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Bridesmaid at 36 weeks

(18 Posts)
Cinnamon84 Sat 30-Jan-16 23:27:54

I've been asked to be a bridesmaid at a close friend's wedding, am thrilled, but worked out that if this pregnancy works out (bit nervous due to a previous mc and I'm yet to have my scan next week) I'll be 36 weeks.. Is that going to be possible or do I need to be more realistic?! I won't need to do much apart from be there and look huge but I'm not sure what's manageable so close to due date

sepa Sat 30-Jan-16 23:35:12

I'm 34 weeks and exhausted today. I don't think it's unrealistic but if your planning on still being at work I would see if you can take the day before and day after off also for resting

PrimeraVez Sun 31-Jan-16 07:02:38

I'm 37 weeks and feel like I would be able to do it BUT
- wouldn't be able to wear heels
- have really swollen feet so would feel really self-conscious in a dress that wasn't long enough to cover them
- have gained a lot more weight than I expected so would have been hard to buy a dress to fit
- need to wear a really sturdy bra, which would limit dress choice
- can't stand or sit still for long periods of time
- am knackered and ready for bed by about 10pm each night
- wouldn't want to travel too far from home at this point

So on balance, knowing what I know now, would probably have to decline!

PrimeraVez Sun 31-Jan-16 07:03:01

ps congratulations on the pregnancy :-)

lastnightiwenttomanderley Sun 31-Jan-16 07:12:00

Does she know you're pregnant? I'd have been ok at 36 weeks but it really does vary - I had HELLP and my feet were very swollen but still wore heels right up until DS was born! Also got away with normal bras.
If the commitment on the day is likely to be light, could you accept but make her aware that you might have to pull out if you're really not up to it nearer the time? Id have been ok with this from a bridesmaid, particularly if I could see she was keen and was honest about it.

Mrsantithetic Sun 31-Jan-16 07:20:47

My best friend will be due the week before my wedding. She is my only adult bridesmaid. We are just seeing how she goes. She is getting a maxi dress and flip flips and if she wants to join in at any point she's more than welcome and if she doesn't then that's fine
She seems to think she's going to be fine and dandy to manage all the day if she is still pregnant whilst I'll be surprised if she even wants to come!!!

I'm just expecting her not being there or maybe managing the ceremony at the very most but making sure she is included in the planning andd keeping her in the loop

Impatientwino Sun 31-Jan-16 08:22:15

I was a bridesmaid when pg with my DS at 35 weeks and again at 37 weeks for my SIL. It was fine, I didn't have to do much, wobbled down the aisle then just swanned round in a maternity marquee dress and people kept asking me if I wanted to sit down! I did a few duties and supported both brides with no hassles. Was tired at the end of the days and each time was in bed by about 9pm and ate like a horse in the morning at breakfast but it was really fine and I wouldn't have wanted to miss out.

I'm 34 weeks with DS2 now and would happily do it again.

LucyMouse Sun 31-Jan-16 08:28:35

I'm 35 weeks now. I could manage being a bridesmaid, as long as the bride was forgiving, if for example I suddenly felt faint, couldn't stand up for an hour for photos etc.

GlasgowPingu Sun 31-Jan-16 10:18:39

I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my sister in March however after discovering that I was going to be 38 weeks pregnant I reluctantly declined.
Things to think about:
- impossible to know at this stage how big you're going to get (not just the bump - my breasts, which were non-existent prior to pregnancy, are now massive) which makes dress shopping difficult at best (especially if she's trying to find a dress that will suit you and other non-pregnant bridesmaids)
- if you have problems during the pregnancy and don't in the end feel well enough to be a bridesmaid is there another bridesmaid(s) who could take over?
- are you likely to have to do much? In other words, is she a bit high maintenance and flappy, who will want you to stand for hours on end, wearing ridiculous shoes, for loads of photos etc.?

Bottom line, I would probably wait until your scan and then, if all goes well, have a chat with her and see what she reckons. But bear in mind that not only can you not predict how your pregnancy might progress, you also can't predict if a reasonable friend is going to turn into a batshit mental bridezilla smile

Cinnamon84 Sun 31-Jan-16 13:03:29

Thanks for your responses, I'm glad no one has said I'm being completely naive as I have no idea what expect or how it will be! or if I'll definitely be at that stage then. She's a really lovely close friend and knows the situ, she definitely won't turn into a bridezilla and think I've been asked just so I can be part of her day. I've come to terms with probably being a whale and looking horrendous in photos. The only thing is that I'll be a bit sad to miss out if I'm not feeling up to it but I know I'll have lots of other things going on around then anyway!

AbbeyRoadCrossing Sun 31-Jan-16 14:45:15

I'd say it'll depend on how you feel, how the pregnancy is and where it is.
Also your scan might move your dates slightly.

I'd have felt fine with both my pregnancies. But DC1 was born at 36 weeks so that would've been a problem! DC2 at 39 but I had a condition identified in the 28 week blood tests which mean I had to be near to my hospital.

So as long as she's flexible, go for it

HappyAsASandboy Sun 31-Jan-16 19:07:40

As long as the bride is flexible, go for it!

I was a bridesmaid at 32 weeks with a twin pregnancy! I managed just fine, though I needed a chair during the photos I wasn't involved in and I went to bed at 10.30.

In no account do it if the bride is stressy and inflexible.

Egid86 Sun 31-Jan-16 19:47:29

I'm due to be a bridesmaid at 36 weeks for my brothers wedding. My future sister in law has been amazing. I was losing weight (almost 4 stone) prior to getting pregnant so chose a smaller dress to fit in to... alas now prego I am not sure how it is going to go, it doesn't fit me now even early days. We are planning to have a panel put in and some low heel shoes however she has said nearer the time we can see how I feel and if I even want to wear the dress or whatever. So playing it by ear I think!

MrsSparkles Mon 01-Feb-16 07:30:51

So long as bride is flexible then go for it. I actually gave birth at 36 weeks, but aside from that small fact I could have done it - wasn't uncomfortable at all.

justjodie92 Mon 01-Feb-16 08:22:30

I was a bridesmaid last year at 36 weeks. I'd happily do it again.
Everyone could see I was pregnant and were so helpful etc.
I was even still on the dance floor at 1am, much to my own surprise!

Oysterbabe Mon 01-Feb-16 08:57:09

I had my baby at 35+5..
Just be prepared to change your plans!

HippyPottyMouth Mon 01-Feb-16 09:09:20

I had my daughter at 36 weeks, but would have been happy to be a fat knackered bridesmaid right up until my waters broke. I went to a wedding at about 33 weeks, did a reading, pottered about by the buffet for the evening, was fine but slow. My friend was 39 weeks at the same wedding. She danced until the band stopped playing. As long as your friend is flexible, go for it and see how you feel.

Floweroct2 Tue 02-Feb-16 15:04:41

This is going to be me! So glad people don't think it's a bad idea. We have ordered a dress in a couple of sizes bigger and they will put a panel in it. Bride knew I was pregnant before booking the date and is fine with me doing as much or little as I can manage so fingers crossed all will go ok!

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