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How to tell bare-faced lies to co-workers

(63 Posts)
BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 16:08:53

Basically I've just found out I'm pg, and am telling everyone on MN as dh doesn't know yet and I'm giddy about it. Anyway, have a works Christmas do next week and have been blethering on and on about how much we should all drink and get merry this year after a tough time in work, how ace the cocktails are in the bar we're going to and basically everyone is going to wonder why I am not having a drink.

So far I've got
* am on antibiotics for sore wisdom tooth (plausible as have been moaning about wisdom teeth)
* drink coke and say it's vodka and coke/bacardi and coke etc (but doesn't solve the problem of the drinks kitty and rounds)

help please, you craft MNers!

steffy1 Mon 11-Dec-06 16:10:13

bad hangover from last night-"oh im never ever drinking again!".

would also help to explain your order of coke if someone comes to bar with you

hoxtonchick Mon 11-Dec-06 16:10:51

dunno the solution, but very happy for you .

MascaraOHara Mon 11-Dec-06 16:11:59

Your dp has bet you £100 that you can't stay sober at your works christmas do so you're driving.

BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 16:12:15

Thank you hoxton chick

Sobernoel Mon 11-Dec-06 16:13:45

Congratulations on being pg. I'd go with the antibiotics excuse - drinking coke all night will make you feel sick!

I discovered I was pg in early December and only a few people twigged why I volunteered to be the driver at all social events over Christmas.

BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 16:14:26

I know one team member will suss me out as soon as I refuse a drink, even if it is because I'm driving etc, but she won't ask me outright. I've contemplated not going at all, but dh will get suspicious and I'm keeping the pg test as his Christmas present so can't tell (don't know how successful that will be!)

BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 16:16:30

Maybe I'll leave work early one evening next week to fabricate a visit to the dentist and come into work the next day with the excuse of "I'll drive because I'm on antibiotics for my poorly wisdom teeth/gums"

Would you fall for it?

hoxtonchick Mon 11-Dec-06 16:21:17

um, no, i'd think you were pregnant !

bossykate Mon 11-Dec-06 16:22:43

take a sickie?

kickassangel Mon 11-Dec-06 16:29:15

don't make too big a fuss about it, go for anti-biotics and/or driving line. get everyone else so drunk they don't realise you're not drinking, tip the bar man to only serve you 'mocktails', leave early, without making a fuss, change the subject if anyone asks, encourage everyone to dance so they don't talk to you ...

can you tell i went through the same thing?

BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 16:29:48

I've paid for the most gorgeous meal though, I'd hate to take a sickie and don't want to spend the entire meal feining illness and not enjoy it. Can I eat warm goats cheese salad?

kickassangel Mon 11-Dec-06 16:29:52

cangrats by the way

BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 16:32:27

As there are a lot of women of child-bearing age in our place, and lots of women who are having/have had babies everyone is on the ball when it comes to lying. Gits. I know it's the first thing I'd suspect!

The thing is I can't even get dh in on it, so he's going to wonder what on earth I'm shunning drink for, it is very unlike me!

hoxtonchick Mon 11-Dec-06 16:37:17

oh go on, tell him tonight!

cece Mon 11-Dec-06 16:41:03

When I did this in the early stages of pg, everyone knew I was pg as I would always drink - even if it caused problems finding cabs home etc.... I think people will guess.... I know my frineds and colleagues did

PortAndLemonaid Mon 11-Dec-06 16:42:18

If you are a woman of childbearing age and you try the antibiotics excuse then everyone will automatically assume you are pregnant . In fact, if a man did it I'd almost suspect he was pregnant...

I really think that the "I have the world's worst hangover" excuse is the best one, but you'll have to build up to it -- start talking now about how you are going round to the house of one of your friends who isn't a work friend for a party the night before the work do, how she's a real party animal and you're surprised she's having a party on a work night, frankly, because last time everyone ended up with 24-hour hangovers, blah di blah di blah. Then pick up a big bottle of wine on your way into work (or better yet pop out to get one in your lunch hour) on the day of the "party" to have as your "bring a bottle", and make sure everyone sees it. Then stagger in (preferably a bit late) the morning after the "party" (i.e. day of the work do) and tell everyone how you are never ever drinking again and you wish you were dead. Have suitable stories of your feats of binge-drinkiness from the night before but bemoan that you must be getting old because you can't take it any more.

Ideally then when you are at the work do if you are buying the round get a non-alcoholic cocktail that looks suitably alcoholic. Then if someone else is getting a round say that you're pacing yourself after last night and you'll just have a coke this time. Once or twice let someone buy you an alcoholic drink, take the teensiest tiniest sip (just wetting your lips, not even really enough to swallow) and then lose it (after a while, wander off to talk to someone, put your drink down snd leave it).

xmasstocking Mon 11-Dec-06 16:45:09

Popped over from your other thread - congrats again! I did wonder how you would keep it from DH as my DH would suspect something straight away if I stopped drinking

Though it is funny how you think something is so obvious and nobody else notices - when I was pg but not wanting to tell people at work, I was sure they would suspect as I suddenly started eating huge meals at lunchtime - we are talking pudding aswell (when previously I always had ryvita) as lunchtime was the only time of the day I could eat anything, was going to the doctors every 5 minutes and felt (and looked) as rough as anything - noone suspected a thing and were all really surprised when I announced it!

I would go with the antibiotics lie if I were you - as long as you make it plausible (ie the visit to the dentist beforehand) then they probably won't suspect.

xmasstocking Mon 11-Dec-06 16:46:14

Cross post with you port - you sound like an expert on this!!

MKGnearlyimmaculateconception Mon 11-Dec-06 16:52:59

You could always say you've joined Alcoholics Anonymous. Most people don't push alcohol on recovering alcoholics.

Congratulations by the way

sweetheart Mon 11-Dec-06 17:06:44

I'm probably going to be shot dowm om f;ames for this but......

I would say your safe to have 1 or maybe 2 drinks during the evening so I would use the antibiotics line and then make a point of saying "sod it, I'll have one drink"

That way people are less likely to think that you are pregnant.

Go on then, flame me!

BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 17:28:58

No flames from me, I am a firm believer in everything in moderation and using pg related alcohol guidelines and just that - guidelines, not har dand fast rules.

I had the odd drink with dd but it repeated on me so badly I can even remember what and when they were! I had one glass of champagne on my wedding day (11 weeks pg), a sip or two of half a lager and lime which I wasted on DH's birthday (9 weeks pg) as it made me feel like I was going to vom, and a glass of wine and lemonade at a friend's party when I was about 6 months.

I considered having one with my meal and saying I ahd to drive, as the one drink may throw people off the scent, but I don't know if that would work, and don't particularly want to ahng around with v drunk people waiting to give them lifts home if I'm "the driver".

piglit Mon 11-Dec-06 17:38:00

I'm with Port on this one. Whenever any of my friends pull the old antibiotics line I just know they are pg! If you follow Port's advice and do the whole build up thing it'll be much more convincing.

The problem will be if your work colleagues guess and they then know before your dh. It's probably just me but I would feel truly awful if anyone knew I was pg before my dh.

BibiJesus Mon 11-Dec-06 17:45:59

I toyed with the idea of telling the onme person who would probably guess first to enlist her help in throwing the others off the scent, but like you say, Piglit, I would be devastated if someone knew before dh.

I am either going to have to act my @rse off or just not go.

piglit Mon 11-Dec-06 17:48:51

Congratulations by the way!

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