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WARNING - self-centred and superficial thread

(18 Posts)
Runningupthathill82 Mon 14-Dec-15 17:32:00

I feel huge. That's about it. I've gained three stone at 34 weeks despite eating fairly well and exercising throughout, and I look like a beached whale.

It's really getting me down now and I'm worrying I won't be able to shift it after the birth. In my first pregnancy I gained two stone exactly, and lost it all plus more, but this time things are very different. I barely recognise myself.

Anyone else feel the same? I know how superficial this sounds but it really is bothering me. I've had eating issues in the past and thought I was over it, but this loss of control over my size isn't helping.

PrincessPunzie Mon 14-Dec-15 17:56:29

I sort of know where you're coming from - I'm only 15 weeks and haven't started to show yet, but I too have a history of eating troubles, plus a constant struggle with body dysmorphia, and I am freaking the hell out about when I'm going to start showing (I don't mind showing, but because I'm a fitness freak people keep telling me I'll show late, which makes me feel that if I show early it'll be because I've eaten too much and not due to baby weight) and how much weight I'll put on that won't be due to the baby, in case I can't ever lose it again.

You're not superficial, eating disorders are serious mental illnesses and they can affect sufferers for years after "recovery" - and anyone who tells you otherwise has a serious lack of empathy.

My midwife has suggested counselling to me - I do have a very good counsellor and if I start to feel worse I think I might go back to her for a session every few months, however at the moment I'm just about holding it together, and my eating isn't suffering as I'm determined to be healthy for my baby. I knew right back when we were trying to TTC that pregnancy could be an issue with me due to the size thing, however I believed that because the weight gain wouldn't be "my fault" I would be okay with it. However when it comes to amount gained etc. it's easier said than done not to beat yourself up (especially when you have Google, and constantly comparing yourself to others, to help you with the beating!)

I don't have any real advice for you, other than to remind you that your body is doing amazing things now that have nothing to do with its size - you're growing a living, breathing little person in there! That's amazing, and so is your body. I try to remind myself of this every time I feel my worries getting the better of me. You are certainly not alone in the way that you feel, but I'm sure you can be strong enough to overcome it. Plus if you're eating well and exercising you'll be in an optimal position to shift the weight once the baby is here, so try not to worry. Sending you hugs and hand-holding!

Teddypom Mon 14-Dec-15 17:58:10

I feel the same, if that helps?!
With my first pregnancy I gained around two stone.
This time around I started out slightly bigger. I suffered from morning sickness and found the best way to ward it off was to 'graze' every 2 hours. However, when I got weighed at my 12 week scan I was mortified.
I'm now 28 weeks and refuse to weigh myself. I look, and feel, horrible.
Can't wait to shift some of this excess!
You're not alone! 😉

goodnightdarthvader1 Mon 14-Dec-15 18:50:08

I'm more worried about the painful birth and coping with a newborn, tbh.

Icklepickle101 Mon 14-Dec-15 19:17:07

I'm 33 + 4 and feel the same.

Takes me about 20 minutes and various outfit changes to find something that fits and doesn't make me look like Shamu.

And my boobs are doing this weird shelf thing where they sit under my armpits and flop on to my bump, makes me feel so attractive.

Teddypom Mon 14-Dec-15 19:25:09

Icklepickle - I am laughing out loud!
My boobs have done the same. The middle of my chest is like no mans land!!! 😂

Junosmum Mon 14-Dec-15 22:16:35

I'd been quite smug about my 1stone gained 3weeks ago. I've since gained another stone and have 5 - 7 weeks left to go. The last stone is NOT bump, it's fat, around my ribs, hips, they ghs and bum. I have cellulite, lots more than normal and hamster cheeks. This baby better be worth it!x

princesspineapple Tue 15-Dec-15 07:16:20

So pleased I'm not alone in this! I had horrendous morning sickness so didn't put on a pound for 20 weeks... But the sickness has gone now and the weight gain is making up for lost time! I cried about my double quadruple chin last night sad
I know it's silly and superficial and you're supposed to put weight on during pregnancy, but it doesn't help me feel better about my wobbly bits (well... One giant wobbly bit... Me)

CarShare Tue 15-Dec-15 07:26:30

Yep, feeling exactly the same. My mother is very judgemental about weight gain (even at 33 weeks pregnant)- I'm not looking forward to seeing her at Christmas, she'll be tutting over every mince pie. I've gone up two knicker sizes from a 10 to 14 and wobble everywhere.

Me624 Tue 15-Dec-15 08:24:54

I haven't weighed myself for a few weeks (I'm 28+4) and trying not to. I've gone up a size in knickers, I've got chin fat (!) and Icklepickle's comment made me laugh so much because my DH said to me last night, "What's happened to your boobs, they've lost all their shape!" He's right, they are enormous but very unshapely - massive cavernous gap between them and mostly in my armpits.

And I've still got 12 weeks to go! A lot more growing to do! You are not alone OP.

s098 Tue 15-Dec-15 08:25:14

I had a little cry last night when my oh realised how much of the chocolate cake id eaten and said the baby will be a fatty ( he very quickly said it was a joke when i cried !)
Hate the feeling of putting on weight and haven't weighed myself since 12 weeks. Cant wait to feel ' normal' ish again

hellsdells82 Tue 15-Dec-15 15:38:29

Ahhh the pregnancy moans n groans... where do i start...
im now fat..nothing else just fat. I started off eating nothing and nkw at 25wks i dont stop.
getting out pf bed is like watching an elephant roll over x10.
walking...whats that,im going to need to be retrained there cuz i dont know what walking is and it hurts. Renamed waddling or bum rocking as my kids call it.
and bedtime boobs... wow... i agree with icklepickles comment... except at night i have to winch mine up so the dont fall through my sleeve hole on my nighty when im lying on my side... imagine that,an elephant trying to winch boobs up whilst trying to turn...

Ahhh... love pregnancy! confused

Dixiechick17 Tue 15-Dec-15 21:07:38

I didn't think I ate that badly and I put on four stone. By the time DD was 6 weeks old I had lost nearly three stone and now at 6 months old I am 6lbs off my booking in weight. Haven't tried to lose the weight if that makes you feel any better. I know that everyone and every pregnancy is different but this is my experience.

TesticleOfObjectivity Tue 15-Dec-15 21:17:16

Op I put on four stone in my pregnancy and lost it all pretty quickly. The only lingering weight was my expanded uterus (I think that's what it was!) but that didn't take too long. Honestly don't worry just relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. I was really worried about my stretch marks which all popped out in the last month of pregnancy but they faded soon enough too.

TesticleOfObjectivity Tue 15-Dec-15 21:47:18

Sorry came back apologise for telling you to relax and enjoy pregnancy. That was a crap thing to say. I hated pregnancy and didn't enjoy it at all!

Still try not to worry about the weight thing. I was disgusted that I'd gained 4 stone at the time, but like I said it went away soon enough without any real effort of my part. Breastfeeding probably helped, also I walked a lot before I was pregnant but couldn't manage during pregnancy, so once the baby was born I took her for walks in the pram, gradually increasing my time and speed until I was back to walking like I used to.

If it makes anyone feel better, your bodies are doing their best to stockpile extra fat to make breastmilk. This burns off fast when you're feeding and not getting much time to eat in the first few months. You will also have lots of extra fluid, which will go in the first couple of weeks at most. When you have your babies you will lose the weight of the baby, the placenta and the amniotic fluid. I was really surprised how it all added up even with a 6.5lb baby! I bet you are all gorgeous, and will lose your baby weight easily over an appropriate amount of time, and have perfect lovely babies. flowers

jamtartandcustard Wed 16-Dec-15 06:46:24

40+2 and I've put on 3.5 stone! I had only just managed to loose all the previous baby weight at the start of this year when I fell pregnant. My upper arms are enormous! I'm dreading having to shift it all - again! - in the new year

anneliandbetsy Mon 21-Dec-15 05:20:25

I feel the same. I've put on 2.5 stone at 35 weeks. Ongoing comments like "there's only one baby in there isn't there" or "your really big aren't you? Do you think it's going to be a big baby??"
I was very slimbefore and now feel like a heffer even though I've tried to eat well and remain active. My boobs flop over my bump like spaniels ears (was extremely flat chested pre preggo), my fingers, legs and face are oedematous ( not for high blood pressure), can't wear rings or nice shoes. Feel disgusting. Dead spotty and can't sleep so look haggered.
Best friend is 35+3 and looks amazing - just a neat bump and really slim elsewhere and sleeping fine so looks like a glowing pregnancy dream. sad
OH keeps telling me to stop being stupid (whinging regularly) it's all there to help breastfeed etc. Still feel like ten tonne tessie.
When I feel her move and start packing her little clothes in hospital bag - I do think "why are you whinging woman, you are so lucky" then catch a glimpse in mirror and have a little cry grin

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