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sex very painful during and after pregnancy?

(10 Posts)
Cornberry Fri 29-Jan-16 22:10:49

During my pregnancy I wasn't able to have sex as my vagina was too sore. When my boyfriend and I tried i just couldn't because it was really painful as soon as when he tried to penetrate me. The GP suggested I might have thrush or and infection but I did tests and there was nothing. It was then suggested it was a hormonal thing that some women get, and I thought it would go after the birth. I had a c section so there was no trauma to my vagina, but still when we tried again about three months after the birth it was much too painful. It doesn't hurt at all otherwise, and I have no other symptoms (no itching etc). Then I read that some women experience this as a kind of natural contraceptive while breastfeeding so you don't get pregnant again too soon, and again the hormones are responsible. When my LO was four months, although I'm still BF, my period came back. I thought this might mean my hormones were going back to normal, but still it's much too painful to have sex. I'm planning to continue BF for a while yet, and I'm wondering if anyone has experienced this and eventually gone back to normal? I'm beginning to despair of ever having sex again sad

bluewisteria Fri 29-Jan-16 22:14:28

I think you should go back to your GP insist on a referral to gynae. I have no idea what it could be nor do I have experience of it but it's definitely something you should be referred for to check out.
It must be really tough, hope it is sorted for you soon flowers

Cornberry Sun 31-Jan-16 15:51:06

perhaps you're right,i have been a few times and they seem to think it should pass...

Junosmum Sun 31-Jan-16 16:18:00

What sort of pain? Are you getting well lubricated prior to attempting penetration? I know that hormones can cause dryness which results in pain. Alternatively it could be an issue such as vaginismus.

Cornberry Sun 31-Jan-16 17:08:27

it's difficult to describe but it just feels sore as it goes in. I had a smear test and that was the same. It's not a dryness issue.

StringTheory Sun 31-Jan-16 19:00:43

Could it be psychological? I.e you're tensing up and not relaxing? I have that issue since child birth (2years ago now) so I've finally been referred for therapy.

skankingpiglet Sun 31-Jan-16 19:55:26

I don't know about during pregnancy as both last time and this time my poor DH could be mistaken for believing I'm not actually pregnant but rather on heat blush
However after DD was born I found sex really painful and uncomfortable and absolutely dreaded DH suggesting we give it a go. I was really surprised by it as I'd has no problems at all in that department through pregnancy and had undergone an elcs, so assumed there was no trauma to the area. Thankfully DD was an appalling sleeper so there wasn't much opportunity to dtd, although I did do it a few times as I felt bad for DH for going without. Suddenly around 9 months it was absolutely fine. I would say it happened over night, but we weren't having enough sex to be sure how immediate/gradual it was, but certainly we had sex and it was painful then again a couple of weeks later and everything was back to 'normal'. I put it down to pregnancy/birth having shoved the rest of my innards around into awkward positions and they took a bit of time to return to their original location.
I think in your situation I would visit the GP though as it's been going on for so long.

Cornberry Sun 31-Jan-16 21:36:27

i just can't believe it could be psychological, because although during pregnancy nothing could have been further fro my thoughts than sex, the last couple of months i've been feeling like my sex drive has returned.. I have tried to do it in spite of the pain to see if persevering helps and it really didn't. I am encouraged by your story •skankingpiglet* but yes I think i should go back to the GP, although I'm expecting her to say the same again - wait until you stop breastfeeding. Sigh.

bonzo77 Sun 31-Jan-16 21:55:13

I've experienced something similar, though under different circumstances. It became a vicious cycle as I became so anxious I tensed up.

This is what helped me / us.
1. Talk about it! With your partner.
2. Huge amounts of lube. Even for foreplay. Like seriously more than you ever thought necessary.
3. Relaxing the muscles. Actually that's totally impossible to do. One's natural tendency in these circumstances is to clench. Do the opposite: push. Like you're trying to squeeze the last drop of wee out. Really push down. You cannot clench while doing that. Push as he goes in. Guide him so it's at an angle and speed that suits you. Choose a position where you can do this and be comfortable. Missionary worked for us.

It turned out I actually had a small tear of unknown cause. Definitely not child birth. I had surgery to correct it which worked for a while, maybe 5 years. Then it came back, this time after I'd had my first baby (Caesarian). With a different partner. I did not have further surgery as I hoped for a vbac with my second child. The techniques above really solved the problem.

Cornberry Mon 01-Feb-16 23:39:32

Interesting bonzo. Thank you for the advice. Will try all those things!

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