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I'm not coping anymore, mental health...

(12 Posts)
Chloeisobelle21 Sat 07-Nov-15 11:11:00

Some of you ladies have probably read some of my previous threads. But I'm just not coping and don't know where to turn. I have been put on the list for therapy which I have to wait 4-6 weeks for a phone call. In the meantime I'm a mess.
I'm constantly thinking I have something seriously wrong with me. It all started with my arm going numb and feeling heavy, the doctor diagnosed carpel tunnel and anxiety. Well fast forward to a couple of weeks later I was checking my eyesight yesterday and my left eye's long distance range is blurry compared to my right. No idea how long it's been like this but my health anxiety is telling me it's come on suddenly! I've also had a headache for the last 4 days with neck pains. I can't clean my house, I can't function anymore. I'm nearly 15 weeks pregnant and I don't know what harm this is doing to my pregnancy. I don't know where to turn anymore, I'm just so so scared

Chloeisobelle21 Sat 07-Nov-15 11:14:59

Can I just add onto this that I got pregnant unexpectedly. The father I had been seeing for a few months but he doesn't want a relationship with me which has actually broken my heart. All he wants is sex, he came round to talk about the baby a few nights ago, and we ended up having sex. He left straight after and hasn't spoken to me since. I've told him never again, that he can see the baby but I'm not here for just when he wants to get his end away. This is all contributing to how low I'm feeling

CuppaSarah Sat 07-Nov-15 12:20:12

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, it sounds so difficult. If it helps, I believe the way eyes work is your brain automatically cancels out any small differences between the eyes vision so you usually have had it for weeks even months before you suddenly notice the difference. Vision does change slightly in pregnancy too. Headaches are totally normal too, another preganncy symptom and anxiety symptom.

You will not have hurt baby by being anxious at all, I promise you that. It's only yourself that's suffering. Anxiety is a horrible, horrible thing.

I think you need to make an appointment with the midwife for asap and see if they can help get you some therapy a little sooner, sometimes if more than one health professional is pushing you can be bumped up the list a bit.

With your ex, you are so vulnerable right now, your feelings must be all over the place. So knowing how to handle things with him must be so difficult, no one can blaime you for struggling with knwoing what to do. Have you posted on the relationships board? There are some amazing posters, who can offer you some amazing advice and support. flowers you be kind to yourself, you're going through so much right now.

KatyN Sat 07-Nov-15 13:08:04

Defo talk to your mw and your gp. I suffering with horrific anxiety at the minute (33 weeks) and have had so much support from everyone it's been amazing. I've been seen by the consultant at the hospital and been fast tracked through the waiting list for therapy.

Some of mine is related to the birth of my son, but that had brought up all my old usual anxiety.

In the meantime, I'm doing regular meditation, getting out each day and generally just getting through each day

Good luck, kxx

Chloeisobelle21 Sat 07-Nov-15 16:48:06

Thank you. I feel silly even talking to
My midwife about this, I just feel like I'm not coping. I spend most of the day crying and just feeling terrible. I live by myself and I do have friends but they don't know the extent of how I'm feeling because I don't feel comfortable telling people. Just wish my doctor could help me more, even if I could get a phone call once a day maybe just to vent and let it all out. I just feel so alone. On top of all this I keep thinking the baby will be poorly or won't survive after its born because I just can't imagine having another child. I just feel completely hopkess

goodnightdarthvader1 Sat 07-Nov-15 17:09:58

Has your blood pressure been checked recently?

kamillaw Sat 07-Nov-15 17:44:18

Headache and neck pain are definitely linked to tension and anxiety. I really think give the midwife a call. It might be that you can get some antenatal help, for example we have a dedicated midwife for that here as a one to one service and a counsellor too. Might be worth thinking about medication too if it really gets tough. Both my children have been fine and I took it throughout each pg.

Try and eat well and get some fresh air or do something you enjoy everyday just to take your mind off things. I liked watching trash on TV and doing those doodle colouring books. Still do when I'm bad!

vgiraffe Sat 07-Nov-15 22:09:52

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time at the moment. It is definitely worth focusing on the 'small' things as they can make a difference. Eat well, get out for some exercise and fresh air, see people (even if you don't want to talk about how you are feeling, just being around others can help).

Try some regular relaxation exercises - every day if possible - there are lots of apps, or audios you can get online. There are different types (eg. mindfulness; imagery) so try a few and see which appeals to you. It will give your mind and body a chance to wind down for 10 mins and if you do it regularly will become easier and hopefully you will find it easier to relax throughout the day.

I'm new to the forum and don't know exactly what type of anxiety you have, but I would recommend some self help guides that you can access online (google Northumberland self help) which might give you a head start whilst you are waiting for therapy.

In terms of phone calls and wanting to vent, there are helplines such as Mindline 0300 123 3393 (Mon to Fri, 9.00am - 6.00pm) or Saneline 0300 304 7000 (6pm – 11pm daily).

You might not feel like doing any of these things at the moment so just focus on achieving small goals each day (eg. going for a short walk; trying some relaxation). Hang in there, you will be ok.

Lemonylemoncake Sat 07-Nov-15 22:18:53

I suffered with anxiety throughout my pregnancy. I felt so very lonely. It was almost impossible to explain how bad it was and I found I faced a lot of judgement from my DF and DM. My experience makes me afraid to get pg again although I would love another baby.

Please don't think you will harm your baby by being sad or anxious. My DD is very happy and content despite what I went through and I do utterly adore her.

I don't know that I have any real advice. Just didn't want you to feel alone like I did.

See if you can get bumped up the list for some help. Just having someone to talk to who will listen completely may really benefit you.

Daffodil3228 Sun 08-Nov-15 13:02:31

Big hug Chloe Isabelle flowers
You posting this will have encouraged lots of people feeling the same. My circumstances are not much different although my pregnancy is further along (34 weeks)
I think you are awesome and stronger than you think for taking on the fact that you are a mummy to be without the support of your partner. He is the weak one here. You are not having an easy time with physical or mental symptoms but you are still thinking about if your baby is protected from this and developing safely. It is true us women are the stronger ones and I also feel confident your baby will be fine, growing away and taking the best of all the nutrients in your body which might also be why you may be feeling a bit run down! Keep taking those multivitamins or having a bit of fruit and veg if you can to make sure your body is able to keep you going as well as baby! (Says the person who ate well more junk food in pregnancy than at any other time- hey there have to be some upsides to being pregnant!!)
From my experience i'd say hang in there it gets better!
I also struggled with loneliness and wondering what all these new horrible health symptoms related to pregnancy were and how bad they were going to get.
I had terrible numbness in my right hand around 18-20 weeks, slept only on left side for a bit, funnily enough this has got better as my pregnancy has gone along.
I was exhausted through a lot of this pregnancy and down about the state of the house- a couple of times I swallowed pride and took a friend at their word and got them to clean kitchen and bathroom.
Also hired cleaner as one off- it forced me to de-clutter beforehand and made me so happy to have a proper clean house!! I never would have done this before being pregnant! So id say go ahead and indulge yourself in whatever might help you at the moment practically.
i hope also that you can get the help you need through the nhs- I'd say don't feel bad about contacting midwife to chase this, they should have been putting this support in place earlier I think.
Xxx

Chloeisobelle21 Mon 09-Nov-15 10:53:23

Thank you so much, yeah I have been close to hiring a cleaner myself! It's the washing up that gets me as I live in a flat and don't have room for a dishwasher. I just feel like I've been left to get on with it. I have been reffered to ARK twice but they are so busy. I don't even want to call my midwife, I don't even want to talk to her. I still can barely get my head around being pregnant, it's like I'm in denial or something. I didn't have my booking till 13 weeks. I've got to see her soon for my 15 week check so will talk to her more then. I've got an eye test tomorrow as well which I'm worrying about. Just one thing after another

CalypsoLilt Wed 11-Nov-15 15:35:21

Come and join us on the pregnant and single support thread if you like brew

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/2477693-Pregnant-and-Single-support-thread

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