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Bonding with bump?

(11 Posts)
Colabottle10 Thu 25-Feb-16 14:25:10

I'm 15+2, so still early days and I'm still suffering with all day nausea and sickness and have been since week 4. I'm on ondansetron with no signs of it improving. So I've not had a very positive pregnancy so far.

I don't feel bonded with the baby in the slightest. I'm overweight so any 'bump' just seems like fat, I can't feel it move and I wasn't overcome with emotion at the 12w scan.

Obviously we are pleased all is well so far and this pregnancy was planned. But I can't help feeling something is missing.

gamerchick Thu 25-Feb-16 14:28:42

Well I would be surprised if you were showing yet anyway.

If it helps my last pregnancy I sulked all the way through it because there was a baby actually there on the scan. I refused to get stuff until I had to and wouldn't even walk down the baby isle in asda until I was 36 weeks.

I was properly besotted when he was born though. I really wouldn't worry there's plenty of time and baby will be kicking hell out of you when you're trying to sleep soon enough.

frikadela01 Thu 25-Feb-16 14:36:37

I felt the same as you at around 15 weeks. I too am rather overweight so even now I'm 21 weeks it still looks mostly like fat. What helped me start to bond was when I darted feeling flutters last week. I also had a strange moment at around 19 weeks when I rolled over into my front in bed and it felt like I was lying on a big flat rock (sounds weird I know) it was kind of that point that I realised there is a bump under all the fat and it's the baby in there.

Having said all that my sister didn't bond with her bump at all. She hated being pregnant and it was only when my neice came out she felt connected to her. Doesn't have any bearing imo on her being a mum.

MrsSparkles Thu 25-Feb-16 14:38:55

I'm 25 weeks with my second, I honestly don't feel really excited until the baby is here. Yes I'm pleased and looking forward to it, but I don't get the buzz until I'm cuddling new baby.

I was exactly the same last time!

Jw35 Thu 25-Feb-16 14:52:31

I'm 17 weeks with my 3rd and it does feel different this time! Almost like I forget I'm pregnant! I found with my last baby I bonded better knowing the sex and giving her a name. I will do that again in a few weeks! I used to take baths and sing to my bump when I got bigger too!

butterflylove16 Thu 25-Feb-16 16:08:00

I'm 23+3 weeks and have found the bond is something which is growing over time. I find just talking to her throughout the day helps me to remember she's always there with me, as well as singing and reading stories. It did feel a bit strange at first, but I soon got used to it! I also love relaxing in the bath with some calming music and just imagining her, what she will look like, will she have my eyes? Will she be cheeky like her dad? Writing in a pregnancy diary to her helps me to really connect. I think now that her kicks are frequent and pretty strong, and that she's starting to react to my voice really helps everything to seem more real. Don't worry, I think it will come with time smile

squeezed Thu 25-Feb-16 17:01:09

In my first pregnancy I felt really connected with DD from the start. However, this pregnancy has been so much more difficult with sickness and spd that I feel no connection at all. I just feel grumpy all the time and if I'm honest, and I do hate to say it, I do blame the baby. However, I'm confident that it will change so I would try not to worry. Pregnancy is hard.

foxessocks Thu 25-Feb-16 17:07:21

I feel the same I'm 13 weeks. I personally think it'd to do with my feeling so poorly. All my energy right now is taken up on looking after my dd and keeping myself from being sick! I just haven't got the capacity to also bond with my unborn child. I feel sad about it because despite sickness with my first dc I did feel connected early on. I think once I start to feel more like myself (if I ever do!) I will start to feel that bond and that excitement.

Don't worry and stress over it. You're still feeling so poorly and that is bloody hard work enough as it is!

MadrigalElectromotive Thu 25-Feb-16 17:26:23

I'm 26 weeks now and only as I've started to feel a little better from the HG have I been able to start to feel any bond with my bump. I think it helps that she kicks a lot too now, which reminds me that she's there. For a long time, I felt like squeezed and blamed the baby for how I was feeling, which didn't help the bonding!

LBOCS2 Thu 25-Feb-16 17:30:32

I never bonded with my bump. It felt weird to feel like I should, didn't last time, haven't this time.

Doesn't mean you won't bond with the baby when it's here. It's a completely different feeling. And also, it's hard to feel positive about anything when you feel like crap at the beginning of pregnancy. My MS tends to settle between 16-18 weeks, you may be the same.

OldestStory Thu 25-Feb-16 17:46:33

I felt much better when I found out the sex. It made it all more real and more like my baby. I know that's maybe a bit weird, but it was a big change for me.

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