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Advice for a miserable pregnancy

(14 Posts)
Brellaella Tue 09-Feb-16 15:52:31

Hi all, I feel a bit of a fraud for joining up as am neither a Mum nor pregnant. However my little sister is expecting her first child, a little boy, at 31. She's 33 weeks on Saturday and totally fed up with it. I'm at a loss of what to say and our mum passed away in 2008 so she can't get the benefit of experienced advice from the family. Add to that that her friends with kids seem to all have (at least claimed to) love the experience from start to finish and she's feeling quite low. She's essentially feeling very impatient, uncomfortable and tired and she can't wait to have her baby here and her body (mostly) back. I also think that she's not quite accepted this is really happening, she miscarried early last year and had quite a serious scare early on with the current pregnancy. She's very strong but often just pushes her feelings down when she's anxious. As such, I'm worried she won't let herself get excited and so she's enduring all the bad stuff without any of the good. Ultimately, there's nothing she can do but wait but did any of you feel this way and do you have any tips for getting through this phase?

Brellaella Tue 09-Feb-16 15:53:48

Hi all, I feel a bit of a fraud for joining up as am neither a Mum nor pregnant. However my little sister is expecting her first child, a little boy, at 31. She's 33 weeks on Saturday and totally fed up with it. I'm at a loss of what to say and our mum passed away in 2008 so she can't get the benefit of experienced advice from the family. Add to that that her friends with kids seem to all have (at least claimed to) love the experience from start to finish and she's feeling quite low. She's essentially feeling very impatient, uncomfortable and tired and she can't wait to have her baby here and her body (mostly) back. I also think that she's not quite accepted this is really happening, she miscarried early last year and had quite a serious scare early on with the current pregnancy. She's very strong but often just pushes her feelings down when she's anxious. As such, I'm worried she won't let herself get excited and so she's enduring all the bad stuff without any of the good. Ultimately, there's nothing she can do but wait but did any of you feel this way and do you have any tips for getting through this? Thanks for your time smile

Brellaella Tue 09-Feb-16 15:54:23

Sorry I appear to have posted twice! I must be worried!

whifflesqueak Tue 09-Feb-16 16:01:53

hmm I don't know what to suggest but I can sympathise. I'm 35 weeks and also have a toddler. it's totally exhausting and I just can't wait to go to bed at night even if I wake every two hours to wee or tend to the toddler

it is lovely that you are so concerned, she's lucky to have a big sister like you. maybe make her up a little hamper of luxuries to make her more comfortable? nice smellies, cosy PJs... that sort of thing?

Brellaella Tue 09-Feb-16 16:09:27

Oh blimey, I can't imagine what it must be like with a toddler in tow!

Thank you, I want to be a help especially as Mum isn't around and my Dad is well meaning but utterly clueless! That's a really good idea, we've got a long weekend in the countryside coming up (which will hopefully give her husband a break from her grumpiness). I could get something together for her then. Thanks, and hope you manage to get some rest today!

April2013 Tue 09-Feb-16 16:33:59

Tell her that so many women struggle with it, the worry, the fear, the grumpiness, various horrible symptoms - i know a lot of women find pregnancy easy but a hell of a lot don't, I'm one of them. I am 33 weeks, this is my 2nd, this time I am trying to distract myself from everything with tv etc as I was majorly stressed at the very end last time, but the thing is it is normal to be v grumpy and stressed at the end, I think even though it feels difficult for her you should encourage her to allow herself to be excited about some things as those are the things that keep me vaguely sane - choosing a name, the thought of not being pregnant anymore, as well as trying to forget about it a bit, she is so lucky to have you, you sound wonderful smile

Brellaella Tue 09-Feb-16 17:20:33

Hi April, thanks, she actually gets really cheered up by knowing other women feel this way. It seems very hard for many women to admit it isn't all sunshine and roses and it must be very alienating! You're right in that she needs to distract herself, she's just finished Game of Thrones so she needs a new project! We also booked tickets for a gig in the summer, I think forward planning for events that will happen post pregnancy is a help too.

She's honestly been an amazing sister to me, so this is no effort smile I hope you manage to enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy and your oldest gives you a break. Thanks for your words, I'm going to suggest she signs up!

ForTheLoveOfSocks Tue 09-Feb-16 17:26:35

By 33 weeks with both my DC I was completely fed up and pissed off. I'm like your sister. Everyone else has easy pregnancies and I felt like a big hippo grin

Tell her, her friends are obviously lieing through their teeth smile

Give her brew and cake and maybe point her in our direction so we can all moan together. I'm currently pg with DC3.

Hopefully she will feel better soon flowers

sepa Tue 09-Feb-16 17:34:48

I hate being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to meet my little one and love him or her already but pregnancy has not been what I wanted from the start.
I suffer with arthritis which didn't go away. I have developed something wrong with my liver and also have the beginnings of carpal tunnel. Add on top of that the tiredness, people touching you and you losing your identity for 9 months I can see why women struggle.

I agree that some people find it hard to say they are not enjoying but I have no shame in admitting it in RL to people that I haven't found it easy. I don't feel ashamed or embarrassed by it. It is what it is.

Your sister is lucky to have you. She will have her baby soon and will most likely forget how much she has disliked being pregnant

Issie339 Tue 09-Feb-16 17:46:41

I'm currently 34 weeks with baby no2 and can't wait to have this baby now, I'm so uncomfortable and fed up. As a PP said, people are lying if they say they enjoyed being heavily pregnant, she is totally normal to be fed up!! If she hasn't done so already, why don't you suggest she has a little read of the 'pregnancy' chat on mumsnet, absolutely full of people feeling exactly the same as she is!!

zannyminxoxox Tue 09-Feb-16 21:34:13

Get her some food she likes offer to rub her back get a dvd on. Help her round the house. I feel the same at the at the moment im nearly 33 weeks. My husband making pancakes for tea and telling me to sit down whilst he swept the stairs and cleaned downstairs made me want to marry him all over again. His efforts were much appreciated 😊

SoozeyHoozey Tue 09-Feb-16 21:44:40

I hated being pregnant with my first and I hate being pregnant now! My Mum also died before I had kids so I can understand her sadness at that. It adds a new dimension to your grief and you also grieve the loss of a grandma for your children.

Brellaella Wed 10-Feb-16 09:34:38

Thanks all for your helpful words, I spoke to her last night and have pointed her in this direction! It's great that there's such a strong community of non judgemental types out there for anyone who's finding pregnancy cumbersome. I know my mum felt the same, especially when she was expecting me as I was so enormous everyone was convinced I was twins! Am sure she'd see this forum as progress smile

sepa Wed 10-Feb-16 13:07:58

Brellaella - you will find many people saying about how everyone assumes they are having twins as they are massive!
I have been asked so many times now you lose track of when you was last asked grin

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