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Waiting to miscarry, so scared..

(13 Posts)
abigail12 Fri 18-Dec-15 00:07:34

Found out at 8w at scan that my baby has possibly stopped growing at 6w. I have to go back on Wed to confirm this but I know myself that I'm no longer pregnant. I am terrified of what's going to happen. I don't know what to expect and I don't want to ruin my other children's Christmas by being ill. I'm only spotting lightly but no pain or anything. Will it be very painful? Will it suddenly gush out? And I'm so sorry to ask this but will I see it? I don't think I could handle that but also I'd rather avoid d&c.

DisneyMillie Fri 18-Dec-15 06:27:50

I think everyone has a slightly different experience - for me there was no gush but it did get quite heavy with the loss of blood. I had medium pain (think bad period) but I know some women who have felt more like labour level pain. I didn't see a 'baby' but I did pass a grey ball like sack which would have been that. I'm actually glad I didn't get a d&c as for me the process was closure and although it sounds silly I said goodbye. It's hard but it gets easier. Prepare to be very tired afterward though - I was off work for a week. Thinking of you flowers

Eastend2015 Fri 18-Dec-15 08:58:34

I had an MMC earlier in the year. I waited three weeks after the confirmation the baby had stopped developing, hoping to miscarry "naturally" as I thought this might be better for my body. It was a miserable time, I was still being sick and terribly anxious about what would happen but nothing did. Eventually I had an ERPC which wasn't much more painful than a smear, more uncomfortable. It took about 15 min for the procedure and DH could be there holding my hand throughout. Whilst it wasn't a barrel of laughs either, it meant I could get on with my life and the grieving process without the anxiety of the physical side so worth considering. I hope everything goes well for you and PM me if you want more details. The miscarriage association were invaluable in helping me think through my options. Sending you virtual hugs! P.s now 13 weeks and all well so far.

Mslg Fri 18-Dec-15 10:31:37

I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks two years ago. I had red blood spotting for a couple of days beforehand, went to the doctor on the Monday morning and she said my cervix was still closed but by the afternoon I had to leave work and go home to bed. Cramps were more severe than period cramps (I've never been in labour so can't compare) and the flow is like a heavy period with the feeling of passing clots. When I went to the hospital that evening the doctor found the gestational sac still in my vagina. Like DisneyMillie, I was off work for a week. The bleeding and cramps continued for about 3-4 days afterwards.

My heart goes out to you my dear, not what you want to be going through just before Christmas. Big hugs to you and stay strong flowers

abigail12 Fri 18-Dec-15 12:02:27

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Ive been to gp today who gave me diazepam for my anxiety and a sick line if I choose to use it. I just can't stop crying at the moment, the waiting process is so hard, especially since its Christmas. At least I feel slightly more prepared for what should physically happen to me now. The actual loss is yet to sink in, I've become so focused on the physical side of the miscarriage. Thanks everyone, and congratulations eastend2015, hope everything goes well for you xxx

Mslg Fri 18-Dec-15 12:20:18

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's normal to focus on the physical side. Just take one step at a time and be kind to yourself. I found talking about mine afterwards helpful in dealing with the grief. Most women I spoke to also had one and it was comforting to speak to someone who's been through the same thing who can relate. Xx

MusicalFanjo Fri 18-Dec-15 14:40:07

I'm so sorry for your loss OP thanks

I too have experienced a MC at 6/7 weeks. I can honestly say that it wasn't that much different to my normal period in terms of pain and bleeding. Unfortunately I did see the sac. It was no bigger than a normal clot but looked a little different.

It helped me to know that the vast majority of early miscarriages happen because there was something wrong with foetus and it wouldn't have been healthy. Also that it's actually quite a common thing, although it's not often talked about, and that it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you or your ability to have children in the future.

HollyJenni Mon 21-Dec-15 00:06:17

I went through the same in August this year. I had moderate bleeding, like a period but for me the pain during one night was unbearable as I didn't have suitable pain relief. It was like my muscles were pushing everything outside of me. It was both physically and emotionally painful. I got through it with fizzy Co codomol and ibuprofen coupled with thr support of family and friends. I too expected it to gush out as well but this didn't happen to me at all. Everyone experiences it in different ways but the main thing is that all the girls who have been through it are always available on here and it helped me massively. I'm so sorry you are going through this x

abigail12 Mon 21-Dec-15 13:50:34

This week has been absolute torture, knowing what had happened and just waiting for my body to let it go. Today I've started bleeding lightly, still no pain or cramping but I hope it will start properly soon and I can get it over with. Was hoping the worst of it would be over for Christmas but looks like it won't be. Got scan tomorrow so will find out how things are progressing. This is truly a distressing process and my heart goes out to all the many ladies that have gone through this. Xxx

Picklesauage Mon 21-Dec-15 14:03:36

I'm sos Rory this is happening Abigail, I've been there myself.

I just wanted to day there is a miscarriage board here on mum sent and it has a practical advice thread which will help answer lots of your questions.

For my experience, it wasn't too bad, I was 11 weeks and 5 days, baby stopped at 11+1. I had a bad night, most of which I spent in bathroom with an iPad and hot water bottle. But by morning it was all over. I have been told by professionals mine was incredibly fast, but so are my labours, so I guess that makes sense.

I hope you have some good support around and are kind to yourself. Come find us in miscarriage boards. There is lots of help there.

Eminado Mon 21-Dec-15 14:55:00

I am so very sorry this has happened to you.

I too at 8w unfortunately found out my baby had stopped growing at 6w and I went home to miscarry naturally. Please feel free to PM me.

I am now 6w pregnant again and very happy to chat to you about anything at all.

Take care of yourself.

mrsdiddlydoo Mon 21-Dec-15 18:58:18

The advice thread can be found www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage?pg=19&order=

I'm sorry you are going through this xx

abigail12 Mon 21-Dec-15 19:30:31

Thanks for the link xxx

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