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Hope after 3 miscarriages??

(37 Posts)
Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 09:58:43

I'm am just wondering if there could be a happy ending for me.

I have just experienced my 3rd miscarriage. I'm absolutely devastated. All 3 miscarriages have been different so I don't think there is an underline problem. At least I hope not.

I did everything I possibly could. The doctor advised my to take aspirin every day, so I did. I took pregnicare, the best possible vitamins. I eat really healthy, I don't drink and I have never smoked. So why is this happening to us?!?!

Is it possible for us to have a baby? I feel like giving up. How many times should I put myself through this? When is enough, enough? 😔

BifsWif Tue 26-Jan-16 10:01:57

I'm so sorry OP. I had one miscarriage before my son was born, and then three in a row before my daughter. Don't give up hope flowers

Will you be referred for any testing? Please have a look online and ask your doctor about cyclogest, or another progesterone supplement. I had to really push but I got it in the end.

Be kind to yourself, and feel free to PM me if you would like to chat flowers

Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 10:10:15

Thank you BifsWif.

It literally only happened yesterday so I think I'm definitely going to push for help from the doctors.

I have waited 6 months inbetween each loss to try again. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong? Maybe I should try straight away?

I didn't mention that I do have a beautiful 3 year old daughter so I know I can carry. I fell pregnant straight away with her and the pregnancy was pretty much perfect all the way through!

I'm so confused.

BifsWif Tue 26-Jan-16 10:15:54

I understand that. I fall pregnant very easily, and all three miscarriages were within a year. I didn't wait before trying again each time, but that's a personal decision and you have to do what you think is best.

I was referred for tests but was pregnant with my daughter at the time so they never went any further than my consultation. I had taken aspirin and all the right vitamins previously but still lost my babies. I firmly believe my progesterone level was too low to sustain a pregnancy, this was never confirmed but the pregnancy I started taking cyclogest resulted in my daughter. A lot of doctors won't prescribe it but mine did, as its a 'can't hurt, might help' medication. It's something to bear in mind at least.

If you don't mind me asking, how far along were you? Do you have a lot of support around? X

BifsWif Tue 26-Jan-16 10:17:31

Meant to add, my consultant told me that it doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong, sometimes it is just bad luck and there is every chance your next pregnancy will be healthy and successful x

Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 10:29:04

Same here, I have no problem getting pregnant, just can't hold on to them.

The fist time was January last year at 11 weeks, 2nd was July at 7 weeks then this time I was only roughly 5 weeks, didn't get a scan with this one with being too early so it's a guesstimate.

The first was the worst as it was quite big and I felt like I had lost a baby. The 2nd loss was a blighted ovam so there was never really anything there to begin with, just a bunch of cells. With this one I have no idea.

My husband is very supportive and most of my family is supportive.

Think I'm going to push for the tests and the cyclogest drug but might just try very soon again. Thank you so much for your advise.

I hope you dont take this the wrong way but it's nice to know that there are other women that have been through it and still gone on to have a healthy pregnancy afterwards. X

NotSpeaking Tue 26-Jan-16 11:30:09

I had 3 miscarriages, then a healthy son. I'm now 39 weeks pregnant again. I knows its hard but don't give up. I've been where you are. If you want to send me a message I'm happy to talk x

Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 11:33:11

Thank you. I'm defo not going to give up now. If I did give up then this is all for nothing.

Wombat87 Tue 26-Jan-16 11:34:12

I have no experience in the making of healthy babies OP, I just didn't want to read and run. Am currently dealing with a missed miscarriage. Which eventually became not missed. Went for a 10week scan Saturday in the hope to tell parents this week, only to be told our baby had no heartbeat and died around 9weeks. It kicked off naturally Saturday evening. I hope you're okay. It isn't fair thanks

steppemum Tue 26-Jan-16 11:40:09

Hi Op.
I have 3 children, and have had 4 miscarriages. It is so hard isn't it? Please don't give up.

I read a very helpful book by the doctor who runs the clinic in London which is supposed to be the centre of miscarriage research etc.
She outlined all the many reasons for miscarriage and their treatment (and there are many)
BUT she then said that if you have taken one pregnancy to term, then all of the many reasons for miscarriage don't apply. In other works, hard and sad as it is, it is just bad luck that you have had a run of 3.

If your body did it once, it can do it again.
good luck to you flowers

Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 11:49:33

Thank you everyone for your kind words.
It's such an unknown territory isn't it. There is usually no explanation. Like you say, it's just pure luck! X

MaryPoppinsPenguins Tue 26-Jan-16 11:52:00

Don't lose hope. I had my DD very easily... Then 7 miscarriages before finally having DD2. After 3 miscarriages they should definitely be referring you, at least for blood tests xx

HumTiddlyTum Tue 26-Jan-16 11:54:29

It is completely possible you will go on to have your baby, don't give up hope. I had a DC in 2013, 3 MC this year and am currently 30 weeks pregnant.

Push for testing from your GP but it may also be worth having a nose at the recurrent miscarriage thread on here. A lot of the ladies have been to Coventry university hospital for private testing and there seems to have been very positive results! For what it's worth my current pregnancy is the result of a last ditch attempt, I wasn't willing to put my body through anymore but luckily it has stuck.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it is an unbearable pain but you will get there.

Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 11:56:28

7 miscarriages?!! Oh gosh! How on earth did you cope? Hope you don't mind me asking but did you fall pregnant naturally with DD2 with no help?

Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 11:58:19

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Ooh thank you I'll take a look at that then. X

MaryPoppinsPenguins Tue 26-Jan-16 12:02:07

I'm not sure where in the country you are but I was referred to see Mr Shehata at Epsom hospital and after two cycles was pregnant...

It was hard. I wanted to give up every time but DH was sure that the next time would be the time so we would try again. I said that the 8th time was definitely going to be my last try, because I was physically and mentally exhausted... But she's 2 now and I'm so glad I carried on smile (despite the fact she has a sickness bug she's also given to everyone in the house!)

ZiggyFartdust Tue 26-Jan-16 12:06:13

I had 4 m/c, after my older children. I was offered testing after the last one but turned it down as I decided not to go through it all again and was going to get sterilised...when I accidentally got pregnant with my youngest. Never expected it to stick but it did!

Snoopy27 Tue 26-Jan-16 12:10:44

I here of this a lot, people giving up then falling pregnant and everything being ok.
My family keep saying 'try not to think about it' or 'it will happen when you least expect it' but it's hard not too 'try'.

NotSpeaking Tue 26-Jan-16 12:23:14

You can't not think about it. Just give yourself time. It's so emotionally draining you don't want to burn yourself out. Plus it puts such a strain on your relationship.

butterfly86 Tue 26-Jan-16 12:36:57

I'm sorry for your miscarriages snoopy, I had 4 devastating miscarriages before we finally got our dd, I too thought I would never get the happy ending but I did, as long as you have the strength to keep trying then do I knew I wasn't ready to give up as hard as it was. The things that I did differently in my successful pregnancy were progesterone pessaries that were prescribed by my consultant and accupuncture that I paid for myself. I had all 4 in 11 months, we then had a 6 month break before I got pregnant again. You will get there, big hugs and the best of luck x

FourForYouGlenCoco Tue 26-Jan-16 12:53:43

I'm so sorry, you've had such a hard time. I've also had 3 MC and have one healthy daughter. First one was a missed miscarriage, found at 13 weeks, baby died at 10 weeks. I was completely devastated but went on to have DD with absolutely no problems. That was in 2012, last year we started trying again, fell straight away, another mmc, found at nearly 11 weeks. That was a blighted ovum so baby had never developed at all. That was August. In October had an early MC/chem pg at 4/5 weeks.
At this point I honestly thought it wasn't going to happen for us. I was convinced DD was a fluke and would stay an only forever. It was not a good time. I was pretty angry with myself, everyone else, everything.
That cycle (straight after the chem pg) I fell pregnant and will be 14 weeks on Friday. It's been absolutely terrifying and I still can't let myself believe we will meet this baby, but I keep hope.
Because my miscarriages weren't consecutive and I fell so quickly each time, I didn't get any testing or anything. Plus, like you, mine were all very different and could be put down to just really shitty luck - which now I think it probably was. But everyone is different and it might well be worth it for you to get some tests done, even if it's just to put your mind at rest that there's no underlying cause.
I also couldn't "forget about it" or "relax". I read all the stories that said 'relax and it will happen'! I was completely obsessed. It was obviously not good for me mentally, but it didn't affect falling pregnant, not one jot. Don't worry about 'trying'. If stress really affected conception that much, the human race would be dying out by now rather than overpopulating the world wink
Good luck. I wish no one ever had to go through the shittiness that is MC. I do so hope it happens for you soon.

Snoopysimaginaryfriend Tue 26-Jan-16 13:06:56

hi snoopy (love your name). I'm so sorry for your losses. I too suffered three miscarriages but I am now 24 weeks pregnant and, touch wood, everything looks great so far. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve. There is a thread for people who have suffered recurrent miscarriage on the pregnancy loss board which was very helpful to me, the ladies are all very knowledgable and very kind and there are many success stories on there. They have also collated different treatment plans they were on if you would find it helpful?

Totallyoutoforder Tue 26-Jan-16 13:11:21

OP I had a mc at 5weeks then a mmc at 12weeks then 2 healthy DC without any problem. Have faith. Nature it is.

SomebodySedateMe Tue 26-Jan-16 13:48:43

snoopy I had 4 miscarriages with no obvious underlying cause. It's heartbreaking and impossible but please don't give up hope. I'm currently 36+5 and fell pregnant naturally. It can happen so please don't give up.

brookeberry Tue 26-Jan-16 14:05:27

Hi snoopy sorry you are going through this. I had 3 mcs at very similar timelines to yours. I got pregnant again and it was suggested I try cyclogest, so I did, and now I'm over 28 weeks and all is good. Who knows if the cyclogest played a part, but it's definitely worth a shot. I'll be honest, I had kind of lost hope, but now I know that mcs can be random (I had no underlying cause found). So absolutely keep going for it - you've already proved you can with your DD. Do it in your own time - wait, don't wait, whatever is right for you. smile

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