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Can I have a really ungrateful spoilt overdue moan

(19 Posts)
loveulotslikejellytots Sat 09-Jan-16 20:49:22

Am 41 weeks today. DH and I have lovely (huge) families and seemingly loads of lovely friends who are excited about our first dc being born. DH has gone to work tonight, since he left at 4pm I've had 12 text messages/whatsapp messages/phone calls from above mentioned friends/family asking if there's any news, any niggles, where's this baby then, have you had her yet?????

Before I was pregnant I'd read these type of threads and think, don't be so miserable, people are just excited. But oh my lord it's so overwhelming! I've got a sweep booked tomorrow, which I'm terrified about. DH told mil that we were going tomorrow (which I don't have a problem with him telling her, we get on really well), but now it seems the whole family know and for some reason it's made me cry. (Stupid hormones I hope rather than me being a bit precious). But it just seems like such a personal thing that I wouldn't have told everyone, but we didn't explicitly tell mil not to tell anyone.

I tried to go for a bath earlier, left my phone on charge in the bedroom. Heard a couple of texts come through while it was running, thought I'll check it after and get in the bath. Then it rang twice but I was in the bath, so left it. Then the house phone rings. Then it rings again. And again, so now I'm thinking someone must really need me. Haul my fat arse out of the bath to find that it's only mil checking I'm ok because I hadn't replied to her text. That she'd sent all of 15 minutes previously.

People are just being nice I know that and I'm probably being a bit of a twat. If this sweep doesn't work I'll be induced at some point next week. It's making me consider asking DH if we can not tell anyone anything about anything from now on. I really don't want to do that but it just feels like there's no privacy left and now I feel bad for wanting a bit of privacy. I'm a very private person anyway so that probably doesn't help.

tinyme135 Sat 09-Jan-16 20:56:09

I'm due tomorrow and both mine and DP phones have been going off like crazy. I saw my nan tonight and kept having tightening and she's like he's coming he's coming. I was like no it's just tightening.

I'm hoping he does come soon I can't handle everyone asking now let alone if I go over.

I hope everything goes well for you hun and just ignore them all if you can flowers

Fluffy24 Sat 09-Jan-16 20:57:53

Aww OP have some flowerscake and brew!

It is horrendous, i remember the same, trying to rest, the phone going all the time, and if you ignore it everyone starts getting overexcited. I think they all forget that they're only one of a dozen people all contacting you daily too!

Can you text everyone and let them know that you are going to be switching your phone off for the next few days so you can rest, and to contact your DH if they want an update?

I also found it quite stifling after delivery, everyone wanted to visit and stay for ages - I joked with a friend that the next time we'd wait a fortnight before we told anyone baby had arrived!

Good luck OP!

loveulotslikejellytots Sat 09-Jan-16 21:02:57

Oh no tiny, I made the mistake of mentioning backache about 10 days ago I front of some friends. They were almost boiling kettles and grabbing towels.

loveulotslikejellytots Sat 09-Jan-16 21:11:57

Thanks fluffy, I am tempted to switch of my phone but I'm not sure if that will make it worse, in that people assume something is happening!

I'm trying not to think about visitors just yet. It's bad enough being told your choice of hospital is inconvenient for visiting! Basically I haven't chosen the nearest hospital to my parents house, but rather the one that we feel has the best facilities (we're in between the two hospitals, both are exactly 15 miles in opposite directions), but I could have considered them and their travelling time when choosing. hmm

PixieChops Sat 09-Jan-16 21:38:21

I had the same thing, you're within your rights to be a bit peeved about it. It doesn't make you sound horrible at all. You need some space, you're overdue, anxious probably about giving birth and not being able to get yourself in your mindset for tomorrow. I've had a sweep, it's not that bad, just a bit uncomfortable so please don't worry thanks
Is there anyway you could message a few of the "keen" ones and just say for example:
Going to have a bath and relax for a bit. If there's any news I'll contact you smile
I must admit I snapped at my best friend in the end as hearing "has she not arrived yet" every am and pm was really pissing me off. Funnily enough she didn't say that with my second. She's still my best friend.
People do get a bit over excited and being heavily pregnant it's kind of not what you want right now. I remember being 41 weeks and just thinking I wanted this baby out of me right now! I was so uncomfortable so them pointing out that she wasn't here just made me feel worse.
At least you'll have lots of helping hands when you bring your new bundle home.
Make sure when they come round though that they stick the kettle on and bring you stuff (food etc) don't be bloody doing any hosting. brew
Hope your sweep gets things moving for you and enjoy your childbirth and meeting your new little one.

KeyboardMum Sat 09-Jan-16 21:54:34

Wow. I'm only 13 weeks into mine but if I was in your shoes, they would irritate the crap out of me. Personally, I would stop being so responsive and send out a mass text message to everyone mithering me saying something like:

"Hi everyone, thanks for thinking of us, we really appreciate it! Will let you know when when we have progress with baby. Please stop harassing me for now though, as it's a bit stressful"

Probably best to put your foot down now because, from what I've heard, adjusting to your newborn can be quite stressful and the last thing you want is your phone going off all the time.

loveulotslikejellytots Sat 09-Jan-16 22:23:33

The replies are getting shorter and shorter!

DH has just called, he's got more messages and missed calls too grin He's getting a bit fed up too. Induction is likely to be Thursday if nothing happens, he's suggested saying its Saturday if anyone asks! It's hard because his family are all really close and share everything. Hourly updates were common when nieces and nephews were born on his side!

If it wasn't for the in laws having our dog when the time comes, no bugger would be told anything! grin

Icklepickle101 Sat 09-Jan-16 23:35:27

I've had this already, deposits only being 37 weeks and an ELCS booked for the 21st hmm

I've sent out a generic text "thanks for asking and I know you are excited but I will let you know when baby arrives, asking for updates is waking me up/stressing me out more than being overdue!!

We also told everyone we are having ELCS on the 22nd even though it's booked for the 21st to stop harrasment on the day so I would definitely delay the induction day if telling excited family!

originalusernamefail Sat 09-Jan-16 23:41:51

Only 40+1 here but been having random contractions since Xmas day and just ready for go time now! My mum is peeved that she booked the first half of next week off and it doesn't look like baby will be here. As for all the 'any news?' texts, may I recommend replying 'Oh yes they arrived ages ago we just didn't tell anyone ' the shock may buy you 5 mins peace grin.

toohardtothinkofaname Sun 10-Jan-16 06:53:42

For those who it isn't too late, lay the groundwork early on by telling people how stressful you'd find it & how daft that people would think you'd have the baby & not tell them. I did this & no one has been texting for updates, bliss!

On induction day I'll be sending out a group text explaining phone going off & next time they'll hear is when he's here

SewSlapdash Sun 10-Jan-16 08:00:02

I had this until DS finally arrived at 40+12. What got me mist was that people didn't seem to understand is that if they were getting impatient, how the hell did they think I felt? hmm

Lotsofplanetshaveanorth Sun 10-Jan-16 08:19:18

I had this too. My parents were obviously disappointed when ds hadn't arrived at 40+3 so drove 70 miles to come and visit us. As if that would make him magically appear. Best of luck in the last few days.

Fluffy24 Sun 10-Jan-16 09:15:12

Oh jellytots you should be glad to have an inconvenient hospital for visitors, sounds like good planning to me - one of my biggest bug bears was/is that open hospital visiting hours, eg 3-5pm appear to everyone like just turning up unannounced and staying for 2 hours is perfectly reasonable. I was in hospital for 48 hours( ELCS) but during that time I just wanted to be with DS and DH and didn't want anyone disturbing us, visitors were hell after the first 10 mins.

In combination with fibbing about when your induction is, what about what my friend appeared to do and after the birth send round a message saying 'Little tot is finally here, 7lb looks like we'll be sent home in a couple of hours" so that nobody started to think they were going to hospital to visit, then when it's past the last visiting time "oh there's been a delay getting such-and-such signed off, we're staying until the morning, we'll phone when we're home" and so on - they appeared to have their bags packed ready to leave for about 3 days and whilst her mother was really unimpressed my friend, DD and DH had 3 peaceful days in hospital just the 3 of them!

PissPotPourri Sun 10-Jan-16 09:25:53

Any sign of baby yet? wink

toohardtothinkofaname Sun 10-Jan-16 09:57:43

Haha pisspot!

I'm the opposite Fluffy; the visiting rooms are too small so we want parents to visit us at hospital so it's too uncomfortable for them to overstay their welcome. They've been pre-warned if they can't make it they'll have to wait until we've had a few quiet days alone at home. The in-laws are courteous but I know my parents would stay for hours if they could, especially if it was at our home. And they'd get us to make the brews!

loveulotslikejellytots Sun 10-Jan-16 11:08:02

Waiting for my sweep pisspot grin

DH is doorman over visitors, at home and hospital. It's likely I'll be kept in 24 hours even if everything is straight forward as that's the procedure in the hospital im going to (I can't use the midwife led unit, so even though t I'm not high risk I'll be using the delivery suite). Depending on the time everything happens etc it can mean that visitors aren't able to come to hospital.

When my friend gave birth at the same hospital, she had her dd at lunchtime and text people she wanted to visit that we could come up at 4. We got a mad phone call at 3:30 to say that she still hasn't moved off of delivery, wasn't showered etc so we might need to leave it! Fingers crossed eh wink

Iammad Sun 10-Jan-16 11:15:08

No the feeling, I'm nearly 39 weeks and I have been having people ask me for the past 4 weeks!!
Had a text saying that they wish baby would hurry up as they want to meet it!
Really ffs?? Not like I don't no?
Im waddling walking to take the children to school and I'm asked the same every day 'had the baby yet' yea can't you tell! Arghhhh

OwlinaTree Sun 10-Jan-16 18:50:08

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