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Anxiety Club!

(6 Posts)
Littleredhead1983 Thu 25-Feb-16 09:03:34

Morning all,

I had my first BFP a couple of days before my missed period, and am now 4+4 - did a couple more tests, one the day I was due on and one a few days later (yesterday) and they got darker and darker until the positive line was almost as dark as the test line!

It was a real shock at first and definitely not the right time for this, but in the space of just a short week I have grown completely and utterly attached to the thought of this little poppy seed.

Thing is, now I am terrified of anything going wrong. Every little twinge, ache and cramp is sending me running off to the toilet to have a 'check', I'm waking up at 5am every day worrying and I can't even allow myself a little bit of daydreaming about what it's going to be like to be pregnant, to tell people, to have a baby, etc because...I guess I just don't really believe it. Plus I am (was!) a smoker and drinker, and I'm terrified as i know that makes me a higher risk, even though I obviously stopped the second I found out.

I know there is absolutely nothing I can do at this stage and I just have to say que sera sera, as it were. And I'm not expecting anyone to tell me it'll be fine, as no-one can possibly know! Just wanted to have a bit of a rant and see if anyone else out there is or has been in the same terrifying, all consuming boat as me!

smile

fortheloveofvintage Thu 25-Feb-16 09:54:09

Hey, I am in slightly different circumstances (I think) as previous early pregnancy losses have turned me into a basket case, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone is having an all consuming anxiety about your pregnancy's success.

I did debate wether to mention the 'm' word as I didn't want to worry you, but thought it's better to put my post in context.

The good new is after 2 m/c I gave birth to my son (now 4), the bad news is the pregnancy was 9 months of total panic and anxiety about every twinge, cramp etc. I was convinced it wasn't going to happen, but it did and he's here.

I am now 9 weeks pregnant with no 2 (sadly after one more m/c) and at around 8 weeks I had a bleed. Obviously thought the worse but got a scan and everything was fine, however, I am still totally anxious every time I go to the loo and am kind of dreading my 12 week Scan as I am convinced something will be wrong.

Soo I know how you feel. I would love to enjoy pregnancy but unfortunately it is just 9 months of anxiety for me, although you do feel better after each scan and once you can feel movement. It will get easier.

Also don't worry about any smoking and drinking, I got completely wasted a week before I tested positive with my son (hadnt really been trying that month so wasn't expecting it) and by his dates I must have actually been about 5 weeks. He is fine grin

Littleredhead1983 Thu 25-Feb-16 10:43:49

I'm so sorry for your losses, forthelove. That must be so hard.

I know it's probably really silly, but I had a termination a couple of years back and now I'm terrified that the universe will feel I don't "deserve" this one. Or, more mundanely, that the termination did some damage somewhere which will mean I'm higher risk.

I realize, however, that probably the worst thing I can do is worry and stress so I'm trying not to. I just so badly want this to work out! I have my first ultrasound on Monday- will only just be 5 weeks so seems early to me but I'm just following doctor's orders.

Any relaxation tips?

Littleredhead1983 Thu 25-Feb-16 15:42:01

Hm. I've had a slightly cramps tummy all day (more like trapped wind cramps than period cramps though) and now I have some pink spotting, like I usually do before my period. Looks like my anxiety may not have been misplaced after all sad

fortheloveofvintage Fri 26-Feb-16 19:11:40

Oh no sad I have also just returned from the hospital as its confirmed I have had a missed miscarriage (baby has no heartbeat). Have to wait at home to miscarry.

Honestly despite my anxiety I was starting to feel pretty confident about this one and starting to relax, and then wham.

Just goes to show there is absolutely nothing we can do, worrying or positive thoughts won't change a thing, we just have to let nature do its thing.

I have the comfort of my son and if I could make 1 pregnancy out of 5 successful then I'm sure you will have your baby too!

I have also read lots of positive stories about spotting etc and people have gone on to have healthy babies. It's not over for you yet, I really hope it works out for you.

Xx

Littleredhead1983 Fri 26-Feb-16 19:41:25

Oh forthelove I'm so, so sorry to hear your news, sending big virtual hugs your way.

I know there's nothing anyone can say, but it sounds like you are super strong and it's lovely that you can take comfort in your son.

All the very best x

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