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Anyone else struggling with being pregnant and having a toddler?

(22 Posts)
foxessocks Mon 18-Jan-16 18:05:26

My poor dd has been given some very strange meals recently because I can't prepare food as it is making me feel so sick. I feel sick and tired all the time and am definitely not playing physical games so much with her which she loves like chasing and hide and seek.

This evening I've reached a low point. Dh is working late and I've given my dd toast for dinner. Just toast. I feel so guilty like I've totally spoiled all the fun we had before by getting pregnant! Which is ridiculous I know.

Just wondered if anyone else feels the same or has been in this position and can offer me hope?!

My dd is 2 btw.

NotSpeaking Mon 18-Jan-16 18:10:16

Don't worry about it. On the bad days stick dd infront of the TV. I had horrendous morning sickness and that's all I could do. It isn't forever and I know how dibilitating it can be. Don't feel guilty, she will have a new friend to play with soon. You can make it up to her when you are better

Jw35 Mon 18-Jan-16 18:42:48

Oh god yes! Dd is 12 months and nausea has been awful! I'm 12 weeks. I feel your pain! I can't even look at food I can't eat let alone prepare it! Dd had ryvita and cheese for lunch the other day!

Runningupthathill82 Mon 18-Jan-16 18:46:07

Yes, it's so, so hard! 39 weeks now, just gone on mat leave, but chasing three-year-old DS around all day is harder than work.
Frankly, on my first maternity leave, I didn't know I was born blush I could nap, I could go swimming alone, I could read, I could lie in - now the chaos starts at 7am each morning whether I like it or not.
I might beg to be kept in hospital overnight when Dc2 is born, just for a rest!

LetThereBeCupcakes Mon 18-Jan-16 18:48:46

Hi foxes! Same here. I bought some travel sickness bands today which has taken the edge off the nausea. Got a bit over confident and tried making pasta sauce. Fortunately DH arrived home in time to take over.

Fortunately we've got a fair amount stocked in the freezer already. Can somebody whip up some bolognaise or something that you can freeze in portions for your DD? Otherwise try not to worry. This too shall pass...

Shirkingfromhome Mon 18-Jan-16 18:56:39

Don't feel bad OP. First trimester and a toddler is the stuff of nightmares. I'm 32 wks now and have a 2 yr old, chasing after him is getting harder and I haven't been as patient with him sometimes.

Agree about the batch cooking and getting meals in the freezer. Failing that get some ready meals in - Annabel Carmel does a range. It's not perfect but whatever gets you through the day!

MoreGilmoreGirls Mon 18-Jan-16 19:00:31

Don't feel bad OP. I gave a two yr old and am 14 weeks the sickness is just starting to pass thank goodness but DS does love rough a tumble which I'm not so good at anymore. As others have said this will pass. Just do what you can. Have you got any family nearby that could help out? Good luck flowers

Artandco Mon 18-Jan-16 19:02:14

Definitely cheat food wise. Can you get microwave rice and get Dh to batch make some meals. Then you can just microwave and go if needed

Runningupthathill82 Mon 18-Jan-16 19:23:28

DS has never eaten so much scrambled egg on toast in his life. Today, his dinner was half a carton of soup and a slice of buttery toast. Needs must!

foxessocks Mon 18-Jan-16 19:24:09

Thanks everyone. I do need to sort out some freezer meals or ready meals. I've just been so exhausted that I've just not managed to organise anything. It's very frustrating because I'm normally so organised. I've managed to do a food shop online today which was long overdue so might add some "cheat" food for emergencies. To be fair dh is happy to cook dinner as long as he's home in time. Just days like today when he isn't I need another option! Dh gave dd some of his pizza when he got in blush after her measly toast she got from me.

Glad it's not just me and I do hope this passes soon. I was sick for a very log time with dd1...

I'm so tired I can't think straight!

waxweasel Mon 18-Jan-16 19:58:55

Oh you have to just do whatever you can to survive day by day at this stage - I feel for you, it's so tough. I was really sick until about week 20, and for a while could barely handle even opening the fridge. DD (also 2) lived on toast, baked beans, dippy eggs, fish finger sandwiches. I could barely move most days and we just watched tv and played games on the ipad.

I'm now 28 weeks and the sickness is gone (thank Christ) but I am massive, exhausted and ache everywhere. She wants me to chase her around and play hide and seek, and I just can't be arsed. It's killing me sitting on the floor all day playing with her. But it's a short time, and overall they'll gain so much more by having a sibling. They'll come to no harm eating toast and watching tv non-stop for 9 months smile

Does your DD go to childcare at all? Mine is in nursery 3 days a week when I'm in work and that has been my salvation - makes me feel less guilty as I know she gets proper meals and stimulation there! And also means I get a break if I'm off work sick on one of those days...

foxessocks Mon 18-Jan-16 20:13:17

Thanks for your kind words wax.

No my dd isn't in nursery yet she's due to start preschool in September (unfortunately when baby is due but that's another thread for another day!). They didn't have any places any sooner. I work part time from home but only a few evenings. It's been quiet so I haven't had much work on but that will be changing this week. No idea how I'm going to manage working all evening as well on those days. It makes me feel quite panicky!

Artandco Mon 18-Jan-16 20:18:55

Tip - buy avocados. They are super healthy, so no guilt in giving. Serve cold so not cooking. Doesn't smell if you fill ill. And a boiled egg/ toast/ cheese or whatever and it's no guilt healthy meal.

foxessocks Mon 18-Jan-16 20:24:27

Thank you. I actually don't like avacados so I never buy them! Dd has never even tried one. ..good time to try them!

OhShutUpThomas Mon 18-Jan-16 20:25:47

I'm 8 weeks, got a 3 year old and a 1year old.
It's really hard. I'm feeling ill some days and not others, but tired every day. I got some medication which really seems to take the edge off the nausea as I was really struggling. Could you go to the GP and see what they'll give you?

It's so hard isn't it? But this too will pass flowers

celeste83 Mon 18-Jan-16 20:35:25

I feel for you all. I'm pregnant with first child and finding it tough going let alone without a toddler in tow. I salute each and everyone and you.

waxweasel Mon 18-Jan-16 21:34:03

Oh wow, I'm in awe - no way could I cope with 5 days a week with my toddler while pregnant. You're doing amazingly.

And I think it sounds like preschool will come at the perfect time - you'll get a few hours to just deal with the baby, and she'll get out of the house and do some fun things so you don't feel guilty that you can't play with her more when you're dealing with a newborn x

Machine123 Tue 19-Jan-16 01:59:14

In the first trimester with a super demanding toddler hanging off me and DP at work all hours. The exhaustion is killing me.

Jenjen85 Tue 19-Jan-16 08:09:44

foxessocks in exactly the same situation as you. Felt so bad yesterday I had to get in bed. Luckily my DD snuggled next to me and played on the tablet but I do feel very bad as we used to do loads in an afternoon when I'd finished work. I'm hoping once I get past the first trimester we can go back to fun afternoons and not having to spend them in bed feeling ill.

Picklesauage Tue 19-Jan-16 09:44:06

You are doing great!
Please keep saying that to yourself. Your DD is happy and healthy, the odd toast dinner won't kill her. My friends nutritionist told her to look at what a child eats across a week or two, not a day and that is a better gauge of how healthy they eat.
So a few mad meals won't matter, also it is good that they change how they play. If she only ever did physical chasing games before, she is probably developing new skills now. Even if it is concentrating on tv for longer periods, focus and concentration are actually valid skills!
Finally she is getting a sibling, this is a lifelong bonus (or bane!). It will be beneficial in many ways (not to say being an only doesn't have its oneness set of benefits, as it surely does too). It is only for a few months I know tithe guilt is incredible, but you are doing great.

Thetruthfairy Tue 19-Jan-16 17:40:58

I'm feeling exactly the same. My poor boy just wants to play outside but I can't find the energy to go out at all.
For tea I have been doing a picnic type meal every other night. Cold cheese, ham, fruit, nuts placed on a plate. He has all his food groups so I feel okay about it.
It won't last forever! but it sure feels like it will xx

foxessocks Tue 19-Jan-16 18:08:34

Thanks everyone. I am trying my best to do what I can and just taking it a day at a time. Your kind words are so helpful. I feel my worst in the evenings so dinnertime is really hard. And to all of you feeling the same I hope you all feel better soon and can start enjoying your pregnancies. I will be so grateful just to eat a nice big plate of food again! smile

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