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Scheduled CS - would you tell people the date in advance?

(9 Posts)
bananaboatfloat Tue 09-Feb-16 13:28:02

I'm due in a couple of weeks with my second child. The first was a scheduled section and we didn't share the date with anyone. This time I'm a scheduled section again but due to having DD we'll need MIL on board as she's our childcare.

Would you share the date with others or try to keep it quiet? I'm torn this time for a few reasons:
MIL isn't the most discreet of people so may blab to friends and family on her side which makes me feel my side are left out
My mother may worry on the day about the procedure so not telling her prevents worry

I'm very aware that things may not go to plan anyway (DD was earlier than expected) but what would you do in this situation?

Artioo2 Tue 09-Feb-16 14:47:14

As you have to tell MIL, I'd just let everyone know, personally. Cuts out any worry about who knows and who doesn't. Unless your mother has some kind of serious issue with stress that you don't mention, is her being worried for a few hours until a reassuring phone call that much of an issue?

I had a scheduled c section with my last birth and we told everyone, didn't occur to me not to, to be honest. As it turned out, because things didn't go according to plan afterwards I was glad lots of people knew and were on standby to help.

MrsBenWyatt Tue 09-Feb-16 14:50:29

I have been given my date for my ELCS. We are not telling anyone until closer to the time, and then we will only tell MIL or my DParents, who will be looking after DS and DD when I go in.

Reasons for not telling include the fact that I might go into labour early or that the date might have to change if there are emergencies/ there is a backlog. Also, I cannot bear the texts from people asking how it is going when I likely won't have been seen yet (third on list).

Siblings have asked and I have given the above reasons for not sharing.

I didn't tell anyone when I was in labour with DD or DS (apart from babysitter for DS).

notfromstepford Tue 16-Feb-16 11:38:05

I've told people the date of my section. Everyone understands that that'll be the very latest he'll make his appearance and that he may arrive earlier.

It's really a personal thing so you just have to decide what you're comfortable with.

IguanaTail Tue 16-Feb-16 11:43:08

You could maybe tell them but just 2 days before?

CorBlimeyTrousers Tue 16-Feb-16 11:47:32

I told immediate family. The date wasn't a secret and I told friends in conversation etc but didn't make a big announcement on Facebook or anything. I also made it clear not to expect news until later in the day and that the date might be delayed if there were lots of emergencies and not to worry if that happened. The only person we consciously hid the date from was my elderly grandmother who worries a LOT. I felt it was kinder to her to tell her the happy news after the birth had happened. This saved her (and other family who would have faced the brunt of her anxiety) a lot of worry.

Good luck smile

5madthings Tue 16-Feb-16 11:50:03

It's up to you, I may need a section this time and I won't be telling anyone other than those involved in childcare as I don't want peoole knowing simple as.

I was induced for my others and again didn't want people knowing.

Fir me I didn't feel comfortable knowing others may be worrying, nor did I want the hassle of messages and also I don't want family dashing straight up to visit within hours if the birth which if they knew I was having a planned section some may be inclined to do.

So it will just be who is on childcare duty and they will be sworn to secrecy.

If you told your mil you want it kept a secret would she not do that?

BeardMinge Tue 16-Feb-16 12:05:41

I didn't tell a soul. We did tell both families which week it was going to be, so they were on 'standby', as someone put it, anyway.

The way I had to give birth was out of my control, but this was one thing that I could have a say in.

Having said that, if we have another I expect we'll have to 'fess up in advance due to childcare for no.1.

LastOneDancing Tue 16-Feb-16 12:12:11

DH's work know.
Both sets of our parents know.
My closest friends know (only because ive dragged them into in my very boring VBAC or ELCS debate).

Nobody else will be told as I don't want good luck texts and everyone knowing when DC2 is arriving. It feels strange knowing myself!

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