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missing out on a big family event due to late pregnancy

(10 Posts)
Autumn2014 Sat 28-Nov-15 11:31:26

Not sure if this is a topic for this board or general family related but I just need to get it out as I'm feeling a bit sad.

I'm due first week in may, but we have been invited to big wedding first week in April. It's more than a wedding as this side of the family live overseas and so the chance to meet up are limited. They are very good hosts and there will be celebrations planed for the days pre and post wedding. We booked the hotel a year in advance and had made initial travel plans. My inlaws have key roles in the wedding party and everyone was excited.

My first baby was born very early, so there is a good chance I will deliver early again, and even if don't then I won't be able to travel because it will be so close to my edd and I'm am high risk.

I had a mmc earlier this year year and if I'd gone full term I would have had 5 month old baby to take with me, but instead I'll be missing out. I'm not sure I even want my husband to attend by himself because of all the issues I previously stated.

I am of course thankful that we have this new baby to look forward to and life can't stop, nor would I have wanted to say delay ttc to avoid this time especially after my mc but...

We've just gone public with our news and I'm expecting that it will soon reach the extended side of the family.

I realise that this is my issue and it won't affect the bride and groom, or my inlaws. The wedding will still happen, but I'm sad we won't be a part of it and our son won't experience this big family event

Junosmum Sat 28-Nov-15 12:34:07

how far would you be travelling?

Heyitsholly Sat 28-Nov-15 12:41:33

There will be more events in the future. A baby is a blessing. An event can be arranged for everyone to meet when your well with a healthy baby.

Im sure your opinion on a wedding when your either heavily pregnant or holding your bundle of joy will matter

Heyitsholly Sat 28-Nov-15 12:42:07

*change (not matter)

HardWorkButTheyMakeMeSmile Sat 28-Nov-15 12:53:00

If the hotel is booked and travel plans already made, could you not just see how it goes nearer the time ?

My 2nd DC was very early and DC3 & 4 were both classed as high risk pregnancies and expected to be early but both arrived very close to EDD.

Personally I would stick with the arrangements made and then change them if it becomes necessary for the pregnancy. Everyone would understand if there a need to miss the wedding but not going when there is still a month to go to EDD seems a little excessive.

April2013 Sat 28-Nov-15 13:21:34

Is it in the UK? If so, I am pretty sure if you just take your maternity notes with you you can just use the nearest hospital to where you will be if needed or even on the way if you are travelling and need to see a midwife\obstetrician, perhaps ring the local hospital antenatal dept to put your mind at rest and speak to your consultant?

Autumn2014 Sat 28-Nov-15 15:23:03

No its in Europe, a plane or ferry ride away. If I was brave enough to travel, although it would be foolish considering the amount of monitoring I'm having and the risks involved, I doubt I'd be allowed to fly and if I got the ferry I doubt I'd get medical travel insurance. It makes sense to cancel the hotel whilst we can still do without loosing the deposit, and the travel plans were only initial research rather than paid in advance.

Autumn2014 Sat 28-Nov-15 15:34:39

Hey its holly, thanks for your wise words. I could of course be cuddling my baby at the time and making our own family memories so the wedding will be a distant thought, or I could be sat by an incubator worrying about a tiny sick baby and the wedding will no register as a concern. Or I could be heavily pregnant and thanking my lucky stars that I'm nearly term and still cooking!

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Sat 28-Nov-15 16:07:10

It's hard to feel you are missing out on something important. Especially when, if everything had been straightforwardly, you could have had both.

Can you arrange to skype with the wedding at all?

Pollyputhtekettleon Sun 29-Nov-15 00:56:06

You won't be allowed on a plane or ferry at 36wks+. So that decides it really.

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