am I going mental

[JustineCh1980]

Looking for reassurance if that's at all possible. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm 8.5 weeks and I've had 3 scans already seen heart beating and heard it on the scanner play back thing, 165 beats a min. YET as soon as I am home I feel like something is wrong and I will miscarry and I'm driving myself mental. I have 2 healthy children and although I was anxious throughout their pregnancies I certainly wasn't like this.
My friend suggested counselling! I know my behaviour is irrational or is it?

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Yes, it's obviously irrational. See your doctor.

[sizethree]

Do you have a history of previous losses?
Some anxiety in pregnancy is entirely normal but it dies sound like you are really focussing a lot of thought on things going wrong.
Miscarriages are very common, 1 on 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage but in turn that still means you have a 75% chance of everything being fine. And the risk of miscarriage declines each day. It's really positive that you have seen a heartbeat. So try to begin to enjoy your pregnancy.
Seeing a councillor will help, but even doing things to take your mind off worrying like a pregnant yoga class, gentle swim or one of those colouring in books for adults can help you zone out and relax.
Wishing you a very in eventual pregnancy. X

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

It is irrational but completely normal in my experience! I worried all the time. Literally all the time. There's a book called the mindful pregnancy that people swear by-I haven't read it but it's supposed to be great for anxiety! If it's any consolation I'm 27 weeks nearly now and my anxiety has pretty much gone! Just try not to let it take you over completely xxxx

[JustineCh1980]

My best friend had a still birth (I know that's not early pregnancy related ) and my sister had 2 pregnancies where the heartbeat just stopped.
I am really really trying to think positive and enjoy pregnancy xx
To some it maybe obviously irrational but I was after a bit of support. Maybe I won't bother posting at all next time

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Once there's a visible heartbeat then iirc your chance on mc goes down to about 3%. Please don't be put off posting op there's a lot of support here-without this board I'd have been really lonely at times! I hope you didn't think I was dismissing your worries-i just wanted you to know that a lot of women worry as you are and that you're not alone xx

[JustineCh1980]

That's wasn't aimed at you.
Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have a midwife appointment tomorrow so I'll discuss with her how I'm feeling. I'm getting annoyed with myself for feeling like this I want to enjoy being pregnant but the same awful feeling keeps creeping in my head - maybe when you want something and love something so much already you just don't want anything to happen to ruin it and I'm petrified of the horror stories I know about and keep reading about X

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

Don't be annoyed with yourself! I really struggled with how little control I had over my pregnancy and I couldn't stop googling things and convincing myself something would go wrong! I honestly relaxed at around 19 weeks and just started to enjoy it. Your worries are completely normal particularly considering the losses you've seen others suffer. Be kind to yourself- xxx

[JustineCh1980]

Thank you. I will try and think positive thoughts and fingers crossed it will all be ok. I am a worrier anyway and the the older I get the more I worry about
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes ok xx

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Er, sorry, you asked if it was irrational or not. Forgive me for answering the question you actually asked.

[JustineCh1980]

I'm already feeling upset and emotional if you hadn't gathered that and your blunt response didn't help. So excuse me for biting

[Shirkingfromhome]

I'm currently pregnant with dc2 and I was incredibly anxious that I would miscarry until I started getting regular kicks (around wk 25). I had a mmc prior to this so I think that's the source of it (and the constant stream of horror stories that people feel obliged to tell you when they find out you're pregnant!).

I completely understand how you are feeling and (rational or not) it's hard to put aside your fears sometimes. If it's impacting your day to day life then I would perhaps seek some professional advice. If its a niggling worry then perhaps try some breathing exercises to reduce your anxiety. I did end up thinking that until I had something to worry about I would have to trust that it's all ok.

[CarShare]

Mindful breathing helps me (I use free app Breathe). I was obsessed with miscarriage stats in the early days and researched my daily risk as the pregnancy progressed- very unhelpful for me and I decided I needed to get my behaviour in check. I read Change your thinking with CBT by Dr Sarah Edelman- very helpful tools to manage anxiety. I'm certainly not worry free but am much more controlled and realistic these days. Try to enjoy the nice bits of pregnancy and tell the midwife and your partner/family/friends how you're feeling so they can support you.

[delilabell]

Goodnight you did answer the question that was asked. But it was a question asked by someone who was feeling anxious imavout a very emotive subject.
because of that your answer came across as harsh.
Op, I'm now 22weeks and I still feel anxious. I think because you have nothing "physical" to reassure yourself it's easy to stress. Because you have had scans your risk of miscarriage is down to 3%. Now that I can hear the heartbeat and feel the baby moving I feel a bit better but can totally understand why you are feeling like this. Try to think if the positives and also accept that this is put of your control. You are doing everything you already can so try and relax

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Justine, I realise my response was blunt, and I'm sorry if I upset you further. I too have experienced anxiety in pregnancy (not about the health of the baby, just a general feeling of dread), but with anxiety as severe sounding as yours, it seems likely that the GP is the best place for you to seek help. Whether that's through counselling or ADs. Best of luck.