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Do midwives have the right to do this?

(12 Posts)
Mama365 Thu 12-Nov-15 04:53:18

My midwife turned up at my house at 9am yesterday without calling ahead to arrange this visit. She was adamant about coming in even though I wasn't dressed and was trying to eat my breakfast, which had to go cold whilst she chattered away at me.

The reason she came to visit was because I haven't got round to fully registering at the local doctor's surgery yet as I've been juggling moving whilst being 30 weeks pg and going through a break up and sorting legal stuff out. I have the forms filled out, just haven't handed them in to reception. I am registered at a doctors not too far away and can still use it so I'm not sure why she came round just for that and couldn't have called instead. She said if I hadn't done it by tomorrow she would be back to visit again and wouldn't be so nice about it. What's she going to do, physically drag me up there? She knows that I have been extremely busy and under a lot of pressure so doing that was the last on my list. I just thought the whole thing was a little strange and uncalled for. Has she got the right to just turn up like that and expect to come in despite what I'm doing at the time?confused

Mama365 Thu 12-Nov-15 05:15:17

+I've just thought surely if she knows I don't have much spare time she could have offered to take the forms and drop them off for me. So weirdconfused

Whoknewitcouldbeso Thu 12-Nov-15 05:43:32

Have you had any midwife or scan appointments at all? It sounds like they are very concerned and that's why she decided to ambush you at home.

Mama365 Thu 12-Nov-15 05:52:19

Yeah I've been attending all my appointments and everything with baby is fine. She's not concerned about my break up or anything like that as she's aware of my network of family and friends. She literally just came to tell me to hand those forms in, which she could have done over the phone. I felt like saying no to her coming in as I was eating but not really good at asserting myself

reallybadidea Thu 12-Nov-15 06:21:13

I would be very annoyed about this, particularly the bit about not being so nice about it next time. That is rude at best and threatening at worst. Whatever her reasons for the visit it sounds badly handled. Personally I'd consider complaining to the supervisor of midwives.

Whoknewitcouldbeso Thu 12-Nov-15 06:26:37

I know with my first pregnancy the midwives were very keen to do home visits. Second time around they are so hands off its ridiculous.

I have surmised that they were keen to check the house out and suss out my relationship etc as a safe guarding thing. Could be similar here.

FishWithABicycle Thu 12-Nov-15 06:28:32

It's a crap way to approach you and I would be equally annoyed (no one gets to stop me enjoying my breakfast while it's hot) but I wonder if the issue is that the money to pay for your prenatal care might go into the wrong bit of the NHS if you keep not getting around to doing this?

Good luck with getting everything sorted.

Hereisnownotthen Thu 12-Nov-15 06:50:59

Wow, whoknew, our midwives never do home visits until the baby is born.
I would have been very annoyed at this OP. I mean , you are pg you could've been struggling on the bog at that time!
Maybe her goal was to be annoying so you wouldn't want to risk a second visit.
I think the comment about 'not being so nice next time ' was completely out of order. I hate health professionals who thnk they can scold patients as if they are children - the power tripping bastards.

HeteronormativeHaybales Thu 12-Nov-15 06:57:03

Very intrusive, and her language ('not so nice about it next time') was very heavy-handed. I would at the least be asking to be assigned to a different MW.
Where there are no concerns, HCPs should not be acting as coercive authorities.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Thu 12-Nov-15 06:59:13

What the FUCK? Complain complain complain. Then complain again. Awful. Hope you're alright op, you're already go through a lot, you don't need this absolute insanity!

cth1982 Thu 12-Nov-15 11:44:17

at my Antenatal Classes they did mention after the birth that the Midwife will just come over to your house with no advanced warning - which struck me as odd - it seems even odder in your case OP BUT they may just be how they work?

Mordirig Mon 23-Nov-15 00:34:52

After having 2 DC by C Section where recovering was at the top of my list, this includes resting, sleeping and feeling content I have developed the handy habit of not opening my door to anyone without an appointment or arrangement by phone if its an emergency.
This situation doesn't seem like an emergency, she was imposing, rude and unprofessional IMO.
I personally would tell her calmly to her face at the next appointment that you didn't appreciate how she handled herself and depending on how she takes that either let her know you need a phone call before any impromptu visits or you will ask for a different MW which is totally your prerogative.

You need someone who is supportive, kind and firm but not in a way to put you on the back foot.

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