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Inappropriate things said to pregnant women(60 Posts)
I seem to be a magnet this week at work for inappropriate pregnancy-related comments!
So far I've had someone tell me that they weren't sure if I was pregnant or just putting on a lot of weight, someone else tell me that 'I knew you were having a boy because boy babies make you ugly' (thanks pregnancy acne!!)
And someone else tell me that they hoped I'd picked someone rubbish for my maternity cover otherwise I might have too much to live up to when I came back if they turned out to be better at my job than me!
Please make me feel better by sharing the 'lovely' comments you've received!
When I was pregnant with my fifth I had-
Can't you say no to your dh?
You obviously don't have a tv!
Haven't you figured out how baby's are made yet?
I got told all the time how small my bump was, which started to really irk me as I was measuring small and had extra scans because of it. Although it was the repetition that really annoyed me. "Your bump looks small." "I know it does." "No but it's really small though." About once a week for months. "Thanks annoying colleague, I had noticed."
Then when dd was born the advice from dp's family began. Why I should not go back to work full time (though sahm sil is "at home all day spending all bils money" and sneered at for doing so - not my opinion.) Why breastfeeding is disgusting and should be discreetly done, if at all. Why I should have been giving dd cooled, boiled water because she was thirsty and breast milk isn't a drink. Why I should have another child. Why I should not let dd sleep in our bed. Why she should sleep more than she does even though I cannot physically force her to. Why I should carry out household tasks and life stuff (take back things to shops etc.) on behalf of my dp, who I should refer to as my husband despite not wanting to get married. Also the constant addressing cards and letters to me and dd with dp's surname, despite that not being our surname. Dd is double barrelled.
When you get pregnant you become public property! Everyone else knows better!
Having our 4th Angelto5 and I got that as well "Don't you and DH own a tv?" Yes we do. Haven't you ever heard of Netflix and chill??
The most inappropriate one I got though was when I was early days pregnant with DS#2. A friends brother and his buddies had come over after a long night of drinking. Putting them to bed one of them looks at me and goes "I wanna snuggle with you! and by snuggle I mean knocking boots!"
So I replied.. "Well sorry- someone has got there before you. I'm 6 weeks pregnant." Thinking I'd come up with a witty retort (which is rare for me) He came right back with."Fantastic! So there's no way I can get you pregnant?!? Win Win!"
'I guessed you were pregnant because your face is fatter'
From uncle I don't see very often with no run up 'just you make sure you give birth in whatever position you like, that's my advice'
"wow you're big"... Oh so many times. Yes I know I am! I can't see my feet do you think I hadn't noticed?
Although I keep getting "If you look from the back or straight on you'd have no idea you're pregnant" which is repetitive but kind of a compliment so I can live with that one
At 39 weeks I'm getting rather fed up of the 'you not had that baby yet?' comments. Well obviously duh!
There must be something in the water this week, I've had loads:
- You and DH should enjoy Xmas, it will be the last you do
- Why are you still bothering with the gym? You're going to be the size of a house just get on with it
- Amniotic fluid stinks
And my personal favourite:
Her: don't ask me about either of my births, they were both horrendous
Me: I had no intention of asking
as we've just met
Sorry OP this isn't giving you the positive stories you asked for!!
"Why bother with the gym? If I was you I'd just lie on the couch and eat pies as you're going to get fat anyway."
Um yes, that's probably why I only put on 10lb in pregnancy and was back in my skinny jeans within a fortnight of giving birth!
working in an office full of men, women are the minority and i'm quite young compared to the other women too, so i'm used to inappropriate comments but my fav this week is....."you look like someone has just blown you up".....im 16 weeks and quite a sizeable bump has appeared in the last week (even the midwife has commented on its size lots of water)
Luckily I don't get offended easily but being told they all thought I was older than I am hurt......a lot! that one isn't pregnancy related!
The 'you shouldn't be eating this, this or this' phrases piss me off. It's really going to be the end of the world if I have my steak medium rare once or have some soft cheese on a sandwich
My dad said that he'll give me some of his old tshirts soon as I'll fit into them. He wears XXL. I am still in size 10/12 clothes at 30 weeks. The cheeky so and so!
'Why aren't you going to breastfeed? I breastfed and it was so wonderful!'
'Don't put so much salt on your food!' and 'you shouldn't be eating that much chocolate' are other food ones that get me too haha!
oh and I forgot.....yesterday one of my colleagues pointed to my bump and said...."now we all know what you have been up to"
Frilly I've had a lot of comments on what I should and shouldn't be doing
I'm just glad I'm not the only one getting these comments! You definitely become public property when pregnant and I think for me, the comments that have annoyed me the most have been the ones which have hit a nerve e.g. acne or worry about my maternity cover being amazing and work not wanting me back!
My personal fave was a colleague (senior to me) asked me in September if I was sure I could work until the end of Nov as there is no way I would fit in a car. I have up work last Friday and even managed driving today!
My team at work are really sweet but even they are coming out with annoying things - this morning I was told I look really big (I know, I've just bought size 16 leggings, thanks for making me feel better-NOT!) and then from the ones who already have kids "Ooh, you won't know whats hit you when he's here, your life is going to change beyond all recognition!" Wow, really, I never guessed!
When I was 22 weeks:
My sisters boyfriend: you wouldn't even know you were pregnant.
My sister: well, you'd think she had a really weird body shape if she wasn't! And anyway, most people don't have any bump at all until they're 5 months!!
No, my sister has never been pregnant!!! Did wonders for my confidence... Not!!!
Suppose we just have to rise above it!! Easier said than done! Lol.
I've made it to 30 weeks with some people still not knowing:
Oh that's great news, I thought you had just put on weight.
You finally look like you're pregnant (I'm large but not so large that it's not obvious that there is a bump)
Was exhausted after work was told by close friend 'you're only pregnant not ill, you'll have loads of rest while on maternity leave!'
"You're a lot bigger than I was at that many weeks."
"Oh I did wonder if you were pregnant-you're looking a lot weightier."
"I forgot you were pregnant for a second I thought you'd just started getting fat."
A woman in a baby shop ( we were buying a moses basket) got quite aggressive after asking when the baby was due and I stupidly said the month, after we she got angry saying no, I am clearly very wrong because I'm clearly due any day now, she wouldn't stop going on about it, in the end we walked out and bought it somewhere else.
Another person asked me I must be having triplets because I was so huge!
after we told her she got angry missed out words!
I just got 'I guessed you must be pregnant as you'd changed from behind' (followed by wide hand gesture!) I've also had the 'you can tell in your face' comment. I haven't weighed myself as I really don't want to know how much weight I've gained, but, thanks to these kind people I can glean that I must have put some on!!! Thanks!
My boss suddenly came out with me needing to stock up on Arnica as I'll need it after the birth. Quite how this had any relation to what I was doing at work is anyone's guess and left me rather baffled. Also not everyone in my team at work even knew that I was pregnant at the time...
A GP(!) on seeing her about something fairly unrelated and completely out of the blue: "Are you in a stable relationship?"
I'm sorry, what has that got to do with anything? Regardless of the fact that it should have been completely obvious given that I wear a wedding ring and I'm sure my name must be prefixed by 'Mrs' somewhere on my notes...
Oh god silversun, don't get me started on health professionals feeling the need to question your love/home life when pregnant. My midwife wouldn't stop hassling me when I told her my partner had just walked out on me. She kept asking me if I thought he would come back and saying I wouldn't be able to cope so I should move in with my mum. Jesus I was having a hard enough time emotionally already without being asked/told those things. I know she's my midwife but I really don't think it's her place
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