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18 months between babies, any motherly advice?

(10 Posts)
tiggy2610 Sun 22-Nov-15 10:26:28

I found out I was pregnant again at the start of the week, my DS is 10 months. This is a HUGE shock as it took 6 years and numerous rounds of IVF to conceive our son and this pregnancy is a result of a quickie for our anniversary blush yes, yes, I know we should have been better with contraception but in all honesty, after 6 years and being told it's unlikely we'll ever have kids we didn't think we needed to be super strict...

We are over the moon that I'm pregnant, we don't have any doubts what so ever about this baby and have just about gotten over the shock. But 2 under 2 is scaring me slightly! I'm wracked with guilt every time I look at my son thinking he's going to feel neglected, financially we'll struggle but money isn't everything, and I only returned to work last month!!

Does anyone have a small gap between children and give us some honest and practical advice?

Iammad Sun 22-Nov-15 10:30:00

I'm going to have two under 16 months, with my middle 3 children I had 3, 2 and under.
It is hard I'm not going to lie, esp now I'm 31 weeks with a very active 13 month old lol.
But think you will get over the nappy,baby,toddler stage pretty much in one go.
And they will have each other to play and fight with smile
Congrats I'm sure you will be fine.

MaisieDotes Sun 22-Nov-15 11:00:49

No experience yet, but I'm 30 weeks and DS is 15 months.

I planned it- I wanted them to be close in age and also I'm not a spring chicken so I thought get it done while the going is good.

I also have a 14 year old so I have one massive gap and one tiny gap smile

I'm under no illusions that the whole thing isn't going to be very, very hard work but it's what we wanted and I'm really looking forward to it.

Pollyputhtekettleon Mon 23-Nov-15 00:57:34

It's grand really but quite intense. You just get on with it! I've 19mts between ds and dd and am 38 wks with dc3 (dd will be 14mts). My two are excellent sleepers which helps but I do find it tough going at times. However that could be hugely because I had morning sickness for 5 mts and pregnancy exhaustion for the last 9 mts, they would probably have been a lot easier if it wasn't for that. Congratulations. It's gorgeous seeing them together, so close in age.

Scotinoz Mon 23-Nov-15 02:22:44

It's a bit nuts for the first month or so, but totally fine. Lovely seeing watching them grow up together. Mine are two and seven months now. Advice?

Being pregnant with a toddler is much harder than having a newborn and a toddler. Go with the flow. Let the eldest cuddle the baby when they want (terrifying at first!!) and be part of things. Accept that you'll feed the new baby while playing with trains/PlayDoh/colouring/etc. Lower your domestic standards for a while - beige dinners and not cleaning the bathroom so regularly are fine. TV is an acceptable babysitter. Get them sleeping at the same time as soon as possible so you get a bit of peace. Go out lots to exhaust your toddler.

nooka Mon 23-Nov-15 02:42:19

Well congratulations to start with smile

I have a 16 month between my two (also accidental) and it was very very hard to begin with, but only for me and dh not for the children. So my main advice is accept as much help as possible!

Really don't worry about your ds though. Small age gaps are great for kids. Much less sibling rivalry when they are teeny as your ds will likely very soon not remember life without his sibling. Worth if you can keeping his life as similar as before the baby, so if you use childcare think about whether you can keep some of it going, even just for a few hours each week (also might make a huge difference for you).

My two are 16 and 15 now and very good friends and support for each other. They have played together pretty much since dd (the younger) was old enough to crawl over to ds's stuff and pull it apart! They still have lots of interests in common and things like holidays and activities have been much easier as they are pretty much at the same stage past babyhood.

Out2pasture Mon 23-Nov-15 03:41:44

I had 3. 18 mth's between the first two, 16 between the middle and last. brought the 3rd one home a month before the oldest turned 3.....
you will be fine, get the oldest sleeping through the night, dressing him/herself and toilet trained asap.

Chattycat78 Mon 23-Nov-15 16:45:56

I'm in a similar boat tiggy. I have a ten month old through ivf, and we were given the impression it would be difficult to get pregnant on our own. For this reason we started trying for dc2 as soon as I finished breastfeeding. I had no idea If it was possible and I was definitely expecting to be in for the long haul and it to take 18 months or something. Instead, It took 1 month of trying (!!!) and I've just returned from a scan at 7 weeks which shows not one but two heartbeats. shock so now like you, am mega panicking, although the twins curveball I was not expecting!!!hmm

SecretLocation Mon 23-Nov-15 16:52:55

Congratulations!

I have a 16 month gap between my two. It is crazy at first but you do adapt, honestly! They are 7 and 8 years old now and I'm so glad we had that small gap. They are really close, plus you go through the stages together so both out of nappies within a year of each other, starting school within a year of each other. As a family it's easy to find activities that we all like to do as kids are into similar things.

Honestly, you will be fine smile

SnowBodyforrrrm Mon 23-Nov-15 17:00:43

Congratulations!!

I had three under 16 months as well as a four year old shock

My twins are now 3.5yrs and my sons are 4 and 8. The last few years have been incredibly hard. Take all the help you can get. I'd highly recommend a home start volunteer for the early months.

Don't be hard on yourself when you have days where going out seems like too much hard work. Your son will not miss out, he's too young to understand and in time he will have a wonderful little playmate. My three little ones are such good company for each other, never a dull moment round here. Now I'm through the really rough bit, I wouldn't change it. The twins are a school year behind my youngest son, and have just started nursery and reception. I'm now glad they weren't spaced out as I'm beginning to get some time back for myself.

Good luck with the pregnancy!

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