This is my first pregnancy and I am 35 weeks. My husband and I spent today at an all-day NHS-run ante-natal session. We had been hoping for information about early parenting, seeing how none has been offered so far. We spent all day sat on unbearably uncomfortable chairs with other couples, being given information about labour and how the baby comes out. Which is fine, but we are none the wiser about caring for our little one when he/she arrives!
We were going to go to an NCT essentials course but were advised the content was the same as the NHS one, and when I did enquire they only had one space and I would have had to attend on my own. The NCT offfered us a place on the £200 one, which we really couldn't afford.
The midwives running the course today (it was for Dec/Jan due dates) said they were trying to get more things going at local Child and Family centres, for early parenting and breastfeeding etc, and I would need to speak to my midwife about this.
My concern is that throughout my pregnancy, the midwife team seem to have assumed that we have a clue about what is going on, even though this is my first. After the initial booking appointments, we were misinformed about how to book the scans. We also were given no information about how to choose which type of scan to have at 12 weeks, and treated disdainfully when we didn't know how to decide. My 17 and 24 week appointments were missed, because my midwife hadn't informed me that I "should have known" to call for an appointment around those dates. She said "I don't know how we missed you"! She also told me to text her any concerns, which I have done but I don't get replies. If I ask questions at appointments I get a disdainful response, like I am somehow beyond stupid for asking. I don't feel informed about anything, and the info I have gleaned is seemingly only given out reluctantly, or if I happen to ask the right question at the right time.
Most of the information we have found out is through looking online. Is this "hands off" approach the same for everyone? I know two other people who have had similar experiences to me. Our local child and family centre have listings online for workshops for July/August 2015.
We need to know how to care for our child when it is born, we are willing and able to attend local sessions, which just aren't publicised. I don't know what to do!!
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Disappointed with ante-natal session and info from midwife team
MrsCrimshaw · 07/11/2015 19:34
What sort of thing do you want to know? Antenatal advice all seems to be about labour etc. I remember my first throwing up what I'm assuming was meconium after birth. I thought he was dying. 
With regards to babies, feed, cuddle, try to get some sleep, repeat!
There are lots of books about parenting older children.
The nursery nurses on the postnatal ward will happily show you how to bathe and change your baby. I didn't have a clue either, just muddled through. I was so scared of damaging the umbilical stump that I didn't dare wash DS for about a week he was filthy! Are your parents nearby? Will they be able to lend a practical hand in the first few days? What about friends with children?
I know it's very easy to say, "it will come naturally", but it sort of does. When they cry, you have a checklist you mentally run through: 1. Nappy 2. Milk 3. Tired. Just keep repeating until they stop crying!
When my DS was being weighed by the midwife in the delivery room they had to remind me to get him dressed and put a nappy on him. I was utterly clueless. Yet somehow my DS is almost a year old and thriving! Madness! 
FWIW I didn't manage to get to any ante natal classes when I was PG with my DD.
I was only 20 and had very little experience with kids and zero with babies. I managed to learn to BF (despite having many issues and being persuaded to FF), bath and change her, and keep her alive in general (for ten years, lol).
There's a lot to be said for instinct. It's not as difficult as you make it out to be in your head. Plus, the MWs at the hospital taught me a lot whilst I was in hospital (traumatic labour, blood loss etc meant I was in for five days). I was actually terrified when I was discharged and had to do it alone, but you manage just fine.
She's turned out to be a fantastic kid. And I'm now a dab hand at fixing my friends babies when they squawk. 
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I feel the same as you OP 
my mw forgot to discuss antenatal appointments with me so when I raised it at 29 weeks with her she told me it was too late to book nhs ones and she apologised, I've ended n up booking nct ones that have cost me £165 but I was too nervous not to!
I've never changed a nappy in my life neither has my husband and am hoping that these classes will offer a bit of advice for post labour... like you I feel pretty clueless! I don't think people who don't understand why you can't just Google it aren't living in the real world! Having a baby is scary and you don't always want to learn how to change a nappy via Google! !
my midwife has been shit, she won't give me her mobile number and works part time so if I need to speak to her I have to call a land line and leave a vm on a machine that gets monitored at 3 pm daily!
Also she rang me last week to say my last bloods came back abnormal and I needed to go to my docs (where I see her) for a repeat test. I got to work an hour late as she booked by apt for 9am Friday and when I got to the blood test room they refused to do them as my midwife had forgotten to leave them any forms! It really winds me up. I feel for you and hope that everything goes well for you as it is very daunting.
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