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41 year old paranoid first timer (4wks 3 days)

(15 Posts)
Redk8 Thu 18-Feb-16 07:10:52

Hi any support muchly appreciated. After 2 failed ivfs and 2 1/2 years of trying I finally got my first ever positive test on Saturday (6 test done to date 😌)
I am analysing every single thing and worrying that I'm not relaxed enough......
Latest things are boobs have been agony but today only a little uncomfortable.....cramping stopped.... Not feeling overly tired or sick....
Would love to hear from anyone in similar boat

Hippahippahey Thu 18-Feb-16 07:32:38

I had my babies after years of ttc and Ivf. I felt exactly the same as you, panicked all the time that my symptoms were disappearing. Everything was totally fine.

In the early days I found counting down to the next scan helped. I had an early scan at 7 weeks, midwife appointment at 9 weeks ( still felt like a fraud at this point!) 12 week felt more real when we started telling people.

Do you have a scan booked?

flowers congratulations

Redk8 Thu 18-Feb-16 07:45:34

Hi hippa
No scan booked yet have to hand in sample on Friday to be tested.....nervous about that so think I will retest at home too! Dr did say I would be scanned early due to my age.
I'm glad to hear your positive story and that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Runner05 Thu 18-Feb-16 09:05:20

Hi Red, it's really normal in the first few weeks to have your symptoms come and go and while it's nerve wracking it's just your body adjusting to hormones.
I remember how reassured I felt when morning sickness rocked up at 6 weeks... 7 weeks later and I soooo miss those days of mild symptoms!

I know it's hard when you want this baby so much but try not to worry, eat all your favourite food while you can and keep telling yourself "I'm pregnant!" grin

If you want friendly people to obsess with please drop by the ttc#1 grads thread. Well make you welcome and gladly obsess over every little symptom with you smile

TheGreaterGood Thu 18-Feb-16 12:50:18

Oh God it's agonising isn't it? Feels like each day lasts forever and you end up having anxiety about having too much anxiety!

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with my first following 4 MCs and totally feel your pain. I can definitely recommend an early scan - I had one at 7 weeks and found it very reassuring to see a heartbeat, and to note the stats about the chances of MC reducing significantly thereafter.

If it helps to hear, I was probably more stressed in the early days of this this one than for any of the MCs - we were moving house, work was manic and I had bleeding and cramps that convinced me that it was another MC...but here we are at 19 weeks with a wriggling baby!

Best of luck and congratulations. flowers

Redk8 Thu 18-Feb-16 15:47:24

Runner you're right.... I'm strangely wanting to feel sick so that I feel that things are progressing, I'm sure I will regret that if it happens though....
Did you all continue to test? I want to do the clear blue this weekend just to check the weeks have increased!
I think people are going to think I'm crazy at work as I keep having a wee prod of my breasts to check they are still sore....

dats Thu 18-Feb-16 22:34:49

Congrats Red that's lovely news! I'm 43 and 18w with DC2, had DC1 at 41.

Spent most of first trimester of first pregnancy Googling '7 weeks no symptoms', '8 weeks no symptoms' ad (no!) nauseam. Had an early private scan at 9w because I felt so normal and was convinced it was all in my head. I kept testing - just using up all my cheap hpts - I completely understand why some people recommend against it, but it helped me. As did constantly reminding myself that actually, I had no control over the outcome - whatever was going to happen was going to happen anyway. And distract distract distract! Same with this preg although far less preoccupied while having DC1 to look after.

Really happy for you - try and relax, but don't worry that stressing will do you any harm - it really won't!


CockwombleJeff Thu 18-Feb-16 22:44:49

Once you're past 8 weeks you are a lot safer.

I don't think you're paranoid just understandably cautious - it IS early days.

Take one day at a time .

Paperblank Fri 19-Feb-16 09:37:21

Red I'm 41 (42 in April) and going in on Monday at 38 + 1 for induction this is DC1.

I remember the early days so well, I had hardly any symptoms and in fairness I never really got any. I was desperate to get morning sickness so I'd feel pregnant smile

It only feels like yesterday when I found out I was the same dates as you. I knew immediately!

Wishing you a happy healthy pregnancy.

JessieMcJessie Fri 19-Feb-16 10:28:31

Hi Red. I know very much how you feel. I am 42 and pregnant with my first after 2 rounds of IVF, a miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy. It is excruciating how slowly the time passes and the lack of information and control is extremely frustrating. We've just had our 12 week scan and it feels like it took years to get there (that's despite having had a good scan at 8 weeks- that stopped me worrying for,ooh, about 2 days...

I have had very very few symptoms which of course worried me but our baby is absolutely fine, exactly the right size and wriggling about all over the place. It was mad to see because if I had not had tests and scans (and obviously no period!) I would not have been able to tell I was pregnant.

One tip- I don't recommend the Clearblue with weeks indicator. If it does go up at the right intervals then great, but if it doesn't you will just worry yourself sick and it won't change anything. They are not hugely accurate and doctors are totally dismissive of them. Can you tell I'm speaking from experience? I did find it reassuring to do a few extra line tests up to about 8 or 9 weeks though, but deep down I knew they meant nothing as you'd still produce hcg even if you had begun to miscarry.
Best of luck- I recommend finding a good box set or very thick gripping novel to distract you.

Redk8 Fri 19-Feb-16 13:05:21

Is 8 weeks the earlies they scan gosh I'm not sure I can wait!! I did retest this morning with clear blue and it say 2-3 weeks so I feel happier although get that it's not that reliable!
So hungry for savoury foods and needing the loo a lot more are only clues....
Thanks and good luck all!

malvinandhobbes Fri 19-Feb-16 13:35:27

I am 41 and didn't believe we were really having a baby until after the 12 week scan.

Good luck! I had a private 8 week scan for my sanity to confirm dates so I could get the earliest possible NIFTY test. I couldn't find a place that would book me scan before 8 weeks. At 9.5 weeks I had the Panorama test with a scan. It was nice to see how much she grew in a week and a half!

Those first 12 weeks do crawl, but I am finding the second trimester is speeding by.

JessieMcJessie Fri 19-Feb-16 13:40:34

For scans 8 weeks is recommended as there should definitely be a visible heartbeat by then. Scan any earlier and it won't actually tell you anything one way or the other because the heartbeat might might be there but not yet detectable. I have heard that heartbeats have been seen at 6 weeks but a private clinic that takes your money for a 6 weeks scan is probably fleecing you and I suspect the NHS won't do it till 8. My IVF clinic made me wait till 8 and I was private.

Redk8 Sat 20-Feb-16 15:53:39

Thanks all I'm guessing we will be waiting for the 8 week scan then. Thanks for the info ladies.
Jeff I thought 12 weeks was the sort of safe time? It would be good news if you could try and relax at 8!
Malvin are in the uk? Just wondered if I will need to go private too, I thought at our age it was standard for early scans.....

Sore boobs continue occasional cramping but no more 🙄

malvinandhobbes Sat 20-Feb-16 19:17:59

I am in the UK and in in a very poor Welsh Trust.

My midwife is totally unimpressed by my age and I am not rated as high risk even though my last two babies were born over a decade ago. I've had two successful pregnancies and am healthy so they aren't interested in me. I get a 12 week scan, a 20 week scan, and very infrequent midwife visits compared to 10 years ago. I like not being high risk, I find it restful. I was also happy to pay for early scans just to put my mind at ease. The midwife was very encouraging for me to get a NIFTY test and was pleased to see the results.

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