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Going out of my mind with worry

(11 Posts)
Babysleeps Mon 08-Feb-16 18:05:52

I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the best place....

I am living in a women's refuge ATM at 37 weeks pregnant, on Friday Childrens Servises aranged an initial child protection meeting for Friday this week well I have been to the hospital today and as baby has not grown at all since my last scan two weeks ago I am being induced on wedsday this week so will not make the meeting.
The staff here have contacted the SW but she's in court for two days and seems to think the ICPC will go ahead regardless of if I'm there or not, I am so so worried that they will try to remove my baby from my care without me knowing ( they held planning meeting without telling me)
I have been asked to sign an contract with SW with things I must do/not do but the staff here won't sign it as the things they are requested to do are not manageable and want the wording changing
All I keep thinking is they will just turn up at hospital with a court order and take my baby from me it's making me ill.

Needcaffeinenow Mon 08-Feb-16 18:13:22

It is difficult to say as you haven't given much information. The only way they would take the baby immediately is if they felt it was facing significant and immediate harm from you. The fact you have a contract to sign shows that the SW is trying to work with you perhaps to make positive changes for you and your baby? At times these contracts can be overwhelming so it is good you have support from staff there to challenge this. I think you should have a right to be at the meeting, but again this all depends on the severity of the concerns.

Babysleeps Mon 08-Feb-16 18:21:17

Their concerns are
Alcohol abuse - I self referred and am now sober and have agreed to be tested
Past DV -I'm now in refuge but have been in one before so it's repeted
Mental health- last year I overdosed a lot of times but I have worked hard with my CPN and she has given me a very positive report and has now closed my care

Does anyone know if they can go to court without me knowing or do they have to tell me?

Needcaffeinenow Mon 08-Feb-16 18:56:39

They will tell you. But honestly it sounds as if you have made great progress, especially if CPN has closed your case. They will want to put a plan in place so you are best supported once baby comes. Please read this

They will want to make sure that they baby is kept from harm and ensure DV will not happen again. You sound like you are working with them. Taking a baby into care is often the last resort. They may even be able to get you into a Mother and baby unit to assess etc if they feel that is needed. I think you need to get talking to your SW or her Manager so they can explain to you more fully what processes they are following. From what you have said it seems that they are working with you to support you in keeping your baby and making sure you get any support you need.

Sophia1984 Mon 08-Feb-16 19:17:00

Do you have an advocate (maybe someone from the shelter?) who could go to the meeting on your behalf?

Babysleeps Mon 08-Feb-16 19:17:28

Thankyou for your reply it's reasuring, I do want to work with them and have worked incredibly hard to change my life to keep my baby in my care
It's just that overwhelming fear that a SW can have the power to remove her it's the scariest feeling I've ever felt

Babysleeps Mon 08-Feb-16 19:20:50

Yes the refuge worker has had an invite to the meeting so I believe they are going and she has told me today she has no concerns about me whatsoever so that's good
I just feel sick if I could of known the outcome of the meeting before giving birth it would of been better I'm not happy they have left it this long to hold the meeting sad

Needcaffeinenow Mon 08-Feb-16 19:52:05

I can't imagine how you must feel. The SW doesn't soley hold that power though and it is good you have support from the refuge. Honestly, the meeting will be about what future plans need to be put in place & review the initial plan. The CPN and refuge worker will be able to advise of what great progress you have made. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Just follow what recommendations they are asking you to make. It is a powerless situation to be in, I get that. But the SW will want to keep the baby with you.

MrBensMrs Mon 08-Feb-16 20:16:33

I haven't got any advice but I just wanted to say that you sound like a mom who has turned her life around to be a positive care giver to her child. I hope all continues to go well for you. And a non patronising and heart felt well done x

Primaryteach87 Mon 08-Feb-16 20:20:31

Just to reassure you that even if this were to get as far as court evidence that you are turning your life around and making it safe for baby can be compelling. I supported a mum who kept her children when SS wanted to remove them. The judge put a lot of weight on what professionals working with you every day thought. So please try not to panic. Keep up your good work. I really hope the hospital appointment goes well.

Babysleeps Mon 08-Feb-16 22:46:32

Thank you for all your support its nice to offload my worries here, my sensible head thinks all will be ok but that fear then takes over and Yes I feel powerless, I'm prepared to jump through whatever hoops I have to for my baby to stay in my care, the SW is not in much contact with me and that makes me feel worse.

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