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Scan at 9+3, measuring 6+2. Advice please!!!

(37 Posts)
pa55methecake Wed 03-Feb-16 11:22:31

Firstly, I hope this s okay posting here. I have posted on the miscarriage board but then realised that some posts are not replied to and just needed to get this out there and hear from some people that may know what I'm going through.

As it says really. I went for a scan this morning due to a small amount of bleeding at the weekend and some pains at a different time. No heartbeat was found and they said it measured at only 6+2. I now have the heartache of waiting a full week to be rescanned to check my dates aren't wrong but I'm pretty certain that's clutching at straws but understand why they do this. My last LMP was 29th Nov and the last time we had sex was 24th Dec so really cannot see that it is anywhere near viable. Plus I tested on 3rd Jan and it was a very quick, strong positive.

I feel okay in myself, no pains or more bleeding but clearly cannot face work (I work with kids) and the fact I may start to bleed etc soon. This is going to be an awful week of waiting and I just wondered what other women have done regarding work. Did you take time off work until everything was resolved? Or did you take a few days and go back. My heart says take off work until everything us resolved which I'm aware could possibly be 2 weeks as I would need to wait for a procedure too and recover from that. I don't have a particularly busy, crazy job but there are some things coming up in next few weeks that if I miss will have a knock on effect on how our service runs and will likely mean I'd be quite stressed when I do go back. Saying that, I won't feel guilty about needing to be off.

I am totally devastated and feeling at a total loss at the moment. I have a supportive husband but he is very 'Yorkshire' in his dealing with things and so is not showing any emotion within moments of us finding out was already making comments like 'don't cry' and 'we'll get pregnant again' which I really do not want to hear right now, I just need to cry and grieve. If anyone can give me any advice or kind words I'd be extremely grateful.

Thank you

AlwaysHopeful1 Wed 03-Feb-16 11:38:14

I'm so sorry I don't have any useful advice just didn't want to read and run. thanks

Everythinggettingbigger Wed 03-Feb-16 11:50:06

sorry no experience myself but like always didn't want to read and run.

Hopefully your dates are just wrong and maybe 6+2 is a bit early for a heartbeat in some pregnancies.
Hoping for the best for you flowers

Conflictedkate Wed 03-Feb-16 11:58:00

This happened to me in November and sadly in the weeks wait for a rescan I had a natural mc. I would just take the time off work as it's such an emotional time and I was next to useless the day I tried to work.

You may of course have your dates wrong but in my heart I knew it wasn't possible and I think my body then caught up. Look after yourself... It's a tough time and very emotional so do what you need to to get through. My husband was also very stoic but supportive- however he took s few days off to be with me and that helped.

pa55methecake Wed 03-Feb-16 12:55:39

Thank you always and everything, up I ver much appreciate your kind words!

Thank you for sharing your story conflictedkate, I'm sorry for your loss! I think I'm in same boat as you knowing it's not possible to be 6 weeks. I've just told my mum and had a good cry over the phone which I needed. In all honesty I'm hoping that nothing happens before next week as I think I'll be traumatised by it and would prefer for it to be taken care off for me without me having to see it if that makes sense. I know many women would rather it happen naturally. But at the same time, I think what is most upsetting is knowing I am still carrying our baby but it's not the growing baby I've had in my mind and that us very hard especially as I still have some symptoms. Can I ask, did you have bloods taken when this happened? I thought they would have taken some to keep an eye on hcg levels but they didn't.

white66 Wed 03-Feb-16 15:25:09

I'm sorry your going through this, I had the exact same in July last year. I had bleeding at 8 weeks, scan told me I was only 5 weeks- I ended up being scanned weekly for the next 3 weeks. Each time I went the sac had grown but no heartbeat was found, they ended up diagnosing me with a MMC at 11 weeks. You need to look after yourself get signed off work, that was the best thing I did as at least I didn't have to pretend. Eat regularly and cry if you need too- I found myself bursting into tears at home regularly. I hope you have a more positive outcome

pa55methecake Wed 03-Feb-16 17:13:23

Thanks white, sorry to hear about your loss. That must've been a very hard few weeks for you having to give back and back again. I hope you don't mind me asking but Did you have to have a D and C? I'm nervous about it but think it's my preferred option.

white66 Wed 03-Feb-16 17:19:12

Yes i did my bleeding had stopped so I felt it was the best option for me. It was very quick and straight forward, after all those weeks I didn't think I could cope with anything else but a quick resolution

Eastend2015 Wed 03-Feb-16 17:34:11

Hi love sorry to hear your story. I had a MMC last year and waited for things to happen naturally for 3 weeks. When they didn't I had an ERPC which is only under local anasthetic. It was very quick (about 10 mins) and was more uncomfortable than painful. My DH was allowed in to hold my hand and the lovely nurse held the other then I was allowed to go home shortly after. On one hand it was good to allow a few weeks to get used to the idea but I still felt dreadfully sick and scared of what was to come. I wish I'd done it sooner! Lots of love and hugs xxx

Eastend2015 Wed 03-Feb-16 17:36:05

P.s the miscarriage association were very good to talk things through with, much more sensitive than the hospital. I hope you have a better outcome though!

pa55methecake Thu 04-Feb-16 09:09:16

Sorry to hear that eastend, that sounds awful waiting for 3 weeks and nothing happening. Did you work during that time? It must have been so sad for you! Glad to hear that your husband was allowed in. My husband was in yesterday when I has the transvaginal scan but he wasn't expecting it and think he felt really awkward and uncomfortable about it. I'm not sure if I could put him through it as much as I would want him there; he's not very good with anything medical.

Eastend2015 Thu 04-Feb-16 10:24:15

Yes I worked but then otherwise I would have just been at home stressing. At least it took my mind off it a little but my job is based in an office with short hours and a very supportive team. It depends on what works for you.

I understand your HB may not be good with medical stuff but he doesn't have to look at what they are doing. He just needs to hold your hand and distract you. My HB spouted some random rubbish to me while we were in there but he always cracks jokes when nervous. Again, each to their own but him being there strengthened our relationship and brought us closer, enabling us to grieve together a little more easily. I think I would have blamed him in some level if he hadn't been there.

To the extent it helps, I had an EP in 2014, the MMC in 2015 but am now 20 weeks with my third pregnancy and just had a clean bill of health at our anomaly scan. 3rd time lucky hopefully!!

Conflictedkate Thu 04-Feb-16 13:16:10

hi are you today? To answer your question no they didn't do a blood test for me either. I was just booked in for a rescan for a week later to see if any growth.

I was going to request an erpc rather than medical but as I said it happened naturally for me in the interim. It was painful but manageable. When I went for my rescan they confirmed mc was completed which I was relieved about as scared that I'd had all the bleeding and then would need surgical intervention anyway. I also had to take pg tests for a while after until I got a negative. That was difficult.

My heart goes out to you - it's so emotionally painful to deal with xxxx

Everythinggettingbigger Thu 04-Feb-16 13:37:00

Hi OP, just thinking about you flowers

DisneyMillie Thu 04-Feb-16 15:38:00

Thinking of you xxx

Personally I took the time off whilst waiting for a definite answer and then a week after my medical management. Do whatever you need to do to get through it and be kind to yourself x

riddles26 Thu 04-Feb-16 15:53:26

Hi OP, I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Something similar happened to me in Dec, I went for a scan due to a bit of spotting, should have been 7 weeks but was measuring much smaller. They told me to come back a week later to look for growth and heartbeat.
I started bleeding much more before the second scan. When I did go back, the scan showed it was still there and had grown a tiny amount but not as much as it should have. Although they said it was not viable, I had to wait for another week to confirm this due to the small amount of growth. I had decided I wanted to have ERPC but then I mc naturally before the 3rd scan.

I didn't have any blood tests taken at any point either.

I did go back to work between the first and second scan to try distract myself - it worked at times but had moments where I struggled. I told a close colleague so she was able to support me a little when I was finding it hard. I work with children too so completely understand how you feel. After they confirmed it was not viable, I got signed off for 2 weeks as I really couldn't face it at that point.

Look after yourself and take all the time you need

pa55methecake Thu 04-Feb-16 18:10:18

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts! Ipthis thread has helped me such a lot!!

I'm very up and down today with some cramping but other than that still feeling okay although somewhat 'pregnant' still.

Hubby has been very good an know that he will do anything to make me feel more at ease so we'll cross that bridge when it happens. He too gets quite nervous and does come out with random things at times of stress but I know it's his way of coping, even though I don't want to hear what funny things 'Dave from work' has been up to.

I am feeling a little bad for not being at work as physically I am able to. It's more the emotional side, knowing that very little things are setting me off and thought that I may start to naturally miscarry at work or worse still in a direct session with a child and how I would handle that.

I was totally gutted this morning when I couldn't do my routine checking of pregnancy app for daily info. I think when we get pregnant again I will definitely not get quite so involved so early. I bought some bigger sized clothes last week too and now I can't even imagine wearing them knowing they were for this pregnancy in mind... Think I'll take them back and treat myself to something nice smile

Any other good coping strategies? I'm open to suggestions!

Eastend2015 Thu 04-Feb-16 19:05:39

You'd be surprised- sometimes hearing what 'Dave from work' has been up to is exactly what you need! Just keep talking eh? It doesn't matter what about.

Retail therapy is another good distraction! I ate a lot, drank a lot, cried a lot and spent time with people who could either cheer me up and give me hugs depending on whatever I needed.

HolaWeenie Thu 04-Feb-16 19:19:54

Sorry you're going through this, every day drags doesn't it, I had a whopping two week wait between my scans ugh. I did go back to work. But when I got the news that we had been dreading I took a week off for medical management etc. it is very difficult emotionally, hoping the best for you.

riddles26 Thu 04-Feb-16 21:17:08

Please don't feel bad about not being at work. I was in exactly the same boat as you when I was off but looking back, I would not have handled it emotionally. If your work is anything like mine, you are expected to be 100% when there. If there is someone you can be with, try and spend time with them. My husband took the first couple of days off then worked from home when it happened to us so I wasn't alone and that helped a lot.

I tried so hard not to get too involved from the beginning but it is no easier to deal with. I avoided referring myself for maternity services until I was 6 weeks just in case but it didn't make a difference and it was just as horrible to go through. I am still terrified of getting pregnant again but just take each day at a time right now and you will start to feel stronger

pa55methecake Fri 05-Feb-16 07:43:12

Thank you for all the comments. I started with cramps and lower back pain yesterday so I feel like things may be about to start naturally. I was hoping to get out of the house today but I don't know what to expect if it suddenly starts so think I may stay put and bake a cake or something instead. Cake has got to help right?

Eastend2015 Fri 05-Feb-16 08:36:56

Cake always helps ☺️, thinking of you cake

pa55methecake Fri 05-Feb-16 18:12:06

I ballsed up the cake so it went in the bin sad thought it would distract me but I was so distracted by feeling rub bush that I got the instructions wrong sad oh dear will just have send hubby on a cake run tomorrow smile

Inwaiting Sat 06-Feb-16 20:24:23

how are you doing today? i've been lurking (so sorry but i just don't know what to say) hope you're ok and thinking of you xx

novemberchild Sun 07-Feb-16 08:39:01

Hello, OP. I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. I went through the same in December when I was told my 11 week pregnancy was only '8 weeks, no heartbeat' and I was certain of my dates.

I did start to bleed about five days after I found out, but it ended up incomplete (a test was still showing positive) and I took misoprostol to complete it about three weeks later.

The anxiety in waiting is horrible, and it was for both me and my husband, who is exactly the same as yours - thank you for sharing that part, because it has made me feel better. I was very hurt that DH was suggesting we book cinema tickets to 'cheer me up' after we got the news and found it quite hard to forgive him for saying it but he never knows what to say in these circumstances.

As for work, I had no choice as I was in retail at Xmas and I had not told anyone that I was pregnant because people did know I had recently had serious marriage issues and I felt ashamed. I don't recommend this - it was hard enough to see the children in the shop so having to constantly interact, rather than just in passing, would have been very painful.

I wish you the very best, unmumsnetty hugs and know that you aren't alone.

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