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Partner wont come near me....

(8 Posts)
Everythinggettingbigger Tue 12-Jan-16 14:27:13

Anyone else's partners not find pregnancy attractive?

Im 21 weeks today and already cant see my feet! its my second pregnancy, the first I put a huge amount of weight on, covered in stretch marks etc so I always put it down to that, this time round i'm yet to put any weight on, so must have actually lost some, not a stretch mark in sight...yet (my DS is 5 so they have had plenty of time to disappear) but it took a long time....I mean about 4 years for me to feel confident again and to get any kind of sex drive back. I honestly just had sex to keep him happy until about a year ago, I was never forced but it just didn't do anything for me before anyone thinks the worst. I lost a lot of weight at the beginning of last year and felt amazing, my confidence rocketed and we had a really good sex life (hence getting pregnant again) but now its like he just isn't interested again and im worried its going to be the same again, taking a long time to get back to normal. I was starting to even think my feelings were towards him and that's why I didn't want to, not my confidence.

How do I bring this up with him? Im actually a bit embarrassed to talk to him about it and I don't know why.

Sorry for the long TMI

sepa Tue 12-Jan-16 15:11:38

I think you need to speak to him about it (not much help I know)
Have you tried to make the moves on him? It could be that he does want to but after the last pregnancy doesn't want to make you feel like you have to sleep with him?

You shouldn't feel embarrassed about it, although I know where your coming from with it as I'm the same. Me and OH haven't slept together in forever because by the evening I'm exhausted and in the morning everything is a rush to get to work etc (and I feel about as sexy as a butchered pig).

MYA2016 Tue 12-Jan-16 16:27:23

Not that this helps but I'm due tomorrow and haven't had sex since we found out in May that I was pregnant :-) I didn't want it, then he didn't want it, then neither of us wanted it. Now I want it to get things going but he finds it too weird. I have got really upset about it at times as we've only just been married a year and I miss it. But we still have a great relationship so I'm sure it'll hopefully go back to normal eventually.
We have discussed it a few times, there's no easy way to approach it but getting it off your chest will help

Featherstep Tue 12-Jan-16 17:10:35

You're not the only one feeling like this and it does affect your confidence. I'm the same, getting nada and a bit upset, but I think I've accepted this is it for me until after the birth. We did it once at about 4-5 months in, but it was awkward and not that sexy. Since then nothing despite me complaining a few times. DH says it's weird and doesn't want to hurt the baby but I think that is only part of the truth - I think he's just not as interested in me with my bulging belly, but he doesn't want to admit that.

Maybe find a quiet moment when you have his attention and tell him you really miss the intimacy and would like to connect with him on that level again?

For now, hopefully you get some cuddles and kisses to stay intimate, and the hope is things will return to normal afterwards!

JellyBaby26 Wed 13-Jan-16 08:40:14

My DH found having sex weird when I was pg last time and we only had it about 3 times in 9 months.

Am nearly 19 weeks this time and we are having loads of it.we spoke about it because it upset me how little we had it last time so I think you need to discuss it with him. He may just find it a bit odd...

Champagneformyrealfriends Wed 13-Jan-16 08:45:11

At really inappropriate moments, DH will say "am I squashing the baby?!"

Kind of kills the mood.

Everythinggettingbigger Wed 13-Jan-16 09:12:18

Thanks everyone, I'm not alone! I thought I would give him a chance last night, he actively stopped himself without going into too much detail......definitely think I will be talking to him about it tonight its doing nothing for my confidence.

JellyBaby26 Wed 13-Jan-16 09:43:03

I think mine thought he'd be tapping her on the head.....

I should be so lucky!!!!

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