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Pregnant and feeling very underwhelmed

(5 Posts)
Scouse749 Tue 01-Mar-16 22:56:24

Hi everyone. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and feeling VERY underwhelmed, had my 12 week scan which brought the pregnancy forward by 4 weeks (total shock) and my partner and I just weren't fazed by it. Yes the baby was there on the screen and we could see the head, arms, legs, heart but I didn't feel a sense of joy and excitement, it didn't seem like my partner did either.

My partner already has a little boy who he has of a weekend, I'm feeling like he isn'y excited because it's not knew for him...he's done this all before.

I also don't feel very supported, any time I say my back hurts or i'm tired (or anything pregnancy related) he just laughs it off or rolls his eyes and makes out like i'm being stupid. I don't think he realises what i'm going through but he also doesn't realise how hard this is with the baby being my first and his second.

My partner told me today that he has a work trip planned for 2 days after our due date, when I asked him to cancel it he laughed and said why would I? I said i'd like him to stay with me and the baby so I can get used to it and he said he only gets a week paternity anyway so it doesn't make a difference. The baby could potentially be one or two days old and he won't sacrifice a work I being unreasonable?

Thanks for readingsmile

butterflylove16 Tue 01-Mar-16 23:08:09

Sorry to hear you aren't having the best time. Do you mind if I ask if the baby was planned?

Hopefully over time you will begin to bond more with your baby. Try talking to baby & just spend time focusing on them and imagining your life together. I like writing in a pregnancy diary where I can write down how I'm feeling which has really helped me. Perhaps try talking to your midwife about how you're feeling as well.

When it comes to your partner going away two days after your due date, does he definitely have to go? As I believe most first time baby's usually come after their expected due date, and I'm sure that neither of you would want him to miss the birth. Even if baby is here, you will need his support and it would be a good time for him to bond with baby. Remember that you still have quite a while until baby comes, so try to relax about things the best you can as there's still lots of time to sort things out smile flowers

butterflylove16 Tue 01-Mar-16 23:11:10

Also please make sure to share with him how you're feeling, as communication is so important. It might also feel like a relief to know he's not alone in finding things difficult if that makes sense, and you can work through this together.

FigMango1 Wed 02-Mar-16 08:19:25

I think your dp is being horribly insensitive to you. Laughing and rolling his eyes? That's really unsupportive of him. It might not be his first baby but that shouldn't matter, it's still a new baby and special. My Dh can't do enough for me, he listens, is so thoughtful and will do anything to make sure I'm ok.
You need to sit down and have a chat with him explaining how this is making you feel,
And how his gestures are being dismissive of you. Hope he comes around thanks

Everythinggettingbigger Wed 02-Mar-16 15:35:21

I went into labour with my first at 40+3 so for a start that's really not a good time to be going away, I would say 2 weeks either side of your due date is bad planning.

do you mind me asking if this baby was planned?

definitely like butterfly said, take time to just sit and talk to bump, in the bath is a great time, get some pregnancy apps on your phone, or use websites, aptamil has a good one. go and have a nose round the baby shops? have you decided if you are going to find out if its a boy or girl yet? this might be a good idea as it will help you both visualise yourself with either a son or daughter in the future.

My DP isn't anywhere near as interested as me (28+1 with DS2) and the only appointment hes been to with me is scans, but he is interested and he is helpful most of the time if I say I have a sore back etc, I cant imagine how hard it is to have him show no interest at all flowers would talking to him about how you feel not be an option?

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