of this.

Best of luck to all of us thanks

findingmyfeet12 Thu 03-Mar-16 22:07:03

I'm currently 5wks pregnant with my first child after 9 years of infertility. We had failed IUI cycles and we're just about to move on to IVF when we ended up conceiving naturally.

I'm finding it hard to enjoy this experience as I'm constantly terrified of something going wrong.

We've had two blood tests and will now have a scan at around 7 wks. I won't relax until I've had that scan.

I have a stitch type pain (not serious) that tends to come on in the evening and I'm not sure if this is normal or not. Aside from that I'm having plenty of abdominal twinges all the time and every time it terrifies me.

Frank85 Thu 03-Mar-16 22:07:28

This is a nice thread....

Im nearly 37 weeks pregnant from IVF, I still don't feel mentally over the whole IVF drama and heartache still feel like something will go wrong , despite everything (apart from a huge bleed at the beginning) going like clockwork!
I think IVF just heightens your awareness of EVERYTHING that can go wrong

Frank85 Thu 03-Mar-16 22:09:45

Sorry a nice thread as in I dont feel alone!

bananafish81 Thu 03-Mar-16 22:19:01

Thanks for joining ladies, you guys are my people. You GET it.

Infertility is a club you don't ever want anyone else to have to be a member of. But it's bloody lovely to find other members of the club nonetheless

On phone so can't do personals but hello to you all.

BTW re the cramping, I had cramps that were so strong they actually woke me up in the night and literally took my breath away, made me feel queasy. Emailed my Dr in a panic and got the following reply which hope may provide some reassurance:

"This is absolutely normal. As your uterus is growing, you are bound to experience some discomfort and pain. You can have some Paracetamol to help ease the symptoms. As long as you are not bleeding, you should be fine."

My next official scan isn't until Monday next (10 weeks) when I'm having the Panorama test where they will also do a scan - but caved and booked a reassurance scan for this Sat.

I was horrified when I found out that the NHS 12 week scan was in the antenatal clinic - to discover MMC or severe abnormalities and walk into a room surrounded by pregnant women and babies is horrendous. At least with infertility clinics and EPU you're away from the normals!

Thanks for joining in and making me feel less bonkers for feeling quite alienated in pregnancy world. Xx

delilabell Thu 03-Mar-16 22:21:54

Please can I join. We tried for a baby for 5 years. Had clomid but chose not to have ivf etc. Next step was to adopt and out beautiful boy has now been home for 20months. We were completely happy with our family when (and I still have no idea how) I got pregnant.
I'm now 30 weeks and having a complete meltdown as it'd finally dawning on me that I'm actually going to be having a baby in a few weeks time!

Bleats Fri 04-Mar-16 02:59:05

Hello this is a brilliant thread. It took us 4 1/2 long, painful and desperate years to finally get pregnant with my last frozen on the second round. It is great to have a group really understand what that means and how the legacy remains.

HP07 snap on the endo.

Up to the 12 week scan I had such anxiety that it would all go wrong. I have a slight obsession with statistics around pregnancy and ivf, but because of this I have forced myself that given a healthy scan then all is normal and it is time to enjoy. As each day has gone on this has become much easier and I now am in the excited zone and I love the feeling of growing our child. It still feels slightly strange being able to celebrate and enjoy the process, but infertility took away a lot of fun from my early 30s and I am damned if it is going to take it from this pregnancy. Currently 17+6.

flowers to all of you and a double bunch to the fabulous bananafish.

Bleats Fri 04-Mar-16 03:06:26

Bananafish you are totally right to take yourself in for a check as sanity is all. Please try not to worry unduly. If you are bleeding and in real pain then there are real probs, but truly it is most likely that your dr is right on this one.

If it helps to know we had a huge panic at 7 weeks just days after the scan showing a heartbeat as I bleed, and bleed and bleed. After the worse night we found out that it was fine (a burst blood vessel basically), so I don't underestimate the genuine fear and then horror about having to go back through the process. [hugs] let us know how you get on.

Oooblimey Fri 04-Mar-16 03:20:53

Ooooo hello! Perfect thread thank you Bananafish!

We've been TTC almost 6 years, 2 x natural pregnancies both MC, then had a ruptured ectopic and fallopian tube removed. Last year had ICSI but MC at 11 weeks. I also have endometriosis and DH has a balanced chromosome translocation.

Currently 5wks preg following FET with remaining embryos from last years ICSI, at that time we didn't know about the chromosome thing so these two embryo's that I've had put in haven't been tested. Therefore I'm totally convinced that at my scan on 15th there will be no heartbeat. I have no pregnancy symptoms at all other thn some AF pains. I keep touching my boob hoping it will be sore!!

Past pregnancies I've always ahd symptoms which suddenly stop and I know it has died. Hence why the total lack of symtoms this time has me convinced its a chemical.

I've become an obsessive tester taking a digital every day for the last week, it says 2-3, praying it will show 3+ in the next few days!

Totally know what you mean about planning your managed miscarriage Bananafish. My sister in law asked me to day which hospital I planned to use for the birth! I laughed in her face, it had genuinely never crossed my mind so strong is my assumption that I'll miscarry!

findingmyfeet12 Fri 04-Mar-16 07:46:59

I thought my story was bad but hats off to you ladies who've had so many greater challenges along the way to becoming pregnant.

findingmyfeet12 Fri 04-Mar-16 08:06:10

I've had a brown discharge today. Just a small amount when wiping (sorry for tmi). Will I look like a fool going to the doctor about it?

HP07 Fri 04-Mar-16 08:11:36

This has happened a lot to me findingmyfeet. I'm now 11+2 and have had 2 early scan to check and everything seems OK. I have been put onto a trial to see if supplementing progesterone in the first trimester helps with spotting and preventing miscarriage. Speak to your Dr, it's probably nothing to worry about but they want to check your hcg level or do a scan depending of your gestation.

HP07 Fri 04-Mar-16 08:12:37

*may want to

wineandcheeseplease Fri 04-Mar-16 08:14:40

I'm currently 13+5 weeks pregnant after our first round of IVF was a success. I'm still finding it hard to process that I'm actually pregnant, as we had been trying for nearly 5 years.

findingmyfeet12 Fri 04-Mar-16 08:17:42

Thank you HP07.

I think I'll go to the doctor this afternoon.

YellowPirate Fri 04-Mar-16 09:06:45


I know what you mean. Don't quite fit in with the normal pregnancy threads, but also don't fit in the infertility boards anymore!

We had our DS after 4 years and on the 5th round of Clomid, just prior to starting ivf. Had a shock natural bfp 2 days ago and I am now 5+1. I have low amh, short luteal phase and still breastfeeding, so no idea how it happened!


Osirus Fri 04-Mar-16 10:22:18

Hi, I'm 25 weeks pregnant following first cycle of IVF (ICSI). We tried for two years without success so decided to go for treatment. Nothing obviously wrong with either of us about from slightly sub-optimal SA - hence the ICSI. It is hard to get excited - you know if anything goes wrong you can't "just get pregnant again". The anxiety doesn't go away. After each scan or midwife appointment you feel reassured but the worry quickly creeps in again. I was so nervous at my 20 week scan and other expectant mothers at the same stage couldn't understand why (hardly anyone knows about our treatment). I'm happy I'm now over halfway there but I am still conscious that anything could go wrong.

Blackpoollassy Fri 04-Mar-16 11:09:59

my dd was born after 5 years ttc and much trauma. it definitely effected me mentally, so much so that i couldn't bond with her for weeks as i had my protective bubble around me still just in case she got taken away.
i don't think people who haven't struggled would be able to understand that

KIM10 Fri 04-Mar-16 13:49:10

It's great to be pregnant after 8 years of infertility in some way you idealized how it maybe in dreams if it ever happens . But I kind of feel guilty for complaining about anything I have hyperpremis for 19wks and have caught every bug going since becoming pregnant and the anxiety about baby being healthy and making it safe and sound is driving me a little nuts but I still feel it's not real yet

Oooblimey Fri 04-Mar-16 16:00:42

Hope all is well Findingmyfeet xx I have fingers crossed for you. Brown is usually old so hopefully all is fine. My SIL bled of and on for the first 12 weeks with her first and the result is my very hyperactive but totally gorgeous neice!

I'm 5+1 today. CB still saying 2-3 (which I know is actually 4-5 but I'm crossing my fingers for a 3+ to show HCG rising!)

KIM10 - Congrats! Don't feel at all guilty about moaning! You have waited a bloody long time to be able to moan and should therefore do as much as you can lol! I understand your anxiety but have everything crossed for a healthy littel bundle of joy for you xx

Hi to everyone else too!!

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