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Anyone not preparing for labour at all?(61 Posts)
Just that, really. Did loads of prep for DS1 and none of it really factored as I failed to progress and had surgery after 3 days. This time I'm working full time with a two year old and have barely had time to plan for the new baby, let alone the birth. Going for VBAC as told this is safer, but don't care much about details of birth experience so long as we're both safe and I feel supported. Telling myself it's not really predictable, so having no plan isn't a problem. But wondering if I'm going to flip out in an unprepared panic when contractions start. Anyone else just waiting out the last few weeks with no particular preparation?
What sort of preparation are we supposed to be doing? Mostly I've been sitting on my sofa eating toast and watching Peppa Pig with DD
I haven't written or considered a birth plan if that's what you mean. It's DC1. I don't really care how it arrives, and it's not like I can control it. I give no fucks. My community midwife found this very amusing.
The only thing I know is that I want all the drugs. Until they start handing out million pound cheques for a drug free birth, I really don't see why you'd do that to yourself. (Although I do have several chronic conditions which mean pain is no stranger to me, so I am not interested in experiencing more for no good reason!)
Reminds me... I really need to put my flip flops back in my hospital bag. Which I think I need to put in husbands car I suppose! Maybe dig the car seat out too.
Perhaps I am too laid back!
I didn't with my daughter. What are you meant to do to prepare. My plan was take it as it comes... And I did. Ended up only having gas and it was fine. I wouldn't want to do it every week but it was bearable.
Everyone I know who's had rigid birth plans (one girl I knew had hers laminated) has ended up with an EMCS so I wouldn't worry about having one of those. My plan was "if it gets too much, give me all the drugs" but it never came to that.
Nah. Not much you can plan for really! Just hope it's quick...
Hospital bag is ready with car seat on top. No birth plan apart from give birth at hospital.
Preparing for labour?....trashy daytime tv and a date Ruth the duvet in between the school run
Ruth??? With-how the hell did autocorrect change that!
Personally I am enjoying marathons of Police Interceptors on "Spike" (freeview channel).
Well with dd1 I did a very basic birth plan because the midwife made me put something. It was just that I wanted a water birth if possible...that was it really! And I didn't get it anyway as I arrived too late.
I'm pregnant with no2 and think my birth plan will just be exactly the same as long as I stay low risk of course. But I won't really get my hopes up as things do change!
My only plan is getting the baby out safely. I will take all drugs if I need to but if I don't then I won't take them. I will have a c-section if baby becomes distressed (I have a high risk pregnancy).
Nothing about this pregnancy has been how I would have imagined (DC1 so no experience) that I don't want to stress that my birth plan has to go out of the window
I would have a list of choices, ie what pain relief you would like, if so and so happens I would like to do this. Ie at what point you would say you prefer a section rather than carry on trying for a vbac, if you are happy to have continuous monitoring or drip.
Things that may help ie staying mobile or water eyc.
Not as a plan more as a guide and to give you and your birth partner ideas, or a Che k list if you like so you are reminded of questions you may like to ask.
Also stuff like do you want immediate skin to skin with baby, would your partner like to cut the cord, would you like to do delayed cord clamping. Do you want the injection for the third stage, vit k for baby etc.
It doesn't have to be a set in stone plan, it's about preferences and then the midwife can help you make informed choices. Even.little things like music, lighting may help you feel more relaxed.
Mine has always said I would like to use water if possible and to stay mobile, this meant when I needed continuous monitoring the midwife knew staying mobile was important so she made sure to help me do this, to sit on birth ball or kneel on bed etc despite the wires.
Also some hospitals have wireless monitoring, some have mobile epidurals.
Are you happy to have a student at the birth or would you rather not.
Mine will say I don't like to be touched in labour, whereas other women find it helpful to have their bsck rubbed... Just little things that it can be useful for your birth partner or midwife to know.
Obviously lots is luck but some things can help labour, I have big babies so staying upright and mobile has helped them deliver being flat on my back as I was for one, slows my labour's.
My plan is to turn up at the hospital on the state my elcs is booked
Hospital bag is ready. The baby has clothes ready for it.
Oh mine said for induction I won't have the pessary/posting due to overestimulation of uterus, so straight to waters being broken and then how long I would wait before thinking about the syntocinon drip if breaking waters didn't kick start labour.
It's helpful to think about the different options beforehand so if you are faced with a scenario or choice you have some understanding of what is going on, being offered and aren't Making a decision under stress without information iyswim?
DD2 due fairly soon. Have packed a hospital bag, fitted baby seat, and done birth plan (for form's sake really - with DD1 I did find it weirdly hard to communicate with the midwives, & it can't hurt to spell out certain things like "no med students doing stitches please!!" ) BUT I do understand the appeal of NOT prepping. Of not overthinking. All I want is a low-stress, low-panic experience, and somehow endless pre-birth planning and "what ifs" and packing lists makes me freak out. Now, if I could just stop reading MN threads about childbirth..
Oh I have a if I need a c section bit, which has stuff like I still want immediate skin to skin provided baby is Ok, they can facilitate this. Also dh to go with baby if it needs to be separated from me.
And we don't know the Sex of this baby (32wks with Dc6) and we want to discover the Sex ourselves.
No birth plan or prep done here (32+5 with first baby) and not planning to do anything beyond putting a hospital bag together. If we're leaving hospital with a well baby I frankly won't care whether she arrived via my vagina with only G&A or whether she arrived via an EmLUSCS with me out of my face on drugs.
Interested that you say 5madthings that you have to tell them whether you want immediate skin to skin with the baby. Last time I was in the midwife the NHS was pushing this very strongly on a video in the waiting room.
2 questions -
Do they actually ask if you want it rather than just offering the baby directly to you
Why would anyone refuse it?
Some people like baby cleaned up before it's handed to them, I think.
I can't remember if I actually wrote my birth plan last time around, but I mentioned to the MWs before I started pushing that I wanted her delivered onto my stomach and delayed cord clamping - both of which I got.
This time around my birth plan is made up of bullet points. It says:
- I do not consent to the use of forceps during my delivery
- please deliver the baby onto my stomach
- if the situation allows, I would like delayed cord clamping.
That's it. At the moment I don't even know where I'm giving birth (I was high risk last time as I developed preeclampsia at 36 weeks), so it's all very much being played by ear.
Really? There's blood all over the floor, your nether regions are in shreds and you've just disgorged a placenta and some people still go "ew, dirty" and reject prevailing medical advice re skin to skin?
How interesting. (Can you tell I'm having my first ?)
I think (and I could be talking utter bollocks here) that although it does seem to be the prevailing medical advice, it's not actually mainstream practice yet - so you do still have to make the point that that's how you'd like it to be done.
Who knows?! I made sure to ask last time and I will this time around too!
I had such good intentions, but way too tired to prep. Also worried I'll panic.
Interesting- as I said, the NHS video that I saw in the waiting room have me the impression that it was "the NHS way" and essentially seemed to take the form of warning us all that this is what would happen and explaining why it was a good idea.
honeysucklejasmine the reason people don't take 'all the drugs' is that it's not necessarily good for you or the baby. Pethidine can make them drowsy and unable to feed properly - it stays in their body for days. Epidural makes you massively more likely to need an emergency c-section with all the risk that brings to both of you.
Fair play if people weight up the options and when the time comes decide they need drugs but it's not really a decision you shouldn't understand and be knowledgeable about. You just sound very naive.
JessieMcJessie I had requested it and the midwife still didn't bring the baby to me, she tried to take her off to get dressed. It took someone else in the room to get her to!
I think honey is just keeping an open mind Cornwall.
From the anecdotal evidence I've gathered people often go into it thinking they don't want any of the drugs, then realise quite how painful it is, then feel a failure if they subsequently do want or have drugs.
Knowing the side effects you stated is important too. I did when I had DS and I couldn't have cared less about them when I was out of mind in labour!
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