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Do I need to man up or go on mat early?!

(30 Posts)
Frankie72 Tue 01-Mar-16 09:49:23

I'm 35 week tomorrow and have planned to leave work (teacher) at 38 weeks. This would mean I would be paid up until my due date the first week of April normally if baby doesn't come early...

The problem is I'm struggling at work. Physically I'm shattered and walking around school is killing me. By Friday I'm a walking zombie and next to useless. Mentally I'm just not focused, I'm doing the minimum to get by and feel like I just chasing my tail all week. OFSTED is looming too so that's also a fear.

I'm trying to stay at school for my year 11's who's exam is fast approaching and the money...

If I left now I would still return the same time but will have to make the cash stretch further. Is forcing myself through the next 3.5 weeks worth an extra month and a half pay?!

Advice please!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Tue 01-Mar-16 09:59:10

This is not the time to man up. If you're feeling exhausted and uncomfortable, pat yourself on the back for making it this far and get out!! In the grand scheme of things 3.5 weeks pay is not going to make you or break you.

Like you, I was hanging on in there for one more pay cheque and I felt like an idiot when my baby came at 35 weeks. I'd had no rest, hadn't packed my hospital bag or done any laundry and I will never get those 4 weeks of sitting around back again ever because I'm going to have a child for the next 18 years!

applesvpears Tue 01-Mar-16 10:02:34

I decided to leave 4 weeks before my due date (although first two weeks was annual leave I hadn't used) I planned to go on longer but like you I got so tired and was working late all the time/feeling stressed, which was usual for my job but I felt I didn't want to go from working my ass off at work and then suddenly having a newborn! I think a little time in between to relax can only be a good thing.

DropYourSword Tue 01-Mar-16 10:03:32

I always thought I'd work until 38+. Am struggling now and have planned to finish at 35 weeks. There's absolutely nothing wrong with listening to your body, taking it easy and having some time to prepare for the arrival! I felt really bad about wanting to finish early (it's my first) but having spoken to experienced mums they really advised it.

Flossiesmummy Tue 01-Mar-16 10:05:45

Take your mat leave, get some rest. You'll be glad you did when the time comes to welcome your baby into the world. thanks

HeffalumpHistory Tue 01-Mar-16 10:18:53

Take the extra leave. In the grand scheme of things the extra money won't make as much difference as the rest & preparation will.
I forced myself to man up & push through to 37 weeks, dc1 was born at 37+3. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson but put all my focus on cash & same thing with dc2, he also arrived early at 38+2 flowers

Sunshine511 Tue 01-Mar-16 10:42:20

With DC1, I planned to leave late on but ended up having to go at 34 weeks. My job required me to virtually stand still on my feet all day long. The only time a chair would be available to me was on my 1 hour lunch break. So literally, 7.5 hours solid standing up 5 days a week. I just couldn't do it, it was killing me and my work were very uncooperative about it all! you have to put your health first and foremost at the moment. Realistically, these last few weeks aren't likely to get any easier! Sending hugs!x

Osirus Tue 01-Mar-16 10:46:40

I'm going at 32 weeks and I sit down all day (office based)! I would go asap, if you can.

Heirhelp Tue 01-Mar-16 14:48:38

I am 31 weeks with a student teacher doing some of my lessons and no thoughts of Osfted and I am struggling. i could not imagine working 60 hours a week in a school environment at your stage.

butterflylove16 Tue 01-Mar-16 15:08:02

I think you should listen to your body and leave as early as you can. My sister is a teacher and works 60 hours + week and gets tired and stressed, so I can't imagine what it's like to do that heavily pregnant.

waxweasel Tue 01-Mar-16 15:58:11

I went off early - I was planning to work to 34 weeks (am part time 3 days a week, office job but with a commute, and home with a toddler the rest of the week). I was just so sleep deprived and knackered that something had to give, and since I sadly can't take leave from looking after DD I brought my mat leave forward to 31 weeks. I'm 35 weeks now and couldn't imagine coping at work at this stage. Like you, I'll be going back the same time regardless so was fretting over 3 weeks' pay - DH had to really pressurise me into realising it wasn't worth it and to jack it in. Do the same!

Junosmum Tue 01-Mar-16 16:04:31

DS came at exactly 38 weeks. I told myself "I'll just do...and sleep tomorrow" tomorrow didn't come before the baby did! Go off sick if you need to.

Everythinggettingbigger Tue 01-Mar-16 16:07:36

leave and put your feet up!! you wont get this time back! assuming this is your first?

Im 28 weeks with DC2 and originally planned on finishing on what would have been 38+3 but ive now brought this back to 36+3! I work in an office so not too bad but just knackered with a 5yo to look after too. If I could physically afford to bring it forward anymore I would.

VimFuego101 Tue 01-Mar-16 16:22:02

If you think you might not make it to your leaving date, then it's better to leave now and make sure appropriate plans are in place for your classes, rather than you having to drop everything at the last minute, and being too ill to do a handover.

Frankie72 Tue 01-Mar-16 16:25:01

It would be random supply regardless if I gave them notice..... My cover can't start till after Easter unfortunately. I think a chat with the head need to happen and possibly just drop some classes. It's so hard! I feel like a right wimp.

Midwife appt tomorrow so gonna talk to her about it I think.

Too early to bath and bed at half 4?!

abbsismyhero Tue 01-Mar-16 16:29:24

it depends if you're genuinely going to feel guilty about your year 11s what you could do is get your iron levels checked to rule that out and make sure your medically okay see if you can drop some classes and restructure yourself a little so you have more down time if possible could you just focus on the upper years or do you have to work across them all?

seven201 Tue 01-Mar-16 17:06:38

If you need to go now, do.

I'm 24 weeks and also a secondary teacher and due to stop at 36.5 weeks (I think). None teaching people keeps saying to me that maybe I can reduce my timetable later on. I cannot for the life of me ever imagine a school doing that. Does it ever happen?

My friend is a science teacher and she worked until 40 weeks but was really lucky as she only taught one ks3 class, so ALL of her other classes were on study leave then.

YokoUhOh Tue 01-Mar-16 17:11:49

OP I'm a teacher, I went on Mat Leave at 38 weeks with DS1...and he arrived at 38+2!!!! Just do it. I'll be on mat leave at 33 weeks this time around...

I wanted to work up to Easter hols (39weeks) with dd for the same reason. I ended up going at 37weeks (ofsted came tues/wed of my final week which may have been the nail in the coffin!). Dd didn't arrive til 41+2 but I'm pleased I got to enjoy a bit of a rest before she came. It's exhausting. Good luck whatever you decide.

Reebok Tue 01-Mar-16 20:28:42

Leave early. Sod work. I left at 37 weeks first time round but really struggling this time due to hyperemesis, pgp, commuting 2 and a half hours a day, a toddler to deal with at home, constant painful contractions and general shitty health. I'm also a teacher and was going to leave at Easter at 35 weeks but decided to leave on Friday at 32 weeks. I just can't cope anymore. I'm quitting anyway so the maternity pay makes no difference to me. I did initially struggle with the thought of letting go of 3 weeks of pay but thought my health comes first.

Scarydinosaurs Tue 01-Mar-16 20:43:54

I left early because I just couldn't do it. On my feet all day and it was killing me. Leave now, if they were sensible they will reduce your timetable to make it easier for the cover- but in my experience HR in schools are stubborn and difficult and won't do things like this.

Quodlibet Tue 01-Mar-16 20:55:33

I worked until about 38 wks but the last bit of that was part time and often from the sofa. No way could I have worked ft in a school by 37 week.

As others have said, this is not the time to man up; feeling like you want to STOP and REST is listening to your body.

Might it be worth exploring reducing your timetable to the bear minimum for a couple of weeks to see if you can adapt?

Ilovepercypigs3 Tue 01-Mar-16 21:04:24

I've got similar dates to you, am 34+6 and was planning to work until the end of term. I'm fortunate in being supply so less work and more flexible but I've told the agency this week that I'm done. I'm shocked at how suddenly I've gone from feeling ok to being really uncomfortable and struggling to walk. I agree to just stop early if you can. Like others have said you'll never get this kind of chill out time again and the nesting is lovely!!
Hope your head is supportive when you go for a chat...

sepa Tue 01-Mar-16 21:21:23

I went to 38 weeks but it was a struggle. I have said to my friends (who are less pregnant than me) to leave earlier if they financially can. I used to work all week then sleep and cry on the sofa at the weekend.

If you don't need to give the 8 weeks notice (like I did) then I would say leave, enjoy the time before you have the baby. See friends, have naps, have you time and enjoy the company of your OH before your life is changed (obviously the change is good but still it's change)

Noappointmentnecessary Tue 01-Mar-16 22:26:21

You could always go to your docs and get signed off. I'm sure I read somewhere that maternity pay will kick in at week 38. That's what I would do!

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