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Desperate but terrified to have a baby!!

(3 Posts)
Xilvey Fri 15-Jan-16 17:27:25

Hey ladies, I'm new to this website but I seriously need some advice. I feel me and my partner are ready for a baby, its all I think about, its all I talk about and I've done nothing but research all the worst possibilities of pregnancy and I'm still SO excited!!

But we haven't yet started trying, were having a little money trouble as I've been forced to leave work. I suffer from severe anxiety and panic attacks and have done all my life and I'm very scared that this is going to affect my ability to be a mother...

I would 100% always take care of baby and myself, there's no doubt in my mind that I won't be able to care for a baby, what concerns me is hurting my baby during stress in pregnancy or struggling to provide properly for our baby. My partner has a very good pay job and I claim disability benefits, but just hard for us to get out of our overdraft at the moment.

I plan on waiting until were back in the black anyway, but does anyone have any advice for me?

Sophia1984 Fri 15-Jan-16 18:39:59

Hi Xilvey I've heard people say that if you waited till the 'perfect' moment to have a baby, no one would ever have one. I think this is especially true if you're a naturally anxious person. Me and my partner get by, but are certainly not rolling in money but I know we won't need to pay for childcare as my partner is a freelancer, I work from home part-time and my mum is nearby, so we can share that out. Do you have family close by who can step in to help if need be?

In terms of the anxiety and panic, I would try and get some help dealing with that, as getting pregnant has made my anxiety worse. I'm going to get consultant-led care and a referral for psychiatric help, but if I could do things over, I would have tried to get a handle on this first. Not saying you need to be completely 'fixed' but it would definitely have helped me to already have some coping strategies for the anxiety of the first trimester!

Xilvey Fri 15-Jan-16 19:24:40

Thank you so much for your reply!! And I've been getting coucnelling, hypnotherapy and I'm on medication but I plan on coming off my medication in march (maybe to start trying!!) I'd be a stay at home mum as well as my mum and my in laws live just down the road. I'm always worse in the winter though so if I go through my first trimester in the summer, I don't think I'll be as bad?

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