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Nervous about telling work I'm pregnant

(14 Posts)
Love2014 Tue 01-Dec-15 21:24:43

Hey everyone Could you give me some other advice about how to tell your boss your pregnant ? I have quite a stressful job as an operations manager. My boss keeps making comments about my weight, dreading telling them I'm pregnant as I'm not sure how they are going to react. What where your experiences ? How did you do it ?

KatyN Tue 01-Dec-15 21:37:58

This time round my boss is a good friend and knew that we wanted to have a baby. I told her at 6 weeks when I was signed off work with hg and she was lovely.
First time round I had a young bloke as my boss and he had never had anyone report to him be pregnant before. He just looked shocked and rushed out of the room saying he had to talk to his line manager!! Big boss set him on he straight and narrow and all was fine.

Employers are so set up to deal with pregnancy they might be a bit surprised personally but then should just get on with it. I wouldn't give too much information in the first instance as they will have to get their heads round it too!!

K

embarrasseddoesntcutit Tue 01-Dec-15 21:39:13

If they are making comments they probably suspect anyway.

Do not apologize - it is normal and natural and to be expected, just be matter of fact. If you haven't had time off yet then that's evidence that you are still more than capable of doing the job. As soon as you tell them you are protected by law from discrimination.

5hell Tue 01-Dec-15 21:44:08

making comments about your weight?!?!?! how bloody rude!!

no great advice i'm afraid, mine took it well even though i work somewhere small and it will have a big impact on the company.

you just have to go for it - i've got some news, i'm expecting (or whatever words you prefer) - but don't feel pushed to tell them earlier than you feel comfortable. i told my boss on the way to coffee.

good luck

lemon101 Tue 01-Dec-15 21:53:44

Hello,

I'm a regional manager for a clinical study so had similar level of responsibility and was absolutely terrified of telling my bosses (others have been given unsubtle hints about how there may not really be a job when you get back). My tips are be totally straight and focus your message on reflecting how you acknowledge that this will have an impact on operations. I made some suggestions about how we could mitigate the impact (in my case waiting to tell the sponsor until we had come to a solid plan for maternity cover). I also suggested a few structural changes to the the management level immediately below me that would help.
Finally, I also emphasised I was only taking 6 month mat leave (others before me have taken a year). But that was a decision I was comfortable making - obviously its a very personal decision.

It actually went down pretty well (phew!). Good luck!

Oysterbabe Tue 01-Dec-15 22:21:25

I skipped into the office and announced that I was taking a year off with a massive grin. Did I mention that I hate my job?

sepa Wed 02-Dec-15 08:11:25

Have others around you had babies? If so, what was the managers reactions to the other women?
I was lucky with my managers, one of them guessed as I couldn't stomach food and turns out his wife is as pregnant as me so he was seeing same symptoms at home. Other manager I just called up after 12 weeks and told and he said he had guessed due to me going a long way for someone's birthday and not drinking when I do like a good drink.

I think your better to do it face to face so you can gauge your boss' reaction. Most people are usually positive about a new baby (and I have never understood those who get stressy as how do they think they got here?)

Good luck flowers

Littleelffriend Wed 02-Dec-15 10:50:03

I told my work last week, and was shitting myself so much that I nearly burst into tears. I was shaking. My boss was absolutely lovely, and I feel like a weight has been lifted since I told them x

PennyHasNoSurname Wed 02-Dec-15 10:52:51

They are making comments about your weight?!

You dont need to officially inform them til 25weeks, however if you need adjustments made to your job tasks/workload best to tell tgem asap so they can be adjusted.

lilygirl81 Wed 02-Dec-15 11:01:44

I've been getting a lot of attitude from one of the bosses at my work for the number of appointments I've had recently. I'm only 5+6, but due to recurrent mc and history of ectopic, I'm having a lot of early appointments. Plus I've got a chronic condition which needs regular appointments, and I'm getting investigations into swallowing difficulties, so I do appreciate I have an abnormal amount.

I've asked if I can have a private word with him next time he is in my area, and will tell him confidentially. I did tell my team last week as I'm racing to the loo all the time and their reactions were lovely.

Love2014 Fri 04-Dec-15 07:19:20

Hi thanks guys for the comments... I work in the technology industry so majority of people working with me are fellas including bosses. I don't think my boss has ever had to manage a pregnant woman before. That's part of the reason why I'm worried about it because I don't know how they will react and will assume "right she's going to be off all the time" and just start moving my responsibility over to someone else.. Which I will feel upset about.. However over moon about having the baby. They were comments made in a joke... But they do keep saying to me "are you okay?" And "how are you feeling" Then making comments about my weight... "Are you still going to the gym" we got a card invite to an Xmas party from one of our suppliers and there were to Victorian dancers on it, one of which was a fairly plump lady.. My boss pointed at it and said "that looks like you" he's only joking but it has made me think they suspect I'm pregnant..I have my first scan today been awake last 3 hrs just so excited and wishing everything to be okay! Nipping out of work to go to it.. Think I'm going to tell them next week once I know everything okay Xxx

Love2014 Fri 04-Dec-15 07:20:11

also I only started this job in July so I don't know if I will be protected by law... Or my job will be protected.. Does anyone know ?

unimaginativename13 Fri 04-Dec-15 07:59:13

Depends on your contract? Is it permanent?
Pregnancy can't be a reason for dismissal but it does depend on your circumstances.

I took a week to tell me boss because he wouldn't listen to all my requests to have 'a chat' until the Friday he said 'what was it you wanted to talk to me about?'

I got a lovely congratulations through gritted teeth.

Best advice my friend gave me was be selfish and put yourself first. I was constantly feeling guilty about how it effected my workplace.

Women are almost apologetic about getting pregnant! Don't be!

I toughen up quickly when my boss mentioned my 'unpaid leave' for antenatal appointments and 'women who take a year off don't return to work'

Read up on your rights, be selfish and enjoy being pregnant!

EdgarAllenPoe Fri 04-Dec-15 15:19:35

I was pretty nervous too. My boss was probably a bit miffed but he kept it to himself and was outwardly very polite about the whole thing.

You are entitled to paid time off for antenatal appointments regardless of how long you have worked there.

To qualify for SMP, you need to have 26 weeks continual service by 15 weeks before your due date. If you have a permanent contract, you will be guaranteed a job at the end of a year (unless made redundant but they can't pick on you for being pregnant). If temporary, well they don't need a reason not to renew technically. Since you're just having your first scan, I'm going to assume you conceived well after July so you'll be fine regarding SMP.

You do not have to commit to an 'end date' at this stage, or even tell them how long you intend to be off for. Either way they need 28 days' notice. I told my boss my plans as I want to make this as easy as possible, but they need to understand it's up to you and you can change your mind if need be.

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