Scared and not sure what to do - long.(2 Posts)
33+1 and with DCDA twins, HG and apparently now impaired liver function, I am also ASD and Bipolar, normally medicated, currently controlled with talking therapy and meditation.
So I'd planned a hippy hypnobirth after DD1 (now 16)'s birth was -unfunny- the HG has had me hospitalised twice, this time I've been told that my body can't take it and I'm going to have to have a c-section, it was planned in for the 16th.
This time on admittance they had put me in a nice quiet room.out of the way to help me manage my anxiety and I was coping, regular visits from my Doula, midwife, psychiatrist etc, but after having had a central line put in I have been put back on the high dependency ward, which is an open ward where most people have their babies, normally after traumatic circumstances, or have lost their babies.
My babies are fine, these are often the first words said to me as another change of plan or shift in my health is advised, they are strong and healthy, they are not worried about my babies, yesterday (early hours of this morning) I was advised that we had been moved up again (I have now overheard but not been told that it may be second stage liver disease) I have set myself off into stupid floods of tears trying to write to my children just in case, for which I have been called -silly- by the staff nurse, they're coming for bloods from my central line in 2 hours so I don't see much point -sleeping it off- (not sure what the narcotic effect of peach cordial or chamomile tea are supposed to be) I just don't know what to do or how to maintain better, I'm so tired and feel so ridiculous.
Do you have the pregnancy live issue? I have just been diagnosed so have been reading up. Apparently it is more common when carrying more than one baby. If it is this then your liver should go back to normal after birt. The condition does put you at high risk though so they will aim to get the babies out in the safest way!
I do not think you silly for writing to your children however I think that this could be part of the bipolar rather than something bad actually about to happen.
You mention a doula. Have you had much contact with her recently? are you getting enough support from family?
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