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Pregnancy

40+3 days pregnant and beginning to lose hope . did you give birth naturally after going over due?

59 replies

mrsjoker35 · 02/12/2015 14:23

So i had a sweep Monday. But i was told baby wasn't low enough and i wasn't dilated but cervix was soft... Second sweep next week. If nothing happens ,induced on the 11th.
I'm starting to lose hope, baby just doesnt seem to want to come out, and im beginning to ask myself if I'll ever go into labor myself. And i really wanted to do it all myself, im so emotional... I keep thinking my body is failing me
I've not been this emotional since i was 15 weeks! I keep lashing out at people and crying , then i eat. Im aware of postnatal depression and i really dont want that either and thats making me even more emotional, i just want my baby, absolutely terrified of the possibly needing a c section.. And i keep thinking if that happens I'll become depressed . everything is piling up

Comforting words and experience's would be really helpful and appreciated

OP posts:

Report

badg3r · 02/12/2015 14:30

Is it your first? First babies are on average 4 to 5 days late, so by that account you're still 'early'.
This time last year I was 40+2. Baby arrived naturally in 5h at 40+9. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear, a week at that stage felt like forever!

RatOnnaStick · 02/12/2015 14:32

Some babies just need longer to cook, that all. Both my children were later - 40+9 and 40+6 respectively. Neither one gave any sign of imminent arrival more than a day beforehand. At 40 weeks I wasn't favourable for either of them but a few days later it was all change.

Gestation is assumed to be normal length from 37 to 42 weeks so 40 weeks is only just over halfway through that time.

Angelik · 02/12/2015 14:40

40+11 for my second. had a sweep at 40+9 and nothing until whoosh about 36 hours later in labour and dd appeared less than 4 hours after! you don't have to be induced. you can wait it out. you will be checked regularly. your body isn't failing you. it hasn't quite finished preparing itself, that's all. I understand the emotion. even with contractions 30 seconds apart I was convinced it was a false start (after having had a few) and telling my husband it was a waste of time going to hospital in very angry tones!

you might need to remind yourself that the important thing is the health and safety of you and your baby and who gives a shit how that happens?!

good luck. let us know when your LO appears.

Fugghetaboutit · 02/12/2015 14:43

You're only 3 days over, baby will come soon!

mrsjoker35 · 02/12/2015 14:45

Yes this is my first. Im hoping i go soon. It definitely makes me feel better hearing you both finally went :)
I wish i had a wee window to have a wee peak through to next week in future! Augh ,

Im not having many BH's either though. Been having quite a lot of mucus. Still clear as of now though. Going to walk to the supermarket soon, pick up some dinner. Because of how i feel all i seem to want to do is laze around and feel sorry for myself ,sitting on the sofa wont help at all. I need to get myself out of my current mindset!

OP posts:

Gracey79 · 02/12/2015 14:46

I was told at 40 weeks bump not dropped nowhere near engaged etc and had him the next day! No sweep etc done as all were booked for following week by which time he was here

MargaretismyDD · 02/12/2015 14:47

Darling, in the nicest possible way your thinking is totally backwards!

You are saying "now I've gone three days over, is there any chance I'll go into labour naturally".

That really, really isn't how it works. It's not like you've missed a deadline.

There is a curve, some people give birth before the mid point (it's not quite a mid point, but you know what I mean) of the EDD. Some after.

EVERY DAY you don't have the baby it becomes MORE likely you'll have the baby the day after, not less.

I've had three, varying from 8 to 13 days late. The 13 was the third and the easiest because I was used to my body cooking 'long' by then. He was all vernixy and not overdone at all.

Pooka · 02/12/2015 14:50

With my second I had a failed sweep at 40 +4. Totally unfavourable. Next day had first twinges at 7pm and ds was born at 9pm. Home by 11pm.

My first was on her due date. Third was 3 days early. Different babies, different labours.

GastonsChestHair · 02/12/2015 14:54

I've had 5, the last one being 7 weeks ago. All overdue. All born naturally. The last one was 41+5, I refused induction because I didn't want to be induced again and plumped for continued monitoring. Have faith in your own body. Baby will come.

mrsjoker35 · 02/12/2015 14:54

Its my midwife too , i love her shes brilliant and now that ive saw the same one the past 5 times i feel really comfortable around her. But she gives me no reassurance , she just basically told me baby isn't low enough ,I'll see you next week and I'll give you another sweep lol but again, tbh its probably because im not hearing " oh wow! Your 3cm dilated ,i can practically feel the head!" , not her fault , i just needed to hear this ! That you CAN go well over due and everything can still happen itself. Says the person who's 3 DAYS over due !!
hides under pillow in embarrassment

OP posts:

mrsjoker35 · 02/12/2015 14:57

I feel so silly! My emotion's are all over the place.
"Everyday the baby doesn't come , its most likely to come tomorrow,not less"
Thats the mindset i need to get myself into!

OP posts:

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 02/12/2015 14:58

My son was born without induction at 40+2. As someone said this is not a race nor have you missed a deadline. I'm sure you will have your baby in yours arms before you know it.

spillyobeans · 02/12/2015 15:01

I was due to be induced on a monday, jad sweep on thursday, went into(latent) labour fri, got sent home, had baby sunday v late night naturally

spillyobeans · 02/12/2015 15:01

I was 2 weeks overdue btw

Mouthfulofquiz · 02/12/2015 15:03

I feel your pain. I went to 40+11 with my second... Then had a lovely, straightforward labour, and was back home four hours after having him. I had two sweeps.. But he came at the right time
(However, I fully appreciate the way you are feeling - I was DESPERATE by the time he came out!)

Fugghetaboutit · 02/12/2015 15:05

For your first it'll take a while for you to get to 3cms usually. I started labouring at 6pm and was 4cm by 2am for my first

mrsjoker35 · 02/12/2015 15:15

Jeez this is more common than i thought! Everyone I've known ,lately who's had their baby have went before their DD.
I've jinxed myself, at the beginning when i found out i was pregnant, i counted my OWN DD and i got it between the 27th of November and the 4th of December.... So i think i totally set myself up lol

OP posts:

ottothedog · 02/12/2015 15:25

If you were in france you would be overdue in 4 days time. Most babies in uk are born after die date

MockTheWeek · 02/12/2015 15:30

I would consider myself a control freak and I like having a plan for everything. That was the worst part because, like everyone, I had no idea when or how it was going to happen. In the end I adopted the mindset mentioned by PP, that every day baby isn't here is another day closer! She ended up arriving sort of naturally at 40+3.

Best of luck when you do actually go into labour

originalusernamefail · 02/12/2015 15:39

I went into labour 40+3 (had sweep 39+5 which did nowt!) DS born 40+6, currently 34+5 and hoping this one is a bit quicker off the mark! Your baby will get here one way or the other OP, no one is pregnant forever, it just feels that way at 40 weeks + .

Seeline · 02/12/2015 15:44

I had my DD (2nd pg) at 40+12. I'd given up hope of her coming at all, let alone naturally, but she did. No sweeps, inductions or anything else. They come when they're ready She's 11yo now and still does things her way

WeeseKeysAreThese · 02/12/2015 17:19

I went into labour at 40➕2 and dd was born 40➕ 3

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TheLittleLion · 02/12/2015 17:21

I went into labour naturally at 40+10, 2 days before I was booked for induction.
You're only 3 days overdue, you have plenty of time for it to happen!

TakesTwoToTango · 02/12/2015 17:31

Was on due date for my first and second. Third arrived naturally at 40+4 after several days of increased mucus but no other signs at all. The way I looked at it, the longer she stayed put, the more ready my body would be to deliver effectively when the time came, and it did! By far my easiest birth

Chattymummyhere · 02/12/2015 17:58

With my first I was 39+4, my second 40+5 and I was panicking as it was a planned homebirth and the mw started talking deadlines for homebirths has a sweep booked for 40+6 and clearly baby decided it didn't want anyone rummaging and came the morning before.

Currently 23+3 and kind of hoping this one is late rather than early as I'm due the start of the Easter holidays.

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