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Pregnant after MC, can't shake the dread...

(34 Posts)
Clarab0w Thu 10-Dec-15 10:13:58

I found out I was pregnant again immediately after a MMC and ERPC. After a very hesitant couple of weeks, I'd just started feeling a bit of happy anticipation, but then suddenly last Friday I had a dark brown bleed and my symptoms tailed off - exactly what happened with the MMC.

After spending the weekend in despair convinced I'd lost a second pregnancy, I had a scan on Monday that showed a tiny embryo with a heartbeat. I was reassured for about a day, but my symptoms (sore boobs, queasiness) have almost gone again (after coming back on Monday when I had the scan).

Has anyone had a similarly bumpy start to a pregnancy and it's worked out ok? Are other people's symptoms coming and going like this? I feel this total sense of dread all day long and I don't know how to shake it.

Clarab0w Thu 10-Dec-15 16:28:49

Anyone? Feeling a bit desperate for reassurance... thanks for any help x

mummy2twobabies Thu 10-Dec-15 16:32:22

I had the same thing happen to me I'm now 20 weeks I bleed from 4-12 week and had another bleed last week. Baby seems fine. How this gives you some hope I have had 1 ectopic 2 mmc and 2dc.

April2013 Thu 10-Dec-15 16:59:09

Yes I think early pregnancy symptoms fluctuate all over the place and bleeds seem to definitely not always mean the end. Are you able to get another scan? I had a MMC then erpc last year, it is bound to make you feel anxious. I think extra scans are the way forward, I had a private early scan so that I knew what was happening, I just hate the not knowing. Will NHS give you a scan or would you have to go private? I know scans only give a snap shot in time and things could change but I think if they make you feel better then they are well worth it. I also read some research that found regular scans and the chance to speak to a midwife regularly lowered miscarriage rate so perhaps there is some truth in that, but even if not, if it helps you get through the first trimester it is worth it. It is so stressful but I think if you have seen a heartbeat statistically things significantly improve.

BadgerFace Thu 10-Dec-15 18:08:44

Symptoms coming and going are entirely normal, your body is just getting used to the pregnancy hormones.

I haven't had a miscarriage so not entirely in your shoes but we had a failed IVF round, followed by a natural miracle just as we were about to go into the next IVF cycle, a bit of a wait until they could see the heartbeat and a small bleed at 7 weeks so I understand the anxiety about all not being well. I had a private scan at 10 weeks as I was worried about getting to our 13 week scan and finding a MMC. I then had another private scan at 17 weeks as I found a cheapish (£45) scan place locally (and I wanted to find out the sex!).

I didn't really relax until after our 23 week scan and all the anomaly tests were out of the way! I'm now 35 weeks and all going strong.

I found a website which gave the reducing odds of a miscarriage each week which I found helpful to look at to remind myself that once you'd seen a heartbeat it dropped to X% and then Y% at 10 weeks etc.

Time will help with the dread but it's understandable that you are worrying. The odds are in your favour though! How many weeks are you?

Clarab0w Thu 10-Dec-15 18:43:08

thanks so much for your replies mummy2twobabies, april2013 and badgerface - really helps to hear your stories.

mummy2twobabies did you also have disappearing symptoms this time around? it's the combination of bleeding and loss of symptoms that's really freaking me out since that's what happened before...congrats on your healthy pg, that's really lovely to hear!

april i've got another scan next wednesday, it's not far away in normal terms but feels an absolute lifetime away. at least i'll know then whether things are progressing as they should - really lucky my EPU have been great so far.

badger i'm not sure, since i got pg straight after my ERPC without a period. somewhere around 6 weeks, they seemed to think on monday.

sorry to be such a pain merchant but i just feel like i'm about to get my heart broken all over again, no matter how positively i try to think about things.

mummy2twobabies Thu 10-Dec-15 19:43:27

Yes I had little to no symptoms from about 6 weeks after having strong ones before. After having a lot of loss this was a worry, she is kicking me to death tonight but I still worry every day. I had a scan at 7 weeks and saw a good heart beat then another at 9,12,17 weeks and due to have one on Tuesday. I feel better for a day or two then back to checking for blood every 5 min.

BadgerFace Thu 10-Dec-15 20:25:07

It is really hard, and that's okay to acknowledge, and the days drag by between those early scans, it is tortuous. Good to hear you have another scan booked in. 6 weeks with a heartbeat is a great sign.

Wishing Wednesday around quickly for you.

Clarab0w Thu 10-Dec-15 20:27:21

thank you both for being so kind, just brought tears to my eyes x

Coraltee123 Thu 10-Dec-15 22:59:25

I'm 8+2 and have had 2 early scans and still feel as tho I'm going to go in and the baby won't be there. Every pain I'm thinking the worst. I had a bad bleed at the start turned out I had a chemical pregnancy then ovulated as soon as my hormones went down got pregnant then had the bleed from the other egg going away. Well that's what they think as I was getting positive pregnancy test that then went negative then the bleed the positive tests again. Was so confusing and it obviously didn't help me feeling anxious especially because of a previous mmc. This is a long way of going about saying what your feeling is completely normal. I felt and still feel like I'm going crazy! Hope everything works out well for you xx

scarednoob Thu 10-Dec-15 23:10:54

I got told the bean was too small for the dates and then had bleeding 3 days later. DD is now 12 weeks old and snoring loudly in her cot!

It's hard enough waiting for scans, but your position is even harder. Fingers crossed; a heartbeat is a brilliant sign.

scarednoob Thu 10-Dec-15 23:12:08

Also symptoms really mean nothing. I didn't have a single thing except no period and I worried myself sick over it!

RhubarbTree Thu 10-Dec-15 23:18:46

I had a very similar thread at the beginning of this year. I'd had both a miscarriage and a MMC in 2014 so when I found out that I was pregnant at the beginning of this year I was resigned to it all going wrong again. Very happily, I'm typing this with a six week old sleeping on me, so be reassured that each pregnancy is different and symptoms (or lack of) in one, won't necessarily mean the same outcome. Hope things work out for you.

Clarab0w Fri 11-Dec-15 10:11:33

coraltee123 no wonder you're nervy - you've been through the wringer already with the MMC, i know how distrustful that makes you of your own body. and then to have all the confusion of the bleed/ tests on top. and i totally get feeling crazy. my poor OH must think i've been bodysnatched and replaced with this snivelling nutcase.

scarednoob what a rollercoaster - but a beautiful outcome. congrats on your lovely girl! can i just ask, did you have symptoms to begin with? it's the fact that i had sore, swollen boobs last week and nothing this week, along with the bleed, that's really freaking me out.

rhubarbtree i'm so sorry you have been through two losses, but so pleased you finally got your little one! congratulations - and thanks for giving me a little glimmer of hope. was there any reason you thought it would go wrong, physically? or just the mental stress?

thanks, ladies. it's killing me waiting until next week for the follow-up scan, while my symptoms have disappeared and i'm still spotting. thanks for the happy stories and support, can't tell you how much it means.

Coraltee123 Fri 11-Dec-15 15:52:57

Yeah I feel sorry for my partner too lol.
I've 2 weeks to wait til my scan and it honestly feels like a year lol.
I think the spotting will be fine. My nana bleed for 4 months with my auntie. She was that bad she thought it was her period and didn't know she was pregnant lol xx

Clarab0w Sat 12-Dec-15 12:32:16

coraltee everything crossed for your scan in 2 weeks - you'll be 10 weeks plus then, so you'll be really close to the first tri finish line! mine's on wednesday, absolutely bricking it. thanks for the reassurance x

still no symptoms, 4th day now. when people say symptoms 'come and go', how long can they be gone for??

Coraltee123 Sat 12-Dec-15 14:33:40

Some peoples go completely and don't come back. My cousin is further along than me and hers have completely gone but baby is fine and another one of my friends had symptoms for a couple of weeks then nothing for the rest of her pregnancy bar the odd feeling sick because she was hungry xxx

Coraltee123 Sat 12-Dec-15 14:34:48

with my lg I lost mine for 2 weeks then they came back with a bang worse than before. I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone is different xxx

scarednoob Sat 12-Dec-15 17:50:47

Ah thank you! Personally I didn't, but my friend texted me almost hourly in the first few weeks to complain her symptoms had disappeared - and she just had her 20 week scan.

Nobody can give you any guarantees sadly, but the stats once you've seen a hb are massively in your favour. The only thing that is certain is that symptom spotting is seriously unreliable. Some people lose symptoms and are fine; others sadly have symptoms and aren't. Worrying either way can't change the outcome, so my advice would be: step away from the internet, put your feet up with a treat of a new book or a manicure or a chocolate bar, and say, "today I am pregnant" and enjoy it. It will work for some of the time!!!

Lots and lots of luck!

Clarab0w Sun 13-Dec-15 10:13:55

seriously coraltee123 and scarednoob, can't thank you enough. nothing can change the outcome of this scan on weds but you've been amazing at helping me stop climbing the walls until then.

thanks so much for your being so lovely and reassuring and sharing your experiences - my boyfriend (who's usually pretty suspicious of internet forums!) saw your responses yesterday and was blown away too.

i'll let you know how weds goes, but in the meantime, thank you again xxx

mummy2twobabies Sun 13-Dec-15 15:28:24

Was thinking about you today. Hope you are ok. The wait for the next scan is the worst bit.

scarednoob Sun 13-Dec-15 19:44:25

You are most welcome. I had a couple of little bleeds - it really is terrifying. But it is so much more likely to be fine than not. Fingers crossed for Wednesday; will be hoping for good news!

WombOfOnesOwn Mon 14-Dec-15 18:28:02

Hi! Wanted to add to the chorus of reassurance. I had two MCs before my current pregnancy. Your posts could practically have been me in terms of the worry about scans, minor bleeds, and symptoms disappearing from time to time! And I've had a dreadfully stressful pregnancy, from movers disappearing with everything DH and I owned (yes, really!) and having to move in with PILs, to working at a new job and having to tell my brand new supervisor that he'd hired a pregnant woman!

Now I'm over 30w, and the little guy is kicking often enough to make his presence known every hour or two. It gets better, it really does.

scarednoob Tue 15-Dec-15 12:44:36

Fingers crossed for your scan today OP!

BadgerFace Tue 15-Dec-15 18:20:18

Good luck with the scan, I really hope all goes well.

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