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nervous about finding out the sex... anyone else?

(14 Posts)
sammyjayneex Sat 09-Jan-16 13:11:53

I am expecting my 5th baby. ( really wasn't intending to have anymore but not gonna get into the circumstances around it all) anyway I already have 4 girls and I really want a boy this time around especially because it's my last chance of a having a baby boy as I'm certainly never having anymore kids after this and I know people will say I'm selfish but I'm worried how will I feel if it's another girl. I know I will love my baby and bond with my baby regardless of sex and treat her like my other girls but not sure if I will be disappointed and how do I deal with this. My scan is in a few days. There is the possibility of not finding out but might as well get over and done with instead of wondering through the rest of the pregnancy. And also the dad wants to find out and he always has control over me and situations (long story).

My friend keeps saying 'I know you want a boy but I really don't think it will be a boy and it will be a girl' it makes me feel worse!

She is pregnant with her fourth with a girl but already has two boys and a Girl and will have another girl .. She really wanted a boy and I knew this but there is no way I would keep rubbing it in!!! She will have 2 boys 2 girls but I wouldn't go round saying 'oh you have two of each so your lucky' when I knew she wanted another boy. Maybe I'm taking what comments worse coz of my feelings!

I feel selfish and ungrateful because I know I'm very very lucky to have 4 children and then have a 5th which is over the average people say you should have but can't get away this feeling.

I feel like I've failed somehow? I don't know why. All my kids are with the same dad so I know that has something to do with the whole deciding of the sex thing but I feel like I'm the one who's failed coz I can't produce boys? Their dad wants a boy and if it's not I will feel 'responsible' some how I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's treated me disgustingly and abused me emotionally and cheated on me * knows how many times so maybe he's making me feel worse

Sorry for going on. Has anyone else ever

OwlinaTree Sat 09-Jan-16 14:41:21

I'm quite concerned about your relationship.

wantingno2 Sat 09-Jan-16 14:54:53

Your relationship sounds extremely unhealthy maybe you should ditch him them your feelings towards life as a hole might changes children are a blessing either way but I understand how you feel as I would love a girl this time around I already have a boy but either way I will be happy. But seriously I really think you need to think long and hard about your relationship as he sounds like a complete twat.

goodnightdarthvader1 Sat 09-Jan-16 15:48:23

I suggest you move this to Relationships. This shouldn't be a question about finding out the sex, this should be "how can I leave my abusive partner safely?"

strangerjo Sun 10-Jan-16 16:01:06

I don't understand why you'd feel a failure not having a boy. There's nothing you can do about it and five healthy daughters seems like a pretty amazing thing to me!

Newlywed123 Sun 10-Jan-16 16:31:03

How about not finding out? If you find out you may resent the baby if its a girl for the rest of your pregnancy.. so if you wait until the birth you won't care, you'll just be relieved and happy you have a healthy baby smile.

I have a little girl and I'm due next month, we didn't find out the gender and I'm honestly so excited to find out.. I don't mind either way just glad I've managed to carry it for so long smile

BendydickCuminsnatch Sun 10-Jan-16 16:36:15

The sperm decides the sex of the baby so it would be your partner who 'can't produce boys', not you. I agree you should post in Relationships.

BeauticianNotMagician81 Sun 10-Jan-16 18:10:48

What you say about your partner is very worrying. Are you happy? If my husband went on about wanting a girl I would sit him down and explain how it all works.

For what it's worth I'm pregnant with my fourth child. I have 3 boys already. We won't be finding out the sex. I'm a bit worried if I get told it's another boy I will be a little disappointed. Not disappointed that the baby is a boy but disappointed that I will never have a girl. Although I'm sure I would think about it for all of a day. We are looking forward to a surprise and when the baby is handed to us as long as it's healthy we won't care what the sex of the baby is. smile

sammyjayneex Mon 11-Jan-16 13:54:14

Found out I'm having a boy... Can't believe jt

Everythinggettingbigger Mon 11-Jan-16 14:23:06

Congratulations Sammy that's great news! Ive not long found out that my 2nd is a boy, first is also a boy....I actually warned my partner not to be phased by my reaction if it was a boy again in case I got upset, but I found myself quite excited! I know that every baby is a blessing no matter what the sex, but I thought I wanted a girl (over the moon to be having another boy).

I would speak to your partner though, sorry to say it doesn't sound like a very happy relationship, I hope this changes for you though.

goodnightdarthvader1 Mon 11-Jan-16 15:17:06

Yeeeeah, that's great Sammy, but it doesn't change the fact that you're in an abusive relationship. You need to address that for the good of the children.

sammyjayneex Mon 11-Jan-16 17:42:40

Thanks everyone
I know my relationship isn't great
I still can't believe I'm gonna have a son lol

goodnightdarthvader1 Mon 11-Jan-16 18:03:53

Oh boy. Hiding this thread.

MoMoTy Mon 11-Jan-16 18:14:55

Congrats Sammy. However you need to address what's going on in your relationship

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