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Felling like a failure

(7 Posts)
Hollymilli14 Wed 13-Jan-16 09:59:01

Currently 7+3 weeks.
And I have a 18 month old dd . I feel absolutely horrendous, constantly sick and tired and have literally zero energy. Feeling like a complete failure towards my dd.
I feel so guilty that I'm not myself and giving her my full attention. All I feel like doing though is falling asleep with my head in a bucket (for the sickness)
Hormones are all over the place so obviously doesn't help. confused
I just want to feel like a good mum again and also enjoy being pregnant 🙈

Sorry for the downer..
Just needed to vent a bit.

Does anybody else feel similar or is it just me!!!!

Sunshine511 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:17:16

Awwww please don't feel bad about this! You're doing your best and it's not easy feeling that ill and having another child to take care of! I was in your situation exactly and I can promise you, things will get better! It's just about getting through each day! I struggled making my DD lunch and dinner because of all my food aversions, but I managed that. The rest of the time, I struggled getting off the couch because of the constant nausea! My daughter has never watched TV so much as she did in those early weeks! Do you have friends/family around who can help out? Unfortunately my husband works away often and my family live about 9 hour drive away so I really just had to muddle through as best I could!!! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!! Just please don't feel guilty. You're doing something incredible by bringing a child into the world and a sibling for your existing child. It's important to remember that. Sending hugs flowers

goodnightdarthvader1 Wed 13-Jan-16 12:04:44

I'm amazed at pregnant women who do it with a toddler, too. So much of what I've read on MN has put me off completely! I think I'll try for baby no2 when DD is around 7 years old ...

You're a bloody hero, woman, and don't let anyone tell you different. Pregnancy (and toddlers) are hard work!

Have you seen your doctor for the sickness? I recommend Promethazine or Prochlorperazine (or both!). Promethazine worked on my queasy-type "I'm on a boat!" sickness, whereas Prochlorperazine worked on the low-level general nausea.

Feel better soon flowers

Everythinggettingbigger Wed 13-Jan-16 12:39:59

I found out I was pg with DS2 when DS1 was 4 so bit of a difference to having an 18mo sorry but will say it was hard work in the beginning and I felt awful every night. I work 40 hours a week with a half hour commute so didn't get home until around 6ish each night, by which time I would sit on the couch and not have an ounce of energy to get back up again! DP would make the tea and do the dishes an then put DS1 to bed and then I would sit with him until he fell asleep, at which point I would too! that was my life for a good few weeks!! im now 21 weeks and definitely have more energy!!

it will get better flowers

GrouchyKiwi Wed 13-Jan-16 12:50:33

I felt the same way when I was pregnant with DD2, and now that I'm pregnant with DC3. It's hard not to.

DD1 was about 20 months when I was 7 weeks with DD2. She watched a lot of DVDs while I lay on the sofa. We could cuddle while she was watching, though, so that helped.

Now I've got a nearly 4 year old, and a 17 month old. In the first trimester I was utterly shattered and turned to DVDs again.

I think you just have to remember that it's for a very short time in their lives, and it will get better. I'm now 21 weeks along and have a lot more energy.

Hollymilli14 Wed 13-Jan-16 13:20:21

Thank you all for your kind words. And I'm actually glad I'm not the only one lol.
Yes pepper pig seems to be taking over the house at the moment on television. Keeping her occupied brilliantly 🙈
The weather is so lovely (though cold) where I am that every day I've been waking up determined to just go for a stroll with her. But then sickness hits too hard and the sofa becomes more appealing.
I k ow it's not forever and will be so worth it. I suppose I will have more time to make up to her once I'm past this first trimester and my energy comes back (hopefully)


Figwin Wed 13-Jan-16 13:25:09

The only parents failing are the ones who abuse and don't love their dc. You are doing what you can in a situation that is tiring and stressful. You will feel shit for a while but fingers crossed you will be better in the next trimester. Just do all you can for her and show her you love her like I'm sure you are anyway. And take care of yourself. In the long run this is such a small segment of all your lives x

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