Im hoping someone might be able to give me some advice. I used to have a good relationship with my inlaws, until I fell pregnant with DC1 and it all changed.
While I was pregnant, we chose godparents in advance of the baby being born. My husbands family are very anti religion and in my religion, you must have made your confirmation to be a godparent. My brother in law didn't meet the criteria so we chose my sister and my husband's best friend (who is more like a brother to him). I spoke to my priest about involving my brother in law and he said we could have him as a sort of witness on the day. Basically, when we told my inlaws, they were furious at our decision! Their son apparently had a 'right' to be godfather! It was hellish! I found myself apologising profusely which I now regret!
Next thing was once my daughter was born, I chose to breastfeed her! She was very sick as a baby and lots of reflux etc which meant she fed much more than average! She always gained the perfect amount of weight and thrived, but it was hard work for me. I was happy to do it though! They basically kept going behind my back to my husband and telling him I needed to put my daughter on formula and that I wasn't producing enough milk. My MIL would say to him that it didn't mean I was a failure, just breastfeeding wasn't right for everyone! I was having no issue breastfeeding and I know the reason they were saying this as it was getting in the way of them getting to take over! They didn't like the fact my child needed me so formula feeding would have solved that problem for them!
There have been hundreds of other incidents but there's a couple to give you an idea.
My dc1 is now 2 and basically they have no respect for our authority as parents. If they are with us and I tell my DC not to touch something, they will take her straight over to touch it! If I give her into trouble, they will shake their heads and tut that I shouldn't be giving her into trouble! We live a far drive from them and they want to come to stay when this baby is born and they want to come for a week! I just can't bare the thought! My husband is great and tells them when they're being out of line, but they take no notice!
I've recently been diagnosed with a potentially life threatening condition and all they wanted to ask is if it was hereditary! They had no interest once they realised it won't affect their bloodline!
I just feel so stressed about this and don't want to stand in the way of them having a relationship with their grandchildren, but it's just so difficult please help.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Pregnancy
Anxiety about the inlaws!
8 replies
Fairygodmotherx · 14/01/2016 11:40
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.