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What am I doing?

(5 Posts)
confusedmumtobe31 Wed 30-Dec-15 01:51:34

I have an almost 4 year old daughter and a 2 and a half year old son who I had with the absolute love of my life, who treated me like rubbish and broke my heart a million times in a million ways. I walked away from him in Jan this year and moved myself and my kids away from him for a new life.
I met an amazing guy and fell in love. A guy worships me and my kids and treats us right. Well today I just found out I'm pregnant. And he's over the moon. Yet here I am, hiding in the bathroom in tears writing this thread because I'm scared. Because I'm worried I still love my ex, because I never wanted kids to different dad's, because I think it's all moving too quick.
My head is such a mess.

sizethree Wed 30-Dec-15 11:20:12

Remember that you'll be full of pregnancy hormones and they make it pretty difficult to have rational trains of thought.
How you're feeling is normal and you need time to process all that's happening,
But it does sound like you have a great partner who is supportive. So think about confusing in him how you feel. It'll feel a lot less scared when you share your concerns.

sepa Wed 30-Dec-15 11:27:47

Are you in love with your ex or do you love your ex. These are completely different but can feel similar in the beginning.

You have said that you have fallen in love with your OH but the relationship has happened soon after your last one ended.
I had a similar thing (minus kids) with my ex and my OH. My instincts told me to stay with my OH and 10 years later and 30 weeks PG it was the best decision of my life.

confusedmumtobe31 Wed 30-Dec-15 12:26:11

My oh is amazing. He's amazing with my kids, they adore him, he's amazing with me. In the 8 months we have been together we have made so many amazing memories, more than the 5 years with my ex.
My ex was abusive, controlling, made me and my babies homeless twice. When he assaulted me I had him arrested and charged, and he was found guilty in court, then he spent months playing me, worming his way back into my life, to use it against me whilst he secretly appealed his conviction. He's a snake who destroyed me. He hasn't seen my children in 8 months, refuses to pay any maintanance and didn't even send my kids a Christmas card.

I think I'm actually scared, my kids are at a nice age, nursery placements, out of nappies, amazing speach, and here I am about to do it all again. I know my OH will be there to support me through all of this, but I'm scarer of being left alone with 3 kids. The ex left me to cope alone with my kids and I really struggled for a long time.
Plus I had awful pregnancies, violently sick through the whole thing. Lost a lot of weight, and remembering how bad it was last time has me really concerned. I dunno. I guess I haven't had a real chance to process it yet.

sepa Wed 30-Dec-15 12:37:18

If your OH is amazing then he will help you through the sickness if you get it.
If your OH is amazing with your kids then I'm sure if you split up in the future then he wouldn't let you get on with raising his child by yourself.

I think you need to speak to your OH about your concerns.
The way you describe your ex in your last post doesn't sound like you are in love with him, I think that your confused so looking into every possibility

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